Nearly 4 year old and 5 year old sons

[Chippingbird23]

Does it get easier? Gosh they are lovely boys and play so well a lot of the times but the slightest thing they fight and I literally have to jump in and separate them! I mean really For each other! I I tell them off of course and separate them, if they start in the garden I get them inside and tell them no play until they behave.

My 5 year is on asd spectrum but 4 year old screams so much when he gets a little upset about anything. It doesn’t matter how many time out and often I’ve sat down with him and looked him the in the eye and explained his behaviour it goes in one ear and out the other! My nearly 4 year old has been difficult lately wanting to be first at everything and demanding but nothing i think is out of the ordinary. Anyone with two boys similar age give experience if you’ve dealth with similar?

No sorry, mine are 9 and 7 and fight all day every day it’s relentless

Same here but will protect each other and love each other hugely. I think it’s a brother dynamic, you aren’t doing anything wrong.

No - from personal experience it peaked at 15/16 where they would literally try to kill each other. It kind of smoothed out when one left home three years ago and they muddle along nicely by text now.

To add the only time they do get along is when they are starting on their sisters 😣

Mine are grown up now, but no, they fight occasionally, but never actually physical

Me and my sister who are 18 months apart stopped arguing and beating the crap out of each other at about 17 or 18 when we realised we could share clothes and shoes and go clubbing together 😂 both in our 30s now and speak daily.

Mine are 10 and 7 and still fight every day. Elder one generally winds the little one up until he thumps him.

Right this is inspiring 😅 it’s weird when they are play fighting and pretending to be hulk and iron man they are funny to watch as so gentle with each other. When one gets in the hump with the other they hit each other hard, it makes me nervous as they are. Really quite rough and nothing I say or do can make them reason with each other and I’m constantly stepping in

My daughter is gentle in comparison even when she is upset and they aren’t as rough with her but the boys fight like really grab each other 5 minutes they are playing again and best friends 🙄

@DeflatedGinDrinker

Me and my sister who are 18 months apart stopped arguing and beating the crap out of each other at about 17 or 18 when we realised we could share clothes and shoes and go clubbing together 😂 both in our 30s now and speak daily.

And I thought two girls with the same age difference as my boys were so much better 😂 I hate to admit it but I every now and again I think if you two were girls you would be playing so much nicer and not fighting so rough although of course I wouldn’t swop them for anything lol

Mine are 6 and 9 and are just like this. Sorry!

Mine are two years apart and they got easier and easier as they got older. Probably the hardest was 3/5. It was hard because one was rough and competitive and the other was gentle and easy going.
They are now adults and get on well. Though there is the occasional hint of Friday Night Dinner

It’s gonna sound stereotypical but honestly my girls never fights, it’s always the boys winding each other up or winding the girls up, sometimes I hate having boys so close in age as I think if there was more of a gap they would fight less.

My 9 year old and 4 year old are brutal. I remind the older one he is much bigger and please dont break his brother but to be fair he sure gives as good as he gets.

I wish I could add something different! Mine fought, very close in age also. Often though if I intervened that kind of 'ganged up' on me, so there fight would be over, but I was the common enemy (in a nice, not nasty, way btw).

They get on brilliantly now as young adults, and always have got on, just very fighty! I used to quite envy friends with two little girls (until the teenage years!)

Pick your battles OP. Sometimes, unless one is getting really hurt it's ok to let it run it's course. Easier to chat later on about how we treat each other etc rather than trying to intervene mid-battle!

Following this. Purely to make myself feel better. Mine are 3 and 5, almost 4 and 6. They fight over fresh air, a blade of grass, the red piece out of 10000 red pieces of Lego. Literally anything!

Mine are 3 and 6 and it’s exactly the same!!!

Aged 14 and 15 (with no special needs) and they still have their moments! It’s a brother thing

Ten and 14-year-old boys here. They fight Lots and it is truly horrible to witness and be the one to sort it out, when I'd rather be anywhere else. Such hatred, competition and jealousy.
I suppose it's like a litter of pups. They all want the most resources from parents, and act on that.

Had to step in between an 18 and half year old and 20 year old at tea time.

Its a sibling thing.
Now they are adults, my ds takes full credit for the fact we don't worry too much about my dds being out late at night / on their own etc. - we all would back either of them in a fight, or if attacked. He takes credit for all the times they used to fight as children and teens. He's got a point, tbf.

Our boys are 3.5 to and 6 yo with ASD and they’re the same. My 3.5 yo can be quite loud which sets off his brother who then goes in to hit him and the 3.5 yo hits back. They’re both emotional which doesn’t help either. It’s a daily occurrence, exhausting, and I feel like the time I enjoy them most is when they’re sleeping. It is sweet when they’re playing together. I’m really hoping they grow out of it. Really .. Really hope.. The thought of years of this makes me shudder.

I don't let my children fight/hit/bite etc. Any sign of it and they are immediately separated and lose privileges (dessert, tv time etc). They learn quickly enough that if they want to play together they can't fight. They do want to play together so they rarely fight. (1 boy, 1 girl, girl is the more fighty of the two).

4 boys, all teens or older now. They stopped by late teens, early teens really but there were a few moments that reminded me it wasn’t over.

Tbh, early on I stopped breaking it up. I grew up as one of 8, we fought incessantly and my parents never got involved, eventually we got over it and have wonderful conflict resolution skills!

I cba to look for it, but there is research that shows some rough play is good for children as they grow up. They need to (like bear cubs, or chimpanzees) .

I thought my brothers would kill each other growing up but now they live mere blocks from each other and see each other every day. My mum used to say it’s how brothers show their love but OMG. The punching.