Nearly 4 year old and 5 year old sons

[Chippingbird23]

Does it get easier? Gosh they are lovely boys and play so well a lot of the times but the slightest thing they fight and I literally have to jump in and separate them! I mean really For each other! I I tell them off of course and separate them, if they start in the garden I get them inside and tell them no play until they behave.

My 5 year is on asd spectrum but 4 year old screams so much when he gets a little upset about anything. It doesn’t matter how many time out and often I’ve sat down with him and looked him the in the eye and explained his behaviour it goes in one ear and out the other! My nearly 4 year old has been difficult lately wanting to be first at everything and demanding but nothing i think is out of the ordinary. Anyone with two boys similar age give experience if you’ve dealth with similar?

@NoIDontWatchLoveIsland

On of my mum friends tolerates far too much hitting and pushing and shoving from her 4 year old son. As a result my son is shifting away from wanting to play with him (and I am quietly encouraging other friends) because he keeps hitting and pushing him in the course of play. I don't know why people think it's ok to let children be so rough. These are the kids who push others around in the playground, and its totally unnecessary.

Mine can be horrendous with each other. I’ve tried so much and at the moment a lot of it is my younger one being quite feisty at the moment yet so gentle with his nieces and with his sister in comparison but rough with his brother and his brother has slightly improved over time and is still very rough physically.

However at pre school my youngest is gentle and was told only last week ‘ a new boy started today and your son was so lovely and welcoming to him. Never has he hit anyone at the park or playground or nursery. Long may that continue! equally my 5 year old boy in reception hasn’t got any behaviour problems with other kids at school either and he has special needs. It’s with each other that is the problem they literally go from best mates to worst enemies and go for each other over the silliest things and I’ve tried so many different methods to stop it.

One poster mentioned being left to it but if I did I’m sure they would hurt each other. Already thy scratch each other although that has stopped a lot. Sibling rivalry maybe?

My ds will be 4 in July and he does have tantrums sometimes, especially when he loses games. He wants to win at everything, runs around lots and is a bundle of energy all the time. He does fight with his 5 year old sister some times but not as often. Sibling rivalry is normal to some extent but hurting each other is not OK. Obviously as they get older you need to work on their relationship so they have each other's back, family comes first and all that.

My sibling has two boys. They don't fight.

The rules are the same in their house as mine, it's not allowed, and you lose privileges if you do it. So they do not do it.

I don't understand this thread at all. There are numerous threads on mnet with parents struggling with toddlers in the hitting phase etc, hitting siblings etc and they are given good advice on how to stop it. No one says "oh it's ok, you should let your boys keep right on hitting, it doesn't count if its your sibling". Its always considered the norm to stop young children hitting etc.

So why is it allowed in so many households here? Does it get stopped at age 2 but mysteriously allowed again at age 5?

Again, you are confusing wrestling / rolling around / play fighting, with hitting out in anger.

@NoIDontWatchLoveIsland

My sibling has two boys. They don't fight.

The rules are the same in their house as mine, it's not allowed, and you lose privileges if you do it. So they do not do it.

I don't understand this thread at all. There are numerous threads on mnet with parents struggling with toddlers in the hitting phase etc, hitting siblings etc and they are given good advice on how to stop it. No one says "oh it's ok, you should let your boys keep right on hitting, it doesn't count if its your sibling". Its always considered the norm to stop young children hitting etc.

So why is it allowed in so many households here? Does it get stopped at age 2 but mysteriously allowed again at age 5?

I don't know. I love my sons. They are smart and funny and crazy and fun.

As other posters have said, the fighting is never malicious really and they don't fight at school.

I assure you. It's normal behaviour for brothers.

My 7 year old girl and 4 year old boy are the same. They fight about everything, and I mean everything. Who gets to press the button at traffic lights, who gets to open the front door, who gets to pick up a piece of rubbish I asked one of them to... It's constant and they are physical too, so not just boys, it's my daughter that is the most agressive.