Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Family forgot my babies 1st birthday

55 replies

ImbarbaraB · 01/06/2021 05:23

Am I being unreasonable in feeling hurt that nearly all my family forgot my child’s 1st birthday?

My parents remembered obviously and my sister but my brothers and all my cousins / aunties forgot

OP posts:
milinhas · 01/06/2021 05:25

Probably your brothers should have remembered but I think cousins / aunties / uncles is a step too far, unless your family is particularly close!

sbhydrogen · 01/06/2021 05:29

I'd be pretty upset if my family forgot my DDs' birthdays. But I am close with them.

PegPeople · 01/06/2021 05:29

If you're close to your siblings then yes I'd be sad they forgot especially if you've mentioned it recently. However unless you are an incredibly closed family I honestly wouldn't expect aunts, uncles or cousins etc to remember your babies birthday. It would have been a nice sentiment to send a card but I equally wouldn't have noticed if they hadn't.

Prisonbreak · 01/06/2021 05:31

I wouldn’t remember unless you gave me nudge a few weeks before.

MrsTerryPratchett · 01/06/2021 05:33

Brothers should. I'd expect my parents and siblings to all nudge each other.

Cousins and aunties, not really.

Posieandpip · 01/06/2021 05:35

I have no clue when my brother's kids birthdays are he has no clue when mine are, so no! I just remind my brother to say happy birthday and he would remind me, we aren't fussed about stuff like this.

Mrbob · 01/06/2021 05:37

Your cousins and aunties?! No there is no way I would expect them to remember. Unless you had invited them to a party on the actual day.
I think sometimes it is easy to forget that a baby is a bigger deal for you than everyone else

BlueDucky · 01/06/2021 06:08

If it was recently then that means your baby was born during covid lockdown? In which case time did a funny thing for people a year ago and they might not have remembered exactly when your baby was born. I've found a few people having to ask for reminders this year of birthdays. It still sucks that your brothers forgot - buy them a birthday book for Christmas! Aunties and cousins are a bit more distant I guess? And if there's lots of them it's easy to lose track.

Happy Birthday to your little one.

SarahBellam · 01/06/2021 06:13

Unless you were having a party and they all forgot to come then YABU.

cariadlet · 01/06/2021 06:15

The mosy important thing is that your parents remembered. It's disappointing that your brothers were useless; next year remind them a couple of weeks in advance.

I haven't really seen any of my aunties, uncles or cousins since I was an adult. Dd is 18 and has never had a card or present from any of them. My parents update me with their news but I haven't really kept track of which of my cousins have had children let alone any of their names, ages or birthdays.

Beeeeeeeeeeeeeep · 01/06/2021 06:16

Cousins and aunties? YABU. Brothers, YANBU.

TwoAndAnOnion · 01/06/2021 06:17

Did the baby notice ?

Eviethyme · 01/06/2021 06:46

Siblings not sure as I am a single child but cousins and aunties yabu. I couldn't care less when a 1 year old birthday was... Unless we were really close

DeathStare · 01/06/2021 06:56

As others have said, I wouldn't expect aunts/uncles/cousins to remember or to mark the occasion unless you are an incredibly close family and spend lots of time together.

How old are your brothers? Do they have their own DC?

Looubylou · 01/06/2021 06:59

It's annoying, but men are often hopeless at this sort of thing. In my family they would be reminded by others in normal conversation. Depends how family communicate generally. For wider family YABU. Also the past year has been very confusing for people.

AllThatFancyPaintsAsFair · 01/06/2021 07:02

No, I would be more surprised if my cousins and aunts did know when my children's birthdays are

My siblings maybe I'd think they might know but I still wouldn't be bothered if they didn't. People have busy lives. I don't expect my stuff to be importan( to everyone one else.

StuffinThePuffin · 01/06/2021 07:04

Your brothers should have remembered, but I wouldn't expect your aunties or cousins to remember. I suppose it depends how close you are.

Mandsy100 · 01/06/2021 07:05

Cousins and aunties? Yabu for that. I can imagine they have other stuff going on. Your parents and siblings remembered, surely that matters most?

NeedNewKnees · 01/06/2021 07:06

YABU. Your child’s grandparents remembered, and that’s the important bit.

I don’t know my cousins’ kids birthdays and am fairly hazy on ages. They are the same with mine.

Your PFB looms large in your, as he should, but not in your wider family.

Treezan82 · 01/06/2021 07:07

The only people I might be upset about is brothers but only if you are actually close - my brothers wouldn't remember my kids birthdays unless I actually tell them/invite them and to be honest I'm not great with their kids birthdays either.

Geamhradh · 01/06/2021 07:18

As gently as possible, YABU.
The child's grandparents remembered. As others say, brothers possibly "should" but I sometimes remember my sister's children and sometimes don't.
Cousins and Aunties? Not a scooby.
Not even if you all live on the same street, your baby is only the centre of your world.
Hope you had a lovely day Flowers

RowanAlong · 01/06/2021 07:18

No, in my experience it’s only grandparents who are really just as excited as you about your baby - enough to have the date etched in their mind, or to write down on a birthday calendar or similar!

Give them a nudge next time beforehand...

Mmmcheese89 · 01/06/2021 07:20

My own father used to forget mine. His gf would remind him to send a text and he'd do a bank transfer.

wombatspoopcubes · 01/06/2021 07:21

Cousins and aunties? Blimey, I have 32 cousins, I already have trouble remembering their childrens names, let alone when their birthday is.

BoomChicka · 01/06/2021 07:24

It depends.. have they met/seen the baby over the last year? Ordinarily I would say that's a bit shit of your siblings, but dp's brother had a baby last year that we've only seen once (their choice, they are anxious FTP) and I could tell you the month but not the date she was born.