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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Aibu or is my teen behaving spoilt?

59 replies

Teendrama · 30/05/2021 14:27

I've had my eye on some trainers for about a year. My teenage ds had recently started mentioning that he liked these trainers too (I'm a youngish mum).

Ds hadn't actually asked for the trainers just mentioned that he really liked the style.

This morning at the shops with dh, on a whim I've treated myself to the trainers for the Summer.

Got home, ds asked what was in the bag. Ds has thrown a huge strop, crying, slammed his games controller, told me I'm taking the piss.

I'm pretty upset and taken aback at his behaviour. He's never gone without anything, no one in this house goes without nice things, we are extremely lucky. He's recently had a very nice birthday present. We've got loads of lovely activities booked in as a family.

He's got lots of nice clothes and trainers of his own that he chose himself. But obviously with growing feet he can't just always have the exact branded trainers every time he wants them. He's got his own birthday money too.

I try not to spoil the dc but they certainly don't go without.

We were taking the dc out this evening and I don't even feel like going now.

OP posts:
Ihopeyourcakeisshit · 30/05/2021 14:29

He's behaving badly, but don't let him spoil the evening.
Is he old enough to stay at home and sulk?

User135792468 · 30/05/2021 14:31

Tell him to stop being a turd and apologise otherwise he’s not coming tonight and can stay home and sulk. Also make clear that you can wear what you want and he’s more than welcome to copy your trainers with his own birthday money 😂

Hellocatshome · 30/05/2021 14:33

Yep he is acting spoilt, how old is he? If he wanted them that badly he should have asked for them for his birthday or bought them with his own money.

Jizzonmy · 30/05/2021 14:33

Tell him you used your own money to buy them and that if he likes the trainers, he can buy some with his own money too.

Fluffycloudland77 · 30/05/2021 14:37

I bet you go to work and earn the money to buy them too don’t you!.

He’s quite welcome to buy his own isn’t he?.

OrangePowder · 30/05/2021 14:38

He's upset and having a tantrum,it's not OK but it is understandable.

Is he upset because you've got the trainers and he hasn't or is it because if/when he does get them his mum will be wearing the same trainers?

If all the thousands of trainers there's only one pair you both covet? What's so special about them.

Hankunamatata · 30/05/2021 14:40

Did he know you had your eye on same trainers? I can imagine he would be upset if he hadnt known you wanted them, then he told you specially he like them then you went and brought them yourself.

Wearywithteens · 30/05/2021 14:41

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn at the poster's request.

TaraR2020 · 30/05/2021 14:45

My parents would have come down on me like a ton of bricks if I'd behaved like that.

You've done nothing wrong, obviously

sweeneytoddsrazor · 30/05/2021 14:47

I would guess rather than he hasn't got new trainers he is upset because you have got yourself the trainers he wanted. What teenager wants to wear the same trainers as their mother?

rainbowandglitter · 30/05/2021 14:47

Surely he'd be embarrassed wearing the same trainers as his mum? Is that what the strop is about really do you think?

Bluntness100 · 30/05/2021 14:48

Wow. How old is he?

Aquamarine1029 · 30/05/2021 14:55

He's behaving horribly and needs to know it. How dare he be so self-absorbed and disrespectful. I wouldn't let this go without some very stern words.

OrangePowder · 30/05/2021 14:58

Ok so imagine your best friend knew you were covetting a dress, saving hard but couldn't quite afford it yet and then...

AnneLovesGilbert · 30/05/2021 15:00

@OrangePowder

Ok so imagine your best friend knew you were covetting a dress, saving hard but couldn't quite afford it yet and then...
He can afford them. He has his own money.
OrangePowder · 30/05/2021 15:02

OK so imagine your best friend knew you'd got your eye on a dress but hadn't got round to buying it yet. Then add in a few teenage hormones.

BirthdayCakeBelly · 30/05/2021 15:24

YANBU.

LeafBeetle · 30/05/2021 15:28

This is spoilt behaviour but don't panic, it's within the range of normal for a young teen (I assume he's 13 or 14?). A strop over trainers is the teen equivalent of a 3yo throwing a tantrum - bad behaviour but most of them do it at some point! Just explain calmly and firmly all the things you've said in your OP and move on.

Landedmydreamjob · 30/05/2021 15:28

You’ve bought the trainers he wants.

He can’t buy them now because his mum has them and that is just a pure affronting reddner to a teen.

Effectively means he can’t have them

You may be young but you’re still his mum and he’s pissed off.

None of that excises his behaviour though

WowIlikereallyhateyou · 30/05/2021 15:30

Yanbu, tell him to buy his own!

Teessider · 30/05/2021 15:31

I wouldn't have bought the trainers knowing he wanted them too. That seems a little odd to me.

The tantrum needs ignoring or cracking down on, depending on how you parent, but it seems strange to me that you'd purchase the very trainers your teenager wants too. Almost asking for a fall out I suppose

HopeYourHighHorseBucks · 30/05/2021 15:32

He behaved like a brat but I wouldn't ruin the rest of your evening. Teenagers can be arseholes, he probably thinks you did it on purpose (the world revolves around them dont ya know) add a bit of jealousy that u went and got them. Tell him his behaviour was childish, not to behave like that again or you will buy the whole of JD, hel probably be feeling embarrassed anyway.

That's only if this a one off reaction, if he is like this usually then you have a bigger problem.

Melitza · 30/05/2021 15:32

He's at that self absorbed, easily embarrassed age.
He'll get over it. Ignore him

ApolloandDaphne · 30/05/2021 15:33

It is spoilt brattish behaviour but sometimes teenagers have emotional outbursts about the most random things and in the grand scheme of things isn't too worrying.

Landedmydreamjob · 30/05/2021 15:35

He will be worried that his mates will take the piss out of him now you have the in brand trainers.

I remember DS telling me not to turn up to pick him up from school in denim shorts or a mini skirt because it was embarrassing. The same reason I didn’t get converse when DD1 was a teen. Because your mum in the trendy in brand clothes is mortifying for a teen.

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