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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Aibu or is my teen behaving spoilt?

59 replies

Teendrama · 30/05/2021 14:27

I've had my eye on some trainers for about a year. My teenage ds had recently started mentioning that he liked these trainers too (I'm a youngish mum).

Ds hadn't actually asked for the trainers just mentioned that he really liked the style.

This morning at the shops with dh, on a whim I've treated myself to the trainers for the Summer.

Got home, ds asked what was in the bag. Ds has thrown a huge strop, crying, slammed his games controller, told me I'm taking the piss.

I'm pretty upset and taken aback at his behaviour. He's never gone without anything, no one in this house goes without nice things, we are extremely lucky. He's recently had a very nice birthday present. We've got loads of lovely activities booked in as a family.

He's got lots of nice clothes and trainers of his own that he chose himself. But obviously with growing feet he can't just always have the exact branded trainers every time he wants them. He's got his own birthday money too.

I try not to spoil the dc but they certainly don't go without.

We were taking the dc out this evening and I don't even feel like going now.

OP posts:
HumunaHey · 30/05/2021 19:23

@Hankunamatata

Did he know you had your eye on same trainers? I can imagine he would be upset if he hadnt known you wanted them, then he told you specially he like them then you went and brought them yourself.
Read the OP.
jesusmaryjosephandtheweedonkey · 30/05/2021 19:24

He would be getting nothing for a long while off that entitled shitty attitude

HumunaHey · 30/05/2021 19:25

@sweeneytoddsrazor

Or look at it from a different point of view. How many of you would even as a grown up fully functioning adult want to go out in the exact same trainers as your own mother.
Well then he doesn't need to get those particular trainers. OP saw tgem, said she liked them and bought them first.
Brefugee · 30/05/2021 19:28

he's being a bit ridiculous, but hopefully by the time he gets round to getting his next pair he'll have his eye on a different pair of trainers.

The same reason I didn’t get converse when DD1 was a teen. Because your mum in the trendy in brand clothes is mortifying for a teen.

haha NO! I've been wearing Chucks since i was a young kid, and just because my teenagers wore them i saw no reason to stop. Chucks in summer, Docs in winter. As do my teens - it didn't bother them one jot that the entire family practically lives in Docs these days.

DaisyFeather · 30/05/2021 19:31

Was it mixed in with disappointment because he’d assumed you’d got them for him as he clocked the bag?

I think it’s a mix of hormones and teenage entitlement.

Enjoy your shoes.

TwoAndAnOnion · 30/05/2021 19:33

@Branleuse

Tell him to fuck off, that its your money and if you want to treat yourself to new trainers then its none of his business. You might be his mum but youre still a person in your own right with likes, dislikes, tastes amd dreams. Not just personal enabler and treater of your children
Amusing... Imagine if ....

Parent tells child to FO
Other parent comes to MN to repeat this

All of MN say the partner is a piece of scum with no respect for child and needs to be kicked to the curb irrespective of back story because grown-up never swear at another person and if they do they are the manifestation of satan

pollylocketpickedapocket · 30/05/2021 19:37

@Teessider

I wouldn't have bought the trainers knowing he wanted them too. That seems a little odd to me.

The tantrum needs ignoring or cracking down on, depending on how you parent, but it seems strange to me that you'd purchase the very trainers your teenager wants too. Almost asking for a fall out I suppose

I agree, very strange dynamics.
Lanique · 30/05/2021 21:10

My dds and I all wear Airforce Ones. They don't seem too bothered, especially as they get my cast-offs. Grin
I can understand a child NOT wanting to wear the same clothes or shoes as their parents though!

Teendrama · 30/05/2021 21:16

Ds has since calmed down and apologised.

Just to answer a few questions.

The issue wasn't that we'd potentially have the same trainers. Or that I'm too old for the trainers (I'm not) It was because I'd bought them for myself.

Just to be clear. I'd had my eye on these particular, very common, trainers since before covid happened, Ds knew this, I was waiting until mine were worn out and also hoping they'd go eventually on sale. I actually first tried them on when out shopping pre Covid buying him a completely different pair (of his choice). I've mentioned buying some several times before he'd ever shown any interest.

Ds has only mentioned liking these trainers in the last couple of weeks. He hadn't asked for them and doesn't actually need new trainers at the moment. But it isn't as though he was never going to be able to have them, ever.

As I said he does not go without nice things of his own and hasn't recently had quite a bit of money spent on him.

OP posts:
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