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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Rude hairdresser

69 replies

Hello242 · 29/05/2021 19:07

Not a huge deal really but I’m a bit annoyed I was as usual really polite and meek at someone who was obvious very rude.

The hairdresser is generally quite judgemental about others and everything in general but I keep going to her as it’s a small place and I kind of feel obligated like I should be going and I feel a little sorry for her. I also feel guilty incase I bump into her one day after having been to another salon! I know I’m totally weird but this is another topic for another time

Last time I went she was very judgemental about a topic (nothing controversial AT ALL). So this time when she asked my opinion about that topic I gave the reverse response of last time (so agreeing with her) and she started laying into me! Like totally crazy last time she was against it and this time when I also was against it she was for it!

I was just standing there like an idiot (happened at the end as I was paying). She was like shouting and was really rude. I just stood there and then agreed with her to make her just stop. I was just wanting to get out of there and go home. I thanked for for a lovely service and said see you soon and have a lovely bank holiday.

How would you have reacted if you weren’t a quiet little mouse like me! Should I have shouted back or was I right to just walk away and be polite.

OP posts:

VettiyaIruken · 29/05/2021 19:11

I'd stop bloody going to her. That's how I'd have reacted. Made that appt the last time I set foot in her salon.

Seriously, it's daft that you feel you owe some random rude person your money!

User629202 · 29/05/2021 19:12

Life’s too short to engage in shouting matches with lunatics. Politely pay and leave, and then for God’s sake find a different salon.

Ughmaybenot · 29/05/2021 19:12

I absolutely wouldn’t have started shouting back and lowered myself to that level but I would’ve cut that little scene very short and would never go back to her again.

redcarbluecar · 29/05/2021 19:13

Wouldn’t go to her again- couldn’t be doing with that!

Thelnebriati · 29/05/2021 19:14

She sounds like a bully. Do yourself a favour and find somewhere else.

HopeYourHighHorseBucks · 29/05/2021 19:15

She was rude and you should not go back.

You're looking at it wrong, you are not obligated to give her your service, shes obligated to treat her customers with respect, if she doesn't give enough of a shit then why should you?

WisestIsShe · 29/05/2021 19:15

I would vote with my feet (and money) and not go back again! Usually when I disagree with someone who isn't important to me I just nod and smile. Life's too short to argue with a fool.

Shoxfordian · 29/05/2021 19:20

I wouldn’t go to her again after the first time she was judgemental and rude

Yabu for carrying on going when you know what she’s like

Theunamedcat · 29/05/2021 19:22

I would have cut her off asking if she wanted the money or not then been so mortified and embarrassed at my attitude I would never return

covetingthepreciousthings · 29/05/2021 19:24

is it her salon or does she just work there? If the latter, I think I'd actually write to the salon owner and explain the situation as she was really rude and will lose customers for behaving like that. I also wouldn't go back.

Peach01 · 29/05/2021 19:24

Don't go back. I wouldn't pay the money for such a negative experience.
I've felt that loyalty towards hairdressers but once you've stopped going for a while you don't really care.

Original poster

Hello242 · 29/05/2021 19:28

Thank you everyone. Yes I do feel loyalty towards her. I think I’m unsure of my feelings as I think she’s a little “simple” (sorry can’t think of a better word). That’s why I even feel bad being angry towards her. I don’t think she thinks before she speaks. I think I’ve been going all these years out of pity because she doesn’t really do a good job.

I wish I didn’t feel guilt all the time as I know I would advise a friend to do the same and never go again

OP posts:

Faranth · 29/05/2021 19:29

What I would have done is probably exactly what you did. (yes I have issues, including diagnosed anxiety)

What I would have wished I'd done is either said 'oh, i've never really thought about it. Isn't it lovely the weather has improved' and avoided the whole situation. Or. Interrupted her mid tirade with a firm 'That's quite enough! I shan't be spoken to like that and I'll cancel my ongoing appointments now. Thank you.' Swish of newly cut hair - because that always feels very satisfying, even when not is a state of high dudgeon - and march out.

Then I would go home, stew on how whichever I did, the other would have been better, and irritate myself to high heaven.

VettiyaIruken · 29/05/2021 19:31

So you hand over your hard earned money so a person who talks to you like you're shit can do a piss poor job of your hair?
You literally go about your days with a bad haircut because you feel you owe an unpleasant, crap hairdresser your money?

Original poster

Hello242 · 29/05/2021 19:33

@VettiyaIruken I was wondering how long till nasty comments came our! No actually I meant by my comment that’s it’s not amazing. She obviously does a good enough job but I maybe used wrong words. What I meant was I’m sure I can find a better salon elsewhere and it won’t affect my hair quality whatsoever

OP posts:

VenusTiger · 29/05/2021 19:34

Make this simple on yourself OP - stop going to her and if you do bump into her in the street, turn the other cheek and walk away - you realise there's a good chance she'll work out why you've stopped going to her. It might help her to stop being such a rude bitch to her PAYING clients.

You owe her NOTHING - you PAY her to cut your hair - stop going there OP.

Melitza · 29/05/2021 19:36

Don’t go back and if you see her in the street and she mentions that you haven’t been then tell her that she was so incredibly rude to you last time you prefer to go elsewhere.

Original poster

Hello242 · 29/05/2021 19:36

@Faranth you sound exactly like me! I bet if I had shouted back I would still have come on here and mortified on how I reacted

OP posts:

CoffeeCakey · 29/05/2021 19:36

Go somewhere else.

Original poster

Hello242 · 29/05/2021 19:37

Thank you ladies. I feel better about my decision not to ever go there again and I’m glad I didn’t shout back.

How should I react if in future I bump into her and she asks why I haven’t been?

OP posts:

CompleteBarstool · 29/05/2021 19:39

Don't give her your money.

Go to someone who appreciates and respects her clients...there are plenty out there who do.

Voomster953 · 29/05/2021 19:41

You need to toughen up. And figure out why you’re so desperate to please people. Changing your opinion to please her is madness.

NinaMimi · 29/05/2021 19:41

I’m quite shy and don’t stick up for myself enough but I really don’t understand why you think you owe her your business. You said she was “simple” so is she really going to be wondering where you are etc. And also you shouldn’t care.

VettiyaIruken · 29/05/2021 19:42

Hardly nasty. You are literally paying someone to be rude to you and who you said doesn't do a good job. It's not being nasty to you to recap that with the point being that you don't owe her your money or your guilt.

VenusTiger · 29/05/2021 19:43

I've already suggested what you do OP - you owe her NOTHING - she's not a friend, she's your bloody hair dresser - why would you give her the opportunity to stop you and ask you a question?
If she physically corners you (doubtful) just tell her you don't like being lectured to when you're at the salon trying to have a relaxing time.

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