Rude hairdresser

[Hello242]

Not a huge deal really but I’m a bit annoyed I was as usual really polite and meek at someone who was obvious very rude.

The hairdresser is generally quite judgemental about others and everything in general but I keep going to her as it’s a small place and I kind of feel obligated like I should be going and I feel a little sorry for her. I also feel guilty incase I bump into her one day after having been to another salon! I know I’m totally weird but this is another topic for another time

Last time I went she was very judgemental about a topic (nothing controversial AT ALL). So this time when she asked my opinion about that topic I gave the reverse response of last time (so agreeing with her) and she started laying into me! Like totally crazy last time she was against it and this time when I also was against it she was for it!

I was just standing there like an idiot (happened at the end as I was paying). She was like shouting and was really rude. I just stood there and then agreed with her to make her just stop. I was just wanting to get out of there and go home. I thanked for for a lovely service and said see you soon and have a lovely bank holiday.

How would you have reacted if you weren’t a quiet little mouse like me! Should I have shouted back or was I right to just walk away and be polite.

You could just say you felt a bit awkward going back after last time? Or say you go with a friend somewhere else now? She shouldn't confront you though I'd have thought?

[quote Hello242]@VettiyaIruken I was wondering how long till nasty comments came our! No actually I meant by my comment that’s it’s not amazing. She obviously does a good enough job but I maybe used wrong words. What I meant was I’m sure I can find a better salon elsewhere and it won’t affect my hair quality whatsoever[/quote]
I don't see how that was a nasty comment. You yourself said she doesn't do a very good job. Factually:

• she's rude to you
• you feel weirdly obligated to keep going to her
• she doesn't do a very good job

There's two things at play here: stop being somewhat of a pushover and go to a different hairdresser.

@VettiyaIruken yeah I see where u coming from !

Thank you all. 100% agree I need to stop being a pushover.

Don’t go back. I had a hairdresser who started yapping at me about how much her brother’s girlfriend hated me (I taught the brother’s girlfriend). The entire salon could hear. I stopped responding, paid up (no tip!) and starting going somewhere else. (Full of ex-students, but these ones are either genuinely pleased to see me or are just very polite). I’m also now of an age where I’m not bothered about making three hours’ of polite chitchat with a virtual stranger - as soon as I get in the chair, I open my book, say (politely!) that as I never have any time to myself I’m just going to read, stick my nose in my book and that’s that. You are the customer and should be treated politely - she’s not doing you a favour by cutting your hair, you are paying her!

[quote Hello242]@VettiyaIruken I was wondering how long till nasty comments came our! No actually I meant by my comment that’s it’s not amazing. She obviously does a good enough job but I maybe used wrong words. What I meant was I’m sure I can find a better salon elsewhere and it won’t affect my hair quality whatsoever[/quote]
This wasn't nasty at all. Tbh it's made me re-evaluate your OP and wonder if you're easily offended/misread situations.

FWIW the worst thing is that you gave an opinion you didn't actually believe in to appease someone. That doesn't just lack confidence; lacks integrity too. Say nothing if you must but don't say things you don't agree with.

I left a hairdresser I’d been loyal to for years after he was rude to me. it was hard but I spend a lot of money every year on my hair as I’d imagine a lot of women do, and you shouldn’t be spending it in a place you’re unhappy with not to a person who doesn’t even value your custom

My ex hairdresser actually messaged me ok Facebook asking why I’d not been back a few months later (and we were never Facebook friends) I just said that a friend had started hairdressing and asked to do mine. Never heard from him again. His salon shut not long after so I’d imagine lots of people voted with their feet.

@Hello242

Thank you everyone. Yes I do feel loyalty towards her. I think I’m unsure of my feelings as I think she’s a little “simple” (sorry can’t think of a better word). That’s why I even feel bad being angry towards her. I don’t think she thinks before she speaks. I think I’ve been going all these years out of pity because she doesn’t really do a good job.

I wish I didn’t feel guilt all the time as I know I would advise a friend to do the same and never go again

A little simple

Out of the millions of words available you couldn't think of a better one.

@Lipz no obviously I couldn’t

Seeing as she isn’t a talented hairdresser I would be out of there never to return. A cracking hairdresser, now that’s a different story. I would have let Saddam Hussein do my highlights if he was talented enough.

Dont go back

I think she’s a little “simple” (sorry can’t think of a better word).

Really? Couldn't think of a better description AT ALL???

Well she can’t be full of intelligence if she shouts at paying customers can she .

Don’t go back and if she asks just tell her she was rude and made you feel uncomfortable

How would you have reacted if you weren’t a quite little mouse like me

I am not a quiet little mouse, I can be quite direct when I want to be. But I am really not interested in debating when I go to the hairdressers. I would have not done anything really, I’d have shrugged it off and gone on my way. But I wouldn’t be going back.

Oh, first time poster - surprise surprise.

What is it OP, are you waiting for someone to come on and say "could she be autistic?" That certainly seems to be the pattern these days 🙄🙄

Ignore the stupid comments on here.
I'm was like you and felt guilty about things and kept handing money over.
However, you shouldn't be ruminating over what was said or not , after having your hair done.

Try and find another salon. You shouldn't be made to feel that you need to go on to MN to justify yourself.
Another salon and ignore.

Tbh after you misread completely what a pp said and then referred to the hairdresser as "simple" -I'm starting to wonder if the situation you described played out exactly the way you're saying.
Started full on screaming in the middle of the salon did she? Are you sure you're just not a tad over sensitive and have dramatised it a tad?
If she keeps yelling at people she wouldn't have a business at all, surely

@DumplingsAndStew here’s a few words for simple for you!

Unintelligent
Naive
Dull

Add done more if you can...let’s turn this post into a thesaurus lol!

@DumplingsAndStew

Oh, first time poster - surprise surprise.

What is it OP, are you waiting for someone to come on and say "could she be autistic?" That certainly seems to be the pattern these days 🙄🙄

I never get this comment. What's the issue with being a first time poster? What's considered acceptable for first time posters to post?

@wildeverose yeah sure I imagined it all. That’s why I’m feeling guilty about not returning. Thank you for clearing this up

Thank you everyone I’m not reading any more posts I got what I needed.

@Staffy1

Saturday night is prime trolling time as Mumsnet tend to check out for the weekend and leave it for the unpaid volunteers to deal with.

A first time poster who comes on and describes someone, another human being, as "simple".

It's not hard to put two and two together.

Oh my god! Seriously I had to respond before logging off. First English is not my first language it’s actually my third.

I’m not going to steep to your level so please “educate” me on what’s a better word for the following person lists - talks very loud, argues with everyone, makes comments - judgmental about everyone and everything, tells you family secrets, tells you secrets about customers, tells you really personal details about her life abs her daughters life?

As someone who has run and owned salons, find a hairdresser who makes you feel amazing in all aspects! You should be leaving feeling lifted.

But it’s not actually that uncommon to stick with a hairdresser for reasons other than them doing a good job. I’ve heard many stories of why people have put up with unenjoyable experiences for years, not feeling should branch out and try elsewhere. Life’s too short! Get some recommendations.

I changed salon last year in similar situation. She was ok at doing my hair (used to be good) but she was really rude to other customers in the shop on several occasions and once bizarrely forgot to cut my mum's hair and my mum didn't point it out at the time because hairdresser was clearly v stressed and she didn't want to antagonise her!
We both changed (managed to use covid as an excuse like the cowards we are!) and haven't regretted it.
She obviously knows we are going somewhere else but hasn't been in touch to ask why or where. I was ridiculously worried about going somewhere else and now it seems like a fuss over nothing. I suppose after going to the same person for years it seemed like a break-up of sorts.