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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think you RSVP to a party invitation quickly?

77 replies

IanHBuckells · 29/05/2021 13:46

DD's birthday party is 26th June. Handed 15 invitations out at school on Tuesday- only 1 RSVP so far.

The venue needs confirmation of numbers - and a minimum of 10 kids- by 12th June so thought I'd left loads of time to then invite a few of the reserve list of more than 5 couldn't make it that sounds mean but we couldn't afford 20 to come if we invited all at once and everyone said yes!

...now I'm wondering if I'm unique in RSVP'ing as soon as I pull the invitation out of the school bag; we're either free or we're not or we just don't want to go.--

AIBU to ask how quickly you respond to a kids party invitation? --

OP posts:
GeorgieTheGorgeousGoat · 29/05/2021 13:49

Did you give a date to RSVP by?

Pinkflipflop85 · 29/05/2021 13:50

If you haven't given a date to RSVP by then YABU.

PurpleDaisies · 29/05/2021 13:51

It’s ages away. yabu.

Kendodd · 29/05/2021 13:51

Yanbu
But people don't respond quickly or at all. It's just rude imo.

sunshineandshowers40 · 29/05/2021 13:51

Did you give a RSVP date? I would probably reply within a week but as it's an end of June date and we are still in May it wouldn't be at the top of my To Do List.

flowery · 29/05/2021 13:52

26 June seems ages away. Did you give people a deadline?

My record was last week- DH found an invitation in DS2’s bag (11yo) at 10.15pm for a party 13 hours later. I texted the mum and she was totally fine.

Different for you if you handed them to the parent though.

TwoAndAnOnion · 29/05/2021 13:53

You need to put an RSVP date on the invitation.

BerriesAndLeaves · 29/05/2021 13:55

When it got to near the time I used to start sending texts to ask if people were coming so I knew how much food/party bags etc to provide. This was before whatsapp and Facebook groups etc

IdoIdoIdoOoh · 29/05/2021 13:57

I sent out invites on a Monday for a party 3 Saturdays away (so almost 4 weeks notice), due to number restrictions I asked for a reply asap.
Still waiting on 3 replies and the party is next week.
I just find it rude tbh and I don't know if they're coming or not so couldn't invite anyone else in case they did show up and now need to prepare for them showing up anyway.
Because of work I hardly see people at drop off and pick up and I'm not going out of my way to ask them.
I think you still have some time for leeway on your invites but agree that people should rsvp at the earliest opportunity, you know if you have plans or not that day and if you don't then the party becomes your plans.

Original poster
IanHBuckells · 29/05/2021 13:57

@flowery

26 June seems ages away. Did you give people a deadline?

My record was last week- DH found an invitation in DS2’s bag (11yo) at 10.15pm for a party 13 hours later. I texted the mum and she was totally fine.

Different for you if you handed them to the parent though.

Blush oh my god, I know I would absolutely not be fine with this Grin
OP posts:
nosyupnorth · 29/05/2021 14:03

If you only handed them out on Tuesday I think you're a bit premature in being inpatient, it hasn't even been a full week yet! Perhaps they need to check their diary or work out the logistics of getting there or whatever and that's the sort of thing they do on a weekend. And if you handed them to kids they might well be shoved in the bottom of bookbags that don't get emptied out daily.

Thingsthatgo · 29/05/2021 14:04

My DD came home with lots of party invitations this week. She wants to attend them all. It is taking a while to work out the logistics of getting her to and from the parties because I am at work when they are on.
She is 6, and not one of the invitations state whether they expect parents to stay or not (why don’t people just write it on the invitation??).

AnneLovesGilbert · 29/05/2021 14:05

Did you give an RSVP date or not?

Rosebel · 29/05/2021 14:10

I always used to reply straight away. It annoys me soooo much when people don't bother, especially as I always put an RSVP date on the invite.
My two eldest are past the party stage thankfully and my youngest is too young at the moment. Found it really stressful when people didn't reply.

donquixotedelamancha · 29/05/2021 14:11

If they haven't RSVPed by the date they aren't coming. If you haven't put a date YABVU to expect them to RSVP within a few days for a party in a month.

TeenMinusTests · 29/05/2021 14:20

I think you have
a) sent invites out too early, though if you have to give numbers by 12 June I accept that after half term would be too late
b) messed up if you didn't give an RSVP date

This year especially I'd probably be waiting until after half term to reply to an invite for 26th June depending on how the virus is going along by then.

Geordieoldgirl · 29/05/2021 14:34

I think YADNBU. When my children got a party invitation I would always check the diary and reply straight away. But in my experience other people take much longer to respond (and some don’t respond at all). It used to really get on my nerves.

newnortherner111 · 29/05/2021 14:37

Understand you being disappointed but some people just don't do quick replies to anything. I'm sure many of us have worked with such people.

grapewine · 29/05/2021 14:40

Yeah, it depends if you've given a date to RSVP by.

The party date is ages away. I don't usually reply within a week of receiving an invitation. I've been known to reply on the RSVP date, to be honest.

Original poster
IanHBuckells · 29/05/2021 15:12

@AnneLovesGilbert

Did you give an RSVP date or not?
Nope, I have three kids - this is my youngest and have never put a rsvp date on an invitation!
OP posts:
MasterBeth · 29/05/2021 15:14

It’s a bit silly to expect everyone to behave like you would behave. If you need replies by a certain date, why wouldn’t you ask people to reply by that date?

Plumbear2 · 29/05/2021 15:17

Yes you need to have given an rsvp. At tbe moment I wouldn't be committing myself to something on 26th June, cases are rising.

flowery · 29/05/2021 15:18

”oh my god, I know I would absolutely not be fine with this”

Grin I very much gave her the option to say no, and that would have been perfectly acceptable. Seems DS2 and birthday girl had organised between them that he’d be going but just hadn’t thought to mention it to parents. Not sure how Ds2 thought he was going to get there... 🙄

Plumbear2 · 29/05/2021 15:19

If you need people to rsvp by a certain date you need to tell them. They are not mind readers.

AnneLovesGilbert · 29/05/2021 15:27

Fair enough. But these aren’t normal times.