To think you RSVP to a party invitation quickly?

[IanHBuckells]

DD's birthday party is 26th June. Handed 15 invitations out at school on Tuesday- only 1 RSVP so far.

The venue needs confirmation of numbers - and a minimum of 10 kids- by 12th June so thought I'd left loads of time to then invite a few of the reserve list of more than 5 couldn't make it that sounds mean but we couldn't afford 20 to come if we invited all at once and everyone said yes!

...now I'm wondering if I'm unique in RSVP'ing as soon as I pull the invitation out of the school bag; we're either free or we're not or we just don't want to go.--

AIBU to ask how quickly you respond to a kids party invitation? --

@Starlightstarbright1

I personally wouldn't rsvp that far away currently.. I am currently catching up with family, friends and might prioratise a close friend but not just someone in his class.

Its also a but of a weird date in the sense we really don't know what restrictions will be in place by then.

My ds is a teen so not an issue I have to deal with but I would say previously much more able to plan.

Then surely you rsvp saying that you can't make it (if you are prioritising seeing others)?

Op, I think you should have set an rsvp date too. Unfortunately now there's not much you can do but reach out to everyone again and say you forgot the rsvp date. Personally I'd have replied relatively quickly but to be fair it hasn't even been a week yet

If people are at work they may only do the replies at the weekend.

Also if parents are separated then it may not be up to the parent who got the invite to reply.

I usually see if it’s possible (usually not, I work weekends and my oldest 6 is autistic and sensitive to noise), ask the teacher for assistance to point out what child and parent then introduce myself to said parent and tell them personally we can’t make it and hand them a birthday gift for their child or ask the teacher if they could pass the gift on with a note. I’m uncomfortable talking on the phone and guess that said parents are getting bombarded by text messages so find this way easier.

Yes, I would personally, but many don't / won't. Also, if it's a few weeks in the future it can be hard for parents to be fully certain on schedules.

“Nearly all the people shit at responding were the worst at complaining when it happened in reverse. Essentially it's down to being self absorbed and only bothered about being inconvenienced when it's happening to you”

Eurgh so true hate these people.

Even if you put an rsvp some people don’t bother to reply half the time either but I still put one. Usually get one reply the day they go out ( which is what i do if I can so I don’t forget!) otherwise will be a flurry the week before. Kids party etiquette is just shocking I’m glad my time of hosting them all is nearly over.

No point chasing up either as people might just give you a flakey answer anyway. Yanbu to be annoyed though it’s irritating when you want to organise things

You might find some RSVPs come in next week. Here, we've all been clawing our way to end of half term, totally incapable of managing anything other than absolute necessities for the next day. Your invitation would be on my to do list for Tuesday - in the half term break and after Bank Holiday Monday meet ups, when there's more time to breathe.

Definitely not too soon. My kids have a party the the diary each weekend in June. I wouldn’t be free unless I had at least a month’s notice.

Just text them/corner at school and ask.

People are generally terrible at RSVPing.
And leave it as long as possible incase something better comes up!!
I'd text and ask 'are you able to attend the party? Let me know so I can book the right number in'.
Be direct, it's fine

@Blondeshavemorefun is that standard for 6 years olds? When my dS was 6 I had to stay around for most parties.. soft play ones particularly, and any that were in sports centres or community halls. Generally the only ‘drop and go’ parties were at peoples houses.

If there isn't an rsvp by date I would not have replied to a large or full class party until the week before. Normal where we are.

If you have a deadline you need to put an rsvp by date especially when the party is still nearly a month away.

As a nanny of 20yrs + so have done many parties of 6yr and yes most been drop off

Guess if in soft play etx they may have to stay for regulations

But yes I would expect to drop off and collect once been at school a year plus

Wouldn’t at reception and could be just 4yrs

Crikey, at least give people the weekend to empty school bags and sort themselves out with admin.

Some people might have other plans to juggle. FWIW, I think a month is quite short notice for a party.

And I would have put an RSVP date, you can't chase people if you don't give them a deadline!

[quote Thingsthatgo]@Blondeshavemorefun is that standard for 6 years olds? When my dS was 6 I had to stay around for most parties.. soft play ones particularly, and any that were in sports centres or community halls. Generally the only ‘drop and go’ parties were at peoples houses.[/quote]
Round here it’s usual to drop and go once they are in reception class.

I find with whatsapp invitations, on a whatsapp group created for the party, I get all the rsvps that same day. So much less hassle than the paper invitations.

Oh well you need to put an RSVP date on invites! But I sympathize, I recently had a thread on here as a number of parents just didnt respond. How hard is it to text and say sorry can't make it.

I'd leave it to last minute

As others have said YABU for not giving a date for RSVP.
I have an invite to a party on the 26th June and invite clearly states RSVP for the 10th of June. TBH if the invite I received didn't have a specific date for RSVP then I'd probably would leave it until a much later date than the 10th 🤷‍♀️

I wouldn’t want to commit to a birthday party 4 weeks out unless it was one of DCs best friends. With the end of lock down I think people may well be juggling their calendars with prior commitments that aren’t set in stone but which may take priority over a party.

YABU, next time put an RSVP date.

I’ve always replied to birthday party invitations immediately, do I know that it’s done so that I don’t forget to do it. But I do agree with PPs that it would have been better to include an RSVP date as that does concentrate the mind when receiving a party invitation.

I’m so jealous of all the drop and go parties! Parents around here seem to expect parents to stick around until 7 or 8 years old! I have just messaged back rsvps to three parties, and all three have asked parents to stay I’m going to get together with some other parents so we can share the parties between us.

How shitty to have a reserve list

@clpsmum

How shitty to have a reserve list

Why? If there are limited funds or number restrictions, then if someone can't go inviting an extra seems fine. Things do need to be done sensitively I agree but my DD would have been delighted to have an extra party to attend (she didn't get many invites, SEN).

No we don’t always respond straight away. I usually have to work out how to get the other kids to their activities etc and sort out lifts for them etc, speak to my husband to sort out use of the car etc.

If you need RSVPs by a certain date then you should have put an RSVP!