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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Neighbour kicking off about car

252 replies

Biancadelrioisback · 28/05/2021 13:57

My neighbour popped a note through the door yesterday asking if we can put both cars on the drive as they're having people round today for a BBQ and would like people to be able to park on the street.
Technically we can fit both cars on the drive way, but you can't get in the garage or shut the gates at the end of the drive, and the cars need to be bumper to bumper and will still overhang onto the path a bit (you can still fit a buggy and wheelchair past). So usually we have one on the drive and one on the street. Street has plenty of parking, no issues here, plus the car on the street gets used most days so is really only there overnight.
So DH went out to work this morning taking the car from the street. I've had neighbour round banging on the door reminding me to put both cars on the drive and pointing to a random car that is parked just a bit up from our house that I've never seen before. It's the same colour as ours but definitely not our car. Neighbour is accusing me of lying and being difficult. He is adamant it's my car and I'm being unfair.
He's gone off in a huff but I can hear them in their garden complaining and talking about coming back to talk with me again.
I'm not worried per se but I'm a bit...antsy? I can't really prove that it's not mine, plus it's legally parked so I really can't see a problem other than them not getting their way.

AIBU to not put the other car on the drive when DH gets home just to antagonise them?

OP posts:
itsgettingwierd · 28/05/2021 16:40

Just park your car where it safely fits as you usually do.

Don't do it to antagonise your neighbours or prove a point because it's creating a situation.

It's possible that there won't be space for your car on the street if his friends have already arrived and that's also fair enough.

WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll · 28/05/2021 16:40

YABU. People who run more than one car, and don't keep them on their own property (drive or garage) really can seem selfish. Cars take up so much of our finite resources of space & petrol etc - maybe for once, you could try not to?

They aren't people who run more than one car - OP and her DH are two adults and have one car each. As has been discussed at length on the other thread, plenty of houses contain several adults, who each need a car. Some people also need separate vehicles for their jobs, which aren't suitable/practical to double as family cars.

Would you call five unrelated adults in a HMO selfish, for each having a car to get to work and around in? If so, what if they were all wealthy and the same five people instead decided to live in five separate houses, each of them the same size as the one they currently share? Would that be not selfish and/or better for the environment?

WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll · 28/05/2021 16:50

Am I the only one hoping that he gets angry at you not moving the car that he insists is yours and so gets revenge 'on you' by attacking it - not causing damage but thinking smearing it with Marmite or letting down the tyres or something - and is caught in the act by the actual owner, who makes Mark Labbett look like a newborn baby?! Grin

Unless any/all of his guests have real mobility problems (in which case, he can always keep a place for them with his own car and move it when they arrive), what right does he think he has to play Lord Bountiful, by laying on convenient parking for his esteemed guests - but it's just the public highway?!

JackANackAnoreeee · 28/05/2021 16:59

WEll the decent thing to would be to park both on the driveif they've asked nicely but since your neighbour is being an arse about it I'd be less inclined to do what they ask.

picturesandpickles · 28/05/2021 16:59

How rude! I would just ignore and park where you normally park. he would get me to help if he was nice but I would ignore someone who was that rude.

MikeWozniaksGloriousTache · 28/05/2021 16:59

It’s easy for us to say sod them park where you like but if I were in your shoes I would park both cars on the drive. Neighbour disputes are just awful
The thing is with neighbours like this is, you give and inch and they’ll take a mile. It might just be this one time now, then the other ridiculous demands come in. It’s not as if OP had a huge drive and isn’t using it, two cars barely fit and they hang over the oath leaving them susceptible to damage. Parking on the road is legal and safer and entitled neighbour can do one. Sounds like his guests are already there too so surely doesn’t need the parking at this point. I’m sure his guests have legs too, they can easily park further away and walk.

JediGnot · 28/05/2021 17:03

@IntoAir

AIBU to not put the other car on the drive when DH gets home just to antagonise them?

YABU. People who run more than one car, and don't keep them on their own property (drive or garage) really can seem selfish. Cars take up so much of our finite resources of space & petrol etc - maybe for once, you could try not to?

What gives people who don't live on the street more of a right to block the street with their cars than the people who do live on the street?

A while back I had neighbours who were both "characters" on both sides. One (call him A) did not have a car and hated it when anyone parked their car in front of his house - despite the street being very busy he felt he had a right to a spare space 24/7 for the occasional time the son visited. The other neighbour (B) hated being told not to park where he was perfectly entitled to park.

B did stop parking his car in front of A's house - he left his car at work and parked a very large van there instead.

WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll · 28/05/2021 17:06

I agree with the above. Disputes are indeed best avoided if it means you've reached a compromise/agreement with which you're both happy; but if it just means one person always giving and the other always taking, it's not a solution. A dispute is usually two or more unhappy people, but it's not magically gone away if there's still one very unhappy person.

And, yes, once he has 'proved to you' that you can get both cars on your drive - however cramped or impractical - he'll be forever complaining at how 'selfish' you are when you park one on the road, as 'you have a drive that both cars fit perfectly well'.

EerieSilence · 28/05/2021 17:10

@Biancadelrioisback Don't apologise, don't engage.
Hear them drinking? How about you quietly note the registrations of the cars on the street and when you see them leaving, just call the police and report that a driver of the car with reg is driving under the influence.
Sod the "don't antagonise your neighbour". Why do people think someone should prove their neighbour the car outside isn't theirs?

WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll · 28/05/2021 17:10

What gives people who don't live on the street more of a right to block the street with their cars than the people who do live on the street?

Nobody has any right to block a street in a dangerous or illegal way, but if it's a safe, legal space, they both have equal rights. Cars are moving objects - their owners live in a fixed abode, but the cars themselves are not and cannot be registered to a specific piece of otherwise unallocated/permit-only road - just because its owner happens to live nearby and would like not to have to walk too far between it and their home.

toocold54 · 28/05/2021 17:14

If they asked you to move the car I’d 100% do it but now they’ve been twats I wouldn’t just because I’m petty lol.

I’d also be asking DH if he can to drive home ASAP so I can go and knock on their door and show them that it’s not your car.

BigHeadBertha · 28/05/2021 17:28

Please let us know how it goes, OP.

StoneofDestiny · 28/05/2021 17:30

Leave a note on the lookalike car with Mr Grumpy's address saying he wants to speak to him immediately about his parking on the street. 😂😂 then sit back with popcorn..........

user1471538283 · 28/05/2021 17:30

I would park on the street, maybe both cars. The day he owns the road he can tell you where to park.

The only house warming party I ever had I manage to squeeze two cars on my drive and everyone else asked people if they could park by their houses or caught taxis. No one insists that neighbours move their cars for someone else's visitors!

Summerdayshaze · 28/05/2021 17:31

I’d put both cars on the street. The fucking lunatic.

jagoda · 28/05/2021 17:34

If they are drinking I would be concerned about why they need all these parking spaces?

I agree DH should park wherever he likes when he gets back. Just ignore them.

HeronLanyon · 28/05/2021 17:35

I feel like we need a mn convoy to arrive on your street op and park for several days.
Meanwhile irl I would park second car over your driveway for the bbq or in your driveway. No way on earth would I stoop to petty tit for tat with a neighbour. Life is too short and disputes are soul destroying. He’s rude and unpleasant. Ignore.

Original poster
Biancadelrioisback · 28/05/2021 17:50

Well they've chucked a bunch of prosecco/champagne corks over the fence into my garden now so they can well and truly fuck off

OP posts:
Original poster
Biancadelrioisback · 28/05/2021 17:52

For reference, our street is virtually empty of cars most of the time. It's incredibly easy to get parked on the street without worry, which is why I found the request so bizarre in the first place.

OP posts:
Original poster
Biancadelrioisback · 28/05/2021 17:55

DH back and he's parked across the end of the drive.

Before anyone questions, we have lowered pavements in several places for safe crossing so access isn't inhibited for those in wheelchairs

OP posts:
Singlenotsingle · 28/05/2021 17:56

I bet they haven't even invited you to their sodding barbeque?

Cactusesi · 28/05/2021 17:57

Park on the drive.
Your neighbour is a tit, don't you be one too.

Sweettea1 · 28/05/2021 18:02

If he hadn't come hammering at the door then I would of put it on the drive for one day but given how rude he was I would now park in front of his house an pop a note through his door telling him the reason why I had now parked it there make him think twice in future.

TimeForTeaAndG · 28/05/2021 18:04

@Biancadelrioisback

Well they've chucked a bunch of prosecco/champagne corks over the fence into my garden now so they can well and truly fuck off
Post them back through their letterbox quietly.
KaptainKaveman · 28/05/2021 18:08

@Biancadelrioisback

Well they've chucked a bunch of prosecco/champagne corks over the fence into my garden now so they can well and truly fuck off
Just throw them back in.

They are complete arseholes Hmm

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