Anyone have a child with zero interests?

[IfIHaveToTellYouAgain]

DS (5 and a half) is really starting to concern me. He’s been this way since he was a baby so I put it down to age previously, but he’s getting no better as he gets older.
He has no interest in anything. Or, to put it a different way, he is interested in everything but can’t focus on anything for more than 5 minutes at a time.
Some examples:

1. He doesn’t really play. When he’s at home and unsupervised, he will tip out a box of toys, look at a few of them and then tip out another box of toys, and so on until I eventually tell him he needs to stop and tidy up. If he is supervised he wants me to run the play, so I have to make up the storylines or we play structured things like board games, which can hold his attention for a bit longer but only if he’s playing with me, not with his sister. If we play with play doh or Lego or something like that, he will just stack blocks/roll out and watch me make something then decide he wants to swap so he can have whatever I’ve made. Sometimes I allow this, sometimes I tell him he has to make his own, he just says no unless I do it step by step with him, then he can do it.
2. He can read (is very good at it) but will only do it if I’m with him.
3. He loves going out and doing things ie. park/farm/beach/play centres. I know he likes them because he gets excited about doing them and says he loves it. But...

At the park, he might go on the swing for 2 minutes and down the slide once then ask if it’s time to go home At the farm, he wants to see and do everything straight away, he will look at a few animals for a few seconds then he wants the tractor ride but halfway through the tractor ride he decides he doesn’t want to do that anymore, he wants to go on the mini diggers, but once he’s there he wants to try out the mini golf, he will try one hole and then he wants to go to the gift shop and is it time to go home now? 😩 I have tried making him continue with activities but he will just stand next to me showing no interest until it’s time to move on. The result of this is that we can’t drag a day out for longer than an hour or two! At the beach, he loves playing in the sand! It’s his favourite thing in the world! For 5 minutes... then it’s, is it time to go yet? Same with play centres.

1. After school activities...

He used to go to a theatre school, which he said he loved! But come show time, guess who just wanted to do his own thing and run around and not what the 10 other little angels on the stage were doing? So we pulled him out of that. Next was swimming lessons. He loves going swimming! Except after 5 minutes he was just floating about doing his own thing while the rest of the group learned to swim. So we pulled him out of that. Gymnastics... yeah! He loves it! Except I’ve just had a call from the teacher to say about halfway through he’s just asking where I am and doesn’t want to take part in anything so she doesn’t think it’s for him. So he won’t be going there any more. He doesn’t watch TV for longer than 5 minutes and if he goes on the iPad, same thing (his choice, I don’t set screen time limits or anything even though I would if he needed it). It’s the same in the garden, he can’t find anything to occupy his time. I’m completely exasperated. It’s not that I particularly want him out of the house or anything, I just want him to find something, anything! that he’s interested in or can focus on and not get bored. Left to his own devices in the house he just wanders, follows me about, helps with jobs etc. He has a sibling who is quite happy to play with him but he’s not that interested. School report that he is the same there. He’s a popular boy but shows no great interest in his friends, he will play with them for a bit but then just gets bored and moves on to someone else. He’s got a great and very active imagination, is always telling me about the outrageous dreams he’s had and can make up stories. He tells a LOT of tall tales about things that have happened at school (I mean, totally out there stuff that definitely didn’t happen 🤣) so he’s not lacking in that department, but then creative activities don’t really interest him at all. Is anyone else’s child like this? Every other child I’ve ever known is interested in something! Any suggestions as to what can I do with him?

Just me then 🤣

Sorry I don't have any advice but I have a child just the same as this. I do find it frustrating... Following to see if anyone has any ideas. But I've decided to accept this is just how she is and let her get on with it

People will no doubt suggest ADHD and overtiredness, do you think either of these could be a factor?

It sounds like he actually has lots of interests which is great but very little concentration which is a different thing. Being able to focus and concentrate is a skill that comes naturally to some children more than others but I agree that it might be worth looking into ADHD to see if that might be a factor.

@confuseddotcomma we believe he has 12 hours of sleep at night, he often falls asleep after school but has been tested for sleep apnoea and that was negative. Blood tests are all fine although he has been anaemia in the past 🤷‍♀️
He’s definitely a candidate for ADHD based on the description above but has none of the behaviour issues, he’s not particularly impulsive, so I don’t know!

*anaemic

My 6 year old DS can be like this. I’m always telling him to go and ‘get busy’ with something (I need to give suggestions) his preferred activity is following me round chatting nonsense and asking what sweets he can have. He will play computer games and occasionally get hyper focused on something though so I get some down time. At the moment he is reading a carpentry book so it’s often odd things he likes. I have long suspected he is ADHD. He doesn’t sit, talks non stops and is very bright.

Are you sure it’s not just because he’s 5 and has the attention span of a gnat?

there's different types of Adhd. To be honest doing his own thing after a few minutes in classes is classed as impulsive behaviour. His impulse is to stop what he's doing so he just stops.

I agree that is seems like concentration/perseverance seems to be more the issue than interest.

Does his sister choose activities and occupy herself well for decent periods of time?

Sounds like my eldest, who likely has ADHD traits ... consider private assessment as CAMHS waiting list is so long, shame it’s so underfunded. I would just read up on it and look into the assessment, I wouldn’t worry much about it though.

It sounds like he has a very short attention span. I wonder if also he's a child that doesn't really see the value in play? You say he follows you around helping with jobs, maybe he needs to do things that he sees has a purpose to ie helping make dinner, putting the washing in the washing machine etc perhaps you could have him doing jobs if that's what he's good at and enjoys. You say he tells you about his dreams and stories - what about getting him to record them or make videos or getting him to dictate to you and then making them into a book? Apart from that I'd give him a couple of years to meander along and see if he figures out what he likes and if not then try him again in some more structured activities.

I've always been like this and I have adhd. I'm rarely impulsive either. He could just have a terrible attention span and need help developing that in some way.

@SarahBellam I would say the same thing if I saw someone on the internet describing this but honestly, he’s not like other 5 year olds. I watch the other children in his class on the yard, at the park, in their activities, at birthday parties (we’ve managed to somehow attend 2 since lockdown eased!) and they are not like this. I know attention spans are still short at this age which is why until now I’ve kind of put it down to age, but I’m not sure I can ignore it much longer.

@seepingweeping you’re probably right there actually 😭

@CakesOfVersailles DD is younger than he is and extremely self motivated, she would quite happily play by herself all day if I let her, takes full part in all activities and can sit and watch a Disney movie

@Tal45 he is definitely more interested in doing those things but I don’t know whether that’s just because I’m doing them so he’s always being kept on track. I’m not sure he’d be interested if I left him to it 🤣

@Thatswatshesaid oh my God, the incessant chatter 🤣 you’ve hit the nail on the head! Do you have my son?!

Talk to his teacher, they'll have a better perspective of whether it's unusual for his age.

My daughter basically gave up playing when she cracked reading, literally overnight, and my son couldn't handle after school activities until he was into late junior school. I can't say your son sounds particularly like either of them, but I do think 5.5 is still very, very little. It can be hard to remember that when some friends are starting piano lessons, but I do think it's well within the normal range not to have the concentration for, say, drama lessons so young. Exhausting for you though! Maybe he'd enjoy having friends round rather than organised activities.

@canary1 he’s awaiting a psychological assessment but I actually thought he’d been getting a little bit better until the phonecall with the gymnastics teacher this morning which has me despairing!

My oldest enjoyed things but didn’t have a thing that was his enjoyment. Turns out his a computer lad, pc/Xbox/Nintendo if it’s coding or playing games or researching parts and what not for them.

He just needed to become old enough for it to be found. His also the shy one doesn’t want to be the centre of attention would rather be off in his own little world doing his thing. Took till secondary school to find his people so to speak.

@Singalongasong his teacher is very good and communicates well with me, they have no concerns about behaviour but he’s failed to achieve his early learning goal in listening and attention despite working at greater depth in reading and maths 😩
He’s not interested in friends, if I had them round he’d just leave them to crack on and play with DD while he went to do something else 🤣 he couldn’t care less if he has friends or not!

Not all children with ADHD have behavioural problems. Probably most don't.

It may still be his age it may be more, assuming if school are having him assessed then they have some concerns.

@Horst aw, your son sounds lovely! Tbh I could understand it if he was shy but he’s the complete opposite, chats to everyone and everything but if we’re in the park with his friends he would rather stand and chat to the adults than interact with the children. He will interact with them but he’s not particularly interested in what they’re doing or what they have to say. He’s more interested if they’ve got something he wants 🤣

@Newnamefor2021 school aren’t having him assessed, he was already in the system prior to starting school, so I’m not sure if it’s something they would be looking into if he wasn’t already on the list, or not

This sounds sadly like my dd. She's 11, in secondary and still the same. No diagnosis as school think she's fine (she's quite and reasonably well behaved). Lockdown learning was a nightmare as she has no focus. All she does is switch to YouTube (or any other video site she can find) instead on doing anything she's supposed to be doing.
Hope you find some answers.