Anyone have a child with zero interests?

[IfIHaveToTellYouAgain]

DS (5 and a half) is really starting to concern me. He’s been this way since he was a baby so I put it down to age previously, but he’s getting no better as he gets older.
He has no interest in anything. Or, to put it a different way, he is interested in everything but can’t focus on anything for more than 5 minutes at a time.
Some examples:

1. He doesn’t really play. When he’s at home and unsupervised, he will tip out a box of toys, look at a few of them and then tip out another box of toys, and so on until I eventually tell him he needs to stop and tidy up. If he is supervised he wants me to run the play, so I have to make up the storylines or we play structured things like board games, which can hold his attention for a bit longer but only if he’s playing with me, not with his sister. If we play with play doh or Lego or something like that, he will just stack blocks/roll out and watch me make something then decide he wants to swap so he can have whatever I’ve made. Sometimes I allow this, sometimes I tell him he has to make his own, he just says no unless I do it step by step with him, then he can do it.
2. He can read (is very good at it) but will only do it if I’m with him.
3. He loves going out and doing things ie. park/farm/beach/play centres. I know he likes them because he gets excited about doing them and says he loves it. But...

At the park, he might go on the swing for 2 minutes and down the slide once then ask if it’s time to go home At the farm, he wants to see and do everything straight away, he will look at a few animals for a few seconds then he wants the tractor ride but halfway through the tractor ride he decides he doesn’t want to do that anymore, he wants to go on the mini diggers, but once he’s there he wants to try out the mini golf, he will try one hole and then he wants to go to the gift shop and is it time to go home now? 😩 I have tried making him continue with activities but he will just stand next to me showing no interest until it’s time to move on. The result of this is that we can’t drag a day out for longer than an hour or two! At the beach, he loves playing in the sand! It’s his favourite thing in the world! For 5 minutes... then it’s, is it time to go yet? Same with play centres.

1. After school activities...

He used to go to a theatre school, which he said he loved! But come show time, guess who just wanted to do his own thing and run around and not what the 10 other little angels on the stage were doing? So we pulled him out of that. Next was swimming lessons. He loves going swimming! Except after 5 minutes he was just floating about doing his own thing while the rest of the group learned to swim. So we pulled him out of that. Gymnastics... yeah! He loves it! Except I’ve just had a call from the teacher to say about halfway through he’s just asking where I am and doesn’t want to take part in anything so she doesn’t think it’s for him. So he won’t be going there any more. He doesn’t watch TV for longer than 5 minutes and if he goes on the iPad, same thing (his choice, I don’t set screen time limits or anything even though I would if he needed it). It’s the same in the garden, he can’t find anything to occupy his time. I’m completely exasperated. It’s not that I particularly want him out of the house or anything, I just want him to find something, anything! that he’s interested in or can focus on and not get bored. Left to his own devices in the house he just wanders, follows me about, helps with jobs etc. He has a sibling who is quite happy to play with him but he’s not that interested. School report that he is the same there. He’s a popular boy but shows no great interest in his friends, he will play with them for a bit but then just gets bored and moves on to someone else. He’s got a great and very active imagination, is always telling me about the outrageous dreams he’s had and can make up stories. He tells a LOT of tall tales about things that have happened at school (I mean, totally out there stuff that definitely didn’t happen 🤣) so he’s not lacking in that department, but then creative activities don’t really interest him at all. Is anyone else’s child like this? Every other child I’ve ever known is interested in something! Any suggestions as to what can I do with him?

Some of the stuff sounds a lot like my dd. She's 7 tomorrow. We found out trough assessment that she's a highly sensitive child. That's means for her that she's always thinking and analysing things happening around meaning she loses focus on the thing she was actively doing. She gotten soooooo much better. When starting school last year she was sitting next to the wall with no peer next to her to give her brain a break and now no issues whatsoever. She still struggles a bit with focus sometimes but with guidance from us and her teachers it's gotten so much better.

He sounds like my son who has ADHD - no behavioural problems really, bit absolutely exhausting! He's got easier as he's got older, mainly because he now talks incessantly about things which are actually quite interesting - how axolotyls have been bread for different colouration for example. He never really played as such as a younger child, bit preferred to help with real jobs.

@IfIHaveToTellYouAgain

I guess it could be something more troubling, but to me he sounds lovely if a bit fickle
Sorry if my reply caused offence -I didn't mean it to, and can see why it must be a bit exasperating for you when he doesn't settle his mind to anything! Hopefully he just hasn't found his niche yet

He just sounds like a 5 year old to me.
Mine was like this.. completely different at 10

@Goodweatherforsnails

“ He’s not interested in friends”

“he would rather stand and chat to the adults than interact with the children”

This stands out to me as well as the inability to focus that you’ve mentioned. My child has ASD rather ADHD but I think it’s quite common for a neurodiverse child to prefer speaking to adults, who are often much more “lenient” with the rules of conversation, social norms etc than children can be. I hope his assessment sheds some light.

I thought the same. His disinterest in friends and imaginary role play games stood out to me. I’d concentrate more on getting to the root of this rather than why he’s bored of playing sports etc. Young children’s attention spans aren't great, but they’re usually excited to play.

That was me...adhd

@anappleadaykeeps thank you for the suggestions 😊 he does like Lego, but will only play with it if I’m with him, otherwise he just tips it all out then comes looking for me. If I send him back to play with it he just tidies it away 🙈
He doesn’t really watch TV all that much as he won’t focus on one thing for long enough, if he has the remote he just flicks constantly and drives his sister mad 🤣 if he doesn’t have the remote he’ll just wander off mid-programme. At a push he’ll watch full episodes of child documentaries like Tractor Ted but only if he’s been for a long walk and is too tired to do anything else.

@Anothermother3 he’s been under a paediatrician for various things since he was 18 months and awaiting psychological assessment. Yes, loses things a lot, if he is finished with something he will just drop it where he stands and move on, I’m forever telling him to pick things up! School say his belongings are often found scattered all over the cloakroom and classroom. He doesn’t really rush things, if anything he is very slow, so if I ask him to write anything he takes forever as he has to really think about what he’s doing. Makes a lot of mistakes though, but that could be unrelated as he does have motor delays. He is able to follow 2 step instructions but I have to make sure he’s looking at me before I tell him what to do, he struggles with this at school.
@Luxplus this does sound a lot like him. He knows a lot of things as he is always listening, just not to what he’s supposed to be doing! School say his knowledge is fantastic 🤣
@Waitingfirgodot your son sounds adorable 😊 I think this sounds a lot like DS
@eatsleepread no offence taken 😊 he is a lovely child! I obviously think he’s the best (I’m biased though!), I just want to know how to help him (if I even need to!)
@Oly4 you could well be right but he’s not anything like the other 5 year olds I know. If that’s all it is, great!
@CutieBear yes, that’s what I mean, all other 5 year olds I know like to go and do their own thing, play (or even just mess about, I wouldn’t mind... if he did something!)
@TheLastLotus thank you for your input, I think we might be heading that way. What helped you in the end?

It's tough OP. The problem with this age is that there's so much variation in development and temperement that while it could be something concerning it could also be something he suddenly grows out of and you forgot you ever worried about it.

Oh good I’m glad he’s under paeds. I’d definitely talk to them about concerns re attention and concentration but they will have a better idea of how other things could lead to a similar presentation. I’m sure he will improve in time but if you look at how to support executive functioning there’s a lot of info (hard to sift through I know). A lot of the time using visual reminders is helpful even for children who are otherwise able.

I only got diagnosed as an adult. As a child I never really sustained an interest in anything except reading (only after having only that to do for many hours) but as all i did was that , study and watch TV i managed to get good grades and nobody bothered.

As he is quite young it's hard to tell - you will have to wait until he is a bit older ad get him assessed.

If you are worried because he doesn't have a defined 'interest' that is advantageous when started young .. that's quite normal. Every other child you have known may not be interested in a 'thing', they just go to classes which their parents put them in

Just wanted to say that, while it does make sense to explore avenues like ADD, he sounds absolutely adorable and you sound like a fantastic Mum. He's in very good hands.

Also it is good that he is under assessment as with the right combination of medicine and therapy he will thrive. I am not medicated (for various reasons) but have put in place adjustments like strict schedules, I have 'dumping boxes' all ove the house to put stuff in as I have a tendency to chuck tihngs down, RFT tags on my important stuff etc, have had to learn how to concentrate..it is solvable, just makes life a bit more difficult.

this is a good resource : www.additudemag.com/

He's only 5...it's quite young to have a very specific interest and many 5 year olds still have short attention spans.
My youngest DC is also 5, nearly 6 - he just started karate which he likes but that's the first time he's showed any real interest or attention span for anything.