Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Mother in Law Bought me a new engagement ring

59 replies

Debbierocket123 · 28/05/2021 10:19

Last year I got engaged (horary!) and due to the lockdown situation I had a bit more time for exercise so have lost a fair bit of weight and now my engagement ring no longer fits. My fiance went to get it resized but never kept the receipt and now the ring has snapped completely where it was repaired. My mother in law bought me a replacement ring but to be honest I don't really like it, it's not the ring my fiance chose for me and it doesn't sit well with my wedding ring. She was so excited about getting this ring for me and I don't want to hurt her feelings but I really don't think she should have bought it. I wanted the ring my fiance chose for me. What can I say to her? I don't want to sound ungrateful. It was incredibly thoughtful of her.

OP posts:
Ninkanink · 28/05/2021 10:21

Wear it on your other hand.

Get your original ring fixed by another jeweller.

SprayedWithDettol · 28/05/2021 10:22

Good idea @Ninkanink

TaraR2020 · 28/05/2021 14:50

Oh how sweet :) Would share your dilemma though!

I'd wear it until you find the ring you like or repair your own and then switch it to the other hand. If you need an explanation for her explain that its important for you both that your engagement ring be from your OH and between the both of you but you shall treasure her gift always and it means such a lot as a symbol of your friendship etc.

FuckyouCovid21 · 28/05/2021 15:31

@TaraR2020

Oh how sweet :) Would share your dilemma though!

I'd wear it until you find the ring you like or repair your own and then switch it to the other hand. If you need an explanation for her explain that its important for you both that your engagement ring be from your OH and between the both of you but you shall treasure her gift always and it means such a lot as a symbol of your friendship etc.

Sweet? It's bloody weird.

What has your DP said about it?

littlepattilou · 28/05/2021 15:33

That is very odd. YANBU.

Tell your fiance to get you another one, and wear your MIL's on your other hand.

MaggieFS · 28/05/2021 15:37

How odd! Definitely get your old one repaired or replaced with DH and pop hers on the other hand. Even if only when you see her.

CoffeeCakey · 28/05/2021 15:38

Bit weird of her to do that without asking really. But yes I'd keep it for when you see her or on your other hand.

AryaStarkWolf · 28/05/2021 15:39

It is a bit odd for her to buy an engagement ring for you but I'm sure it came from a good place. Surely though your DH would have a payment record from when and where he bought it that the jewelers would accept?

Twistered · 28/05/2021 15:39

Ah I think that's so lovely of her!
Can you tell her you're going to wear hers on your other hand as you really really like your original one and are going to get it repaired?

fallfallfall · 28/05/2021 15:42

Which stone is bigger? Take the biggest stone and get it into the remade original band (or band of your choosing).
It’s definitely a bit of an odd thing to do.

Serpenta · 28/05/2021 15:44

Kind...

but weird.

She'll definitely be coming on honeymoon with you both, telling you how best and how often to pleasure her son.

AngelDelightUk · 28/05/2021 15:45

She was probably just trying to help with the expense of the wedding. What’s your H2B said?

I imagine it would majorly offend her if you didn’t wear it.

anothernewtop · 28/05/2021 15:46

I would have said something, like thanks but its my engagement ring.

Start as you mean to go on. This is weird behaviour from her and I would take it as an indicator of how she will be in the future.

You should assert yourself now.

Holly60 · 28/05/2021 15:48

@fallfallfall

Which stone is bigger? Take the biggest stone and get it into the remade original band (or band of your choosing). It’s definitely a bit of an odd thing to do.
this would be an odd thing to do too! Just wear it on the other hand.
Holly60 · 28/05/2021 15:49

@anothernewtop

I would have said something, like thanks but its my engagement ring.

Start as you mean to go on. This is weird behaviour from her and I would take it as an indicator of how she will be in the future.

You should assert yourself now.

What, generous but slightly misguided? Sounds like a harridan from hell Hmm
FuckyouCovid21 · 28/05/2021 15:51

@AngelDelightUk

She was probably just trying to help with the expense of the wedding. What’s your H2B said?

I imagine it would majorly offend her if you didn’t wear it.

She totally overstepped the mark buying the ring in the first place, it's just a personal thing that OP hasn't had any say in whatsoever. I certainly wouldn't be thanking her or offering to wear it on another finger/hand.

I'd just tell her it's not to your taste and you were really looking forward to picking one with your DP, and can she please return it

Fitforforty · 28/05/2021 15:51

@Serpenta

Kind...

but weird.

She'll definitely be coming on honeymoon with you both, telling you how best and how often to pleasure her son.

Oh God definitely this. Shock
FuckyouCovid21 · 28/05/2021 15:51

*such a personal thing

idontlikealdi · 28/05/2021 15:58

That's utterly bizarre. If she wanted to help and money was an issue she should have gifted your partner the cash to buy a ring.

SpeakingFranglais · 28/05/2021 16:00

Why would a MIL do that?

Librariesmakeshhhhappen · 28/05/2021 16:06

So your ring was made smaller and snapped at the new join? It just wasnt soldered properly. That's an easy fix. Take it to a jeweller and have it repaired. Its not like the ring has to be stretched and got so thin it snapped. Your one is an easy fix.

Give MIL back her ring and just tell her that engagement rings are between the couple themselves, not their parents unless it is a family heirloom being handed down. How very odd of her.

Ozanj · 28/05/2021 16:10

@Librariesmakeshhhhappen

So your ring was made smaller and snapped at the new join? It just wasnt soldered properly. That's an easy fix. Take it to a jeweller and have it repaired. Its not like the ring has to be stretched and got so thin it snapped. Your one is an easy fix.

Give MIL back her ring and just tell her that engagement rings are between the couple themselves, not their parents unless it is a family heirloom being handed down. How very odd of her.

You don’t know the cultural background of the groom or his family so you can’t say it’s between them. In many cultures the groom only proposes with the ring - it is actually sourced / bought by family.
Devlesko · 28/05/2021 16:10

Aw, how sweet.
Wear it on the other hand.
Honestly, so many marriages end in divorce, the rings are really not that important.
The marriage is the difficult bit. Thanks

anothernewtop · 28/05/2021 16:11

@Holly60

What, generous but slightly misguided? Sounds like a harridan from hell

I can't work out what you mean in relation to my comment you quoted?

Redjumper1 · 28/05/2021 16:12

very weird but in some cultures the MIL reigns supreme so maybe it is a different culture thing.