To wonder if it's normal to never feel excited about anything?

[VintageDreamer]

I realised recently that I never feel excited about anything anymore. I have things I may slightly look forward to but I never feel excited. Is this is a normal part of adulthood?

When I was a child I remember feeling butterflies of excitement before Christmas, my birthday, the last day of school, going to a theme park, going on holiday, getting new school shoes from Clarks (!), getting my haircut, going to a restaurant, etc.

I'm in my 20s and I don't think I have had that feeling since childhood. Is this a normal part of adulthood or do you still experience that excited butterflies feeling?

I am also a calm person, so no massive highs but no real lows either.
But I remember to when I first started work and it was full of exhilarating moments and excitement and now I sort of plod along in a pleasant routine which is fine but not very exciting. I’m not sure how to pull out of this! Nothing is wrong, happy marriage, lovely kids, everything very comfortable and normal.

I was thinking this the other day, I seem to feel very little about most things tbh, I wish I could summon some genuine excitement and joy.
I put it down to depression and antidepressant stabilising effects. But I also think, as PP put it, I’m just so weighed down with the stress and drudgery of every single day there’s no room for excitement. Maybe one day when my DC is older

Tbh if they cancelled Christmas and Birthdays it would be a relief. I could see the joy in dc’s faces when Father Christmas came but as they have grown up it is more of a chore than a joyous occasion
Pre pandemic I used to book our flights on Christmas Day every other year. Dh likes Christmas so it is a compromise.

I’m a bit like this.
I do look forward to stuff and am happy when I get long awaited things. But I don’t get butterflies. It’s more a sense of contentment.
I think it’s partly just my personality, I was never one to get too carried away.
And partly a growing up thing.
As an adult big events are balanced with the fact that a lot of the time I’ve done all the work to organise it and a slight anxiety in case anything goes wrong.
I don’t feel I’m missing out. I prefer my life without a lot of rollercoaster emotions! I’m happy with my quiet joy and contentment in my life.

I am anxious on social occasions so don't look forward to them. Probably the opposite.
I live in the countryside and am in awe of nature though.

My childhood was full of disappointments so I think I’ve gone the opposite way in adulthood. I get excited about loads of things. I think it’s also because I was poor for a long time and now, while I’m not rich, I have the money to buy the things I want and go to places I want to go. That makes me excited because I never thought it would be possible.

I’d not really thought about it until I read this, but no I don’t get excited about things in the same way I did when I was younger. Like other posters have pointed out I suspect it’s because I’m involved in orchestrating things and the organisation takes a lot of of magic out of the situation.

I think the trade off could be that I have a lot more moments of pure joy and appreciation. I’ve had more times when I’ve been in the moment and it’s struck me out of the blue exactly how lucky I am and enjoying something unexpected or that’s just worked out perfectly. Maybe we swop excitement for satisfaction as we get older?

Spot on @Cornettoninja, exactly the same for me. It’s not excitement as such but regular little ‘wow’ moments that catch me and I just feel so grateful. I do work with people in constant pain for my job (which I love) so I’m used to seeking and highlighting good stuff where I can find it.

anhedonia? Can be a symptom of stress etc

Do you enjoy doing things? When I was depressed, I was not capable of enjoying anything and I was quite apathetic. I think that is different from lacking excitement. I don’t feel excited in the same way as many people but I don’t think is bad, I am simply less emotional, more calm... The bright side is that I don’t have ups and downs.

Instead of focusing on your emotion (asking yourself Am I happy?, Am I excited), I would focus on my actions: Do I try new things?, Do I take risks?, Do I do the things I enjoy?, What activities I enjoyed the last month?
I am not sure if I make sense.

I definitely appreciate smaller things these days in a way that my kids are like “shrug” when I point out a beautiful tree or a particularly lovely skyline. I love nature and I take pleasure in lots of things and deliberately remind myself to focus on the present. So I will say to myself “remember every moment of this hug” or “remember clearly stroking DS’s cheek” - I wish I could bottle some of the clear, grateful feelings I have sometimes, but I haven’t felt butterflies for ages!

I think covid really finished that off for me. I used to get excited about the small things, now I can’t remember the last time I felt much at all. I suspect it’s a low level depression in my case.

That feeling of getting ready for a night out on holiday - gin and tonic, sour cream Pringles, slightly sunburned skin. Pulling on a new dress before heading out for a night on the town with the girls, laughing, listening to music and feeling excited about the possibilities!

Covid has taken some of it away for sure because it’s hard to look forward to things as there is a real risk that they will be cancelled. So safer not to look forward to things in fear of being disappointed.

I still get excited. I’m excited about my 60th birthday next week. We are going away for a night to one of my favourite places.

I get waves of excitement regularly about stuff like WOO HOO it's Friday and I'll have a glass of wine and curl up with my book later.

I'm on sertraline and wonder if my dose is too high (100mg) so I get lots of waves of excitement these days. I'd usually have some but I seem regularly gleeful these days.

Is this a relatively new thing, OP? If so, it could be Covid-related. Everything has felt a little greyer for the last year and there’s less to look forward to and be excited about.

When lockdown ends, would you be interested in travelling? Or trying something new that takes you out of your comfort zone?

FWIW, although I’m a pretty calm and level-headed person, I do get excited about a lot of things - I get annoyed if the kids sleep in on Christmas Day because I’m lying awake waiting. We’re off to a West End show in the autumn that I’ve been desperate to see for years and I am so excited about it that I get butterflies when I think about us finally sitting down to watch it...

Depends what you mean about being excited.
I do not feel excited by things but I look forward to things happening.
I view excitement as happiness, faster heart rate, jittery, bouncing behaviour so maybe the definition of the word is at the heart of what you're saying.
If I view excitement as above then no I don't feel that in my life anymore.
I'm happy though.

I don't necessarily think there's anything wrong with not being excited about things.
I would go as far as to say social media grooms us into thinking we should be "super excited" at "awesome" events blah blah blah.

It feels false, to me, anyway.
Miserable git I am.

I separated from my never excited partner during lockdown. I can’t wait for my first holiday without him. Nothing booked but excited I don’t have to pay for him, pack for him and spend the week trying to keep him happy ! I was having a discussion with friends in their 70s and they still get excited. They are worried they won’t have enough time to go all the places they want to see .

I'm 60 next month, post-menopausal and still get vety excited about things. Not just things like a holiday or a major purchase but little things like knowing I have something lovely to eat arriving in the grocery delivery later or looking forward to visiting my daughter next week. I'm even excited that my first (minute) pension payment is due soon and I'll get an old persons Oyster card. The pleasure of anticipation is often as good as the actual thing or event.

I do think this might be a symptom of depression OP. Definitely talk to your doctor or try some private counselling.

I get excited about tiny things, not so much the Big Events (which can feel like a hassle).

I found yellow rattle in the wild bit of my garden and was chuffed to bits. A new book being published by a favourite author. The hawthorn making the whole garden smell lovely, that sort of thing.

I’ve taught myself to look for the tiny things and celebrate them. My state of mind is much healthier when I do. Might not work for others, but it does for me.

@CounsellorTroi

I still get excited. I’m excited about my 60th birthday next week. We are going away for a night to one of my favourite places.

That sounds lovely! Hope you have a nice time!

I get excited as in I look forward to things and the day can go slow if I'm waiting on what I am excited for, much like when I was a child. However, I don't feel butterflies or physical signs of excitement like I used to, but just a feeling of 'oh I'm looking forward to that'. Don't know if I'm explaining it well sorry

Yes anhedonia was the thing I thought of, I think its about not feeling pleasure in anything. I must admit I cant remember the last time I could say I was happy or excited about something