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Original poster

To wonder if it's normal to never feel excited about anything?

59 replies

VintageDreamer · 27/05/2021 22:17

I realised recently that I never feel excited about anything anymore. I have things I may slightly look forward to but I never feel excited. Is this is a normal part of adulthood?

When I was a child I remember feeling butterflies of excitement before Christmas, my birthday, the last day of school, going to a theme park, going on holiday, getting new school shoes from Clarks (!), getting my haircut, going to a restaurant, etc.

I'm in my 20s and I don't think I have had that feeling since childhood. Is this a normal part of adulthood or do you still experience that excited butterflies feeling?

OP posts:
RedHelenB · 27/05/2021 22:26

I still get excited for things. Not so much birthdays but going out or watching my football team, or my kids coming home or planning a holiday.

balzamico · 27/05/2021 22:28

I'm Much the same - I don't know if that makes us normal!
My kids are always asking if I'm excited for x,y,z - I'm just not, I look forward to things but not excited.

BinocularVision · 27/05/2021 22:36

Well, you’re not going to feel butterflies about the same thing as you did in childhood, but isn’t there anything in your life that excites you now?

Original poster
VintageDreamer · 27/05/2021 22:49

@BinocularVision

Well, you’re not going to feel butterflies about the same thing as you did in childhood, but isn’t there anything in your life that excites you now?
Sadly no.

What made me realise it was I recently bought something I had wanted for several years. I thought I would be excited about it but it arrived yesterday and I've just left it in its box. I know materialistic goods are a pretty shallow source of excitement but I still expected to feel some kind of excitement about finally owning something I had wanted for ages. I then started to think of other things in my life that should have brought some kind of excitement (finding out I got a first at university, receiving a job offer after months of job hunting, holidays and events, etc) and realised I just don't feel excitement towards anything anymore.

OP posts:
StopTryingToSellMeYourBollocks · 27/05/2021 22:52

I'm the same. My partner jokes about it. I'm too preoccupied with the planning of things with two young kids about to get excited. Things like holiday etc, fill me with dread as I know there is a lot of faff involved and they are never really relaxing. I hate travelling too. If someone booked me a spa day on my own I would feel excited then!

Years ago I think you got what you paid for and everything seemed new and unique, but now I find a lot of things are samey and an anti-climax. I always come away from restaurants and events feeling a bit robbed, so I know to not get excited about them.

ViciousJackdaw · 27/05/2021 22:58

I don't feel it either. Life, for me, has been full of let downs, disappointments and broken promises (no sympathy needed!) so I'm pretty sure this is a defence mechanism. Expect nothing and you're never disappointed.

omgwhy · 27/05/2021 23:04

My DH is like this, the most amazing stuff happens and he's just like "oh yeh great" but never ever any enthusiasm for anything. Nights out I'm busy planning, prepping, bouncing around excited all day to see friends and he will be doing something literally until we need to leave and get changed.

Even when I say "were you exited, nervous etc" he generally just says "I guess so"

I've got used to it and I figured we are all just different in our ways of processing what excitement feels like.

I would add as I've got older it has calmed down..

Poorlykitten · 27/05/2021 23:04

I get excited still. I’m in my 50s!

Itwontstopraining · 27/05/2021 23:08

I don't get excited by things really. I am quite a calm person though, rarely cry, rarely get angry. I do look forward to things but I've kind of accepted I just don't get highs and lows as an adult. Do you think you could be similar, re not having the extremes?

Fwiw it's one reason I got into exercise as being in a fast paced class with upbeat music is one of the closest experiences I get to being properly excited!

katy1213 · 27/05/2021 23:17

That's sad not to feel excited about getting a first and your first job. Decades on and I can still remember getting my first job offer, it was one of the most exciting days of my life. I felt 100 feet tall and on my way to fame and fortune. (Yes, well!) It doesn't happen so often as you get older - there aren't so many new experiences - but I can still get bowled over by travel to an exciting country, or achieving something that's new to me. Maybe heart-pounding excitement mellows into enthusiasm. And I suppose an element of excitement was nervousness when I was younger - and there's not much that throws me today.

Ieatmarmite · 27/05/2021 23:21

I don't feel excited about anything but thought that was due to clinical depression rather than getting older.

WonkyCactus · 27/05/2021 23:22

I'm exactly the same. I don't get excited, I don't even really look forward to things, I just plod along.
But when I go on a day out or on holiday, I do have a good time and I'll look back on it fondly. But in advance, nothing.

Branleuse · 27/05/2021 23:25

Are you on any medication?
Do you think youre depressed?

ADialgaAteMyDog · 27/05/2021 23:31

DP and I are like this and our dc are a bit too. Before Xmas all their friends parents were like "oh they're so excited they could hardly sleep, what a nightmare" and I couldn't relate. We look forward to things but not in that high energy way I remember as a kid.

Original poster
VintageDreamer · 27/05/2021 23:40

@Branleuse

Are you on any medication? Do you think youre depressed?
No, I'm not on any medication. I don't think I'm depressed but maybe it's something I'm starting to wonder about. That's partly why I made this thread, as I was curious if it was normal or if it suggested pontetial depression.
OP posts:
lemmein · 27/05/2021 23:40

I could've wrote your posts OP, I never feel excitement for anything - on the flip side I don't feel dread anymore either, I just don't feel Confused

I am on sertraline though and have been for the past 3-4 years so I put it down to that - are you on any meds?

NotLinear · 27/05/2021 23:47

I’m the same, OP!
Spent my whole life trying to get into vet school and worked so hard whilst there. I really wanted a first - found out I got it... but I only got 63% in an exam I hoped for more in.. just felt nothing?

I plan days out and events and everything feels flat!

Original poster
VintageDreamer · 27/05/2021 23:54

I did have a moment earlier when I was driving past a restaurant. There were people sitting outside in the sunshine and I thought to myself about how I would like to try that restaurant and it made me think how there are so many new things in the world I want to experience and explore and how happy I am to be alive to have the opportunity to do so. It was a bit like the fog cleared for just a moment and it caught me off-guard.

OP posts:
Original poster
VintageDreamer · 28/05/2021 00:00

@ViciousJackdaw

I don't feel it either. Life, for me, has been full of let downs, disappointments and broken promises (no sympathy needed!) so I'm pretty sure this is a defence mechanism. Expect nothing and you're never disappointed.
This really resonated with me. It made me feel sad but I think this is the case for me too.

I remember how so many things I was excited about as a child would eventually become let downs or disappointments. I remember holidays full of arguments and stress and threats to go home early all the time. I guess it is a kind of protective mechanism to prevent further disappointment.

OP posts:
Wiredforsound · 28/05/2021 00:21

I don’t feel excited for my birthday as such anymore, but I get excited about Christmas. I don’t get excited about stuff anymore, but I think a large part of that is because I can generally afford the things I want, so there’s no saving, or build up. For example, when I was a student back in the early 90s I saved up for a pair of Dr Martens and when I finally was able to go out and buy them it was thrilling. Now, if I wanted them I’d just go and get them. What I do get excited about is going to see bands live - big ticket bands like the Foo Fighters or the Killers or similar - because they’re rare events involving travel and annual leave and nice hotels and that feeling you’re part of something more than the music. It’s the joy of a shared experience and losing yourself in the atmosphere for a few hours. My DP and I tend not to buy each other extravagant birthday or Christmas presents - a card and a nice meal is our go to, but we will buy tickets to events we’d like to go to as they become available throughout the year. I’m already looking forward to seeing a band in October which means we have to fly to another part of the UK and we’ll stay for a few days to do the touristy stuff. That’s really exciting!

HerRoyalNotness · 28/05/2021 00:28

I don’t, but I think it’s because I’m depressed. I’m planning a road trip at the moment and H asked me if I was excited and I just thought. Why would I be? But he’s like an over enthusiastic Labrador and gets excited by a plant growing, so, I guess some people still do (mid 40s)

Bythemillpond · 28/05/2021 00:29

I feel exactly the same. Or should I say I don’t feel.

But this isn’t something that occurred in adulthood. This goes back to being quite young.
I think the last time I felt excited for Christmas for instance was when I was 8 years old. I remember waking up and seeing my presents. But then the day progressed like every other day and I think something in me died.
I am sure I have ADHD. I am going for my assessment in a few weeks. I used to get excited about things, probably hyper focus on random stuff but then I think what is the point. My life is not going to change so I stop.
I tend to go around in this calm bubble. Occasionally having a cry and occasionally having a rage but I don’t think happiness plays a part in my life

polkadotpixie · 28/05/2021 00:37

I think this is called anhedonia. I definitely feel this way quite a lot of the time but I am on antidepressants which help somewhat

Miljea · 28/05/2021 00:50

Nah. I can't be arsed with much, anymore.

But in 57 and post-menopausal 😂 It comes with the territory.

Ozgirl75 · 28/05/2021 08:06

I was just talking to my husband about this the other day. We were talking about a big potential event (a move) and he said “do you feel excited about it?” And I realised I don’t feel “excited” about many things! I look forward to stuff but I don’t have that childlike excitement over events anymore, partly I think because I’m often involved in the planning of them so it’s not “exciting”. I love that feeling of butterflies but I can’t remember the last time I had that.
Even things like Christmas, I know it will be nice, but exciting? Not really - a nice day, sure, but it’s kind of on me to make it fun for the kids so it’s not exciting for me.
Even going on holiday - I look forward to it, but I’m not excited as I know I still have to do work to make it fun and enjoyable for everyone and also I always worry that it won’t be as fun if I look forward to things too much - like I fear the anti climax.