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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Car crash debacle

247 replies

guesswhatteapot · 26/05/2021 23:36

So I picked my son up from school and drove home the usual route. Pulled up outside my driveway on the left hand side of the road. We have a shop opposite and it's a main road so always busy with cars parked outside the shop. I sat in my car waiting for the traffic to go past, looked in my rear view mirror, no traffic. Started to reverse onto my driveway. Next thing a car hits the side of me and rips off the front of my car. She must have been parked across from me on the opposite side after going to the shop. She must have pulled out when no traffic coming, completely ignored my reverse lights and ploughed into the front of my car. We exchange numbers and she says she will text me later with her details... no text. I phoned my insurance company, my car is undriveable . I text her and she replies with "Your fault, I was stationary, you reversed into me, not going through insurance company, etc.
I replied that if she was stationary and I reversed into her A) why was the damage to my car at the front and not the back and B) why was she parked across my driveway blocking my access to my driveway?
AIBU to think that she just doesn't want to go through our insurance companies and is trying to blame me for this?

OP posts:

SnarkyBag · 27/05/2021 09:09

When I was hit by a drunk driver he was too pissed to even give me his name (gave me his wife’s name ) I just confiscated his keys called the police who picked him up and then went home and called my insurance company.
The very next day HIS insurance company called me and everything hit sorted.

I didn’t have any further contact with the other driver. You’re turning this into a drama that it doesn’t need to be. Just get on with your insurance claim and ask for a courtesy car

Triffid1 · 27/05/2021 09:11

Agree with all the other posters. The only time the "let's not go through insurers thing" is even vaguely relevant is, for example, some very minor damage and the person at fault says, "look, I'll just pay to get your car fixed" and the other party says, "sure, sounds good." And usually it's because it's something minor like a side mirror on an old car and costs less than £100 to replace.

Insurance companies are surprisingly good and relaxed at all this stuff. I think maybe it was different in the past which is why people still get so worked up. But professional standards and processes are much improved now. I once called my insurance company late in the afternoon of the accident that happened that morning and they'd already got a call from the guy (or his insurance company?) who was at fault.

Huhn · 27/05/2021 09:12

OP report her to the police! Log it now. Because she’s fled the scene, insurance will just side with you anyway (most likely!)

LuaDipa · 27/05/2021 09:17

Just report to the police. It doesn’t really matter who’s fault it is at this stage, it just needs dealing with as you have no car.

looptheloopinahulahoop · 27/05/2021 09:20

We really need to get rid of this fault thing with accidents. We just need to have insurance and if we have an accident we claim on it.

As it is, people just lie to avoid claiming on their insurance (although just being involved in an accident affects your premiums, regardless of whose fault it is).

But anyway OP, call the insurance company this morning. This is what you pay them for.

skirk64 · 27/05/2021 09:21

@Huhn

OP report her to the police! Log it now. Because she’s fled the scene, insurance will just side with you anyway (most likely!)

She's not "fled the scene" - if she gave her name, address and vehicle reg. number, that's all she has to give before leaving the scene of the accident if nobody was injured.

The OP just needs to forward this info to her insurance company and let them deal with it. The fact the other party doesn't want to involve insurance is irrelevant, and anyway policies almost always require you to report an incident that could lead to a claim, even if it doesn't.

Aprilwasverywet · 27/05/2021 09:24

She doesn't get to decide.. Just report to your insurance.. End of.

aiwblam · 27/05/2021 09:24

I’d call up your insurance, give them all details including the diagram and take their advice on what to do. They will deal with this all the time. Likely your own insurers will fix your car immediately for you and then recharge the % to her insurers that she is deemed to be blamed for.

aiwblam · 27/05/2021 09:25

You need your insurer in the first instance, only the police if your insurer says so.

Crockof · 27/05/2021 09:26

@looptheloopinahulahoop

We really need to get rid of this fault thing with accidents. We just need to have insurance and if we have an accident we claim on it.

As it is, people just lie to avoid claiming on their insurance (although just being involved in an accident affects your premiums, regardless of whose fault it is).

But anyway OP, call the insurance company this morning. This is what you pay them for.

What?? Why should I pay increased premium if some dickhead drives into me?

Aposterhasnoname · 27/05/2021 09:29

It’s irrelevant what she wants to do. Just give all the details you have to your insurance company and let them sort it out.

landofgiants · 27/05/2021 09:29

When I had a similar incident in a carpark, it went through insurance, and it went 50:50 in the end. Just forward the details to your insurance company and let them deal with it!

friedafried · 27/05/2021 09:31

Just because she works at primary school doesn't mean she is insured. Why would you think that?

BertramLacey · 27/05/2021 09:34

Also, I'm not trying to be shitty, and maybe it's just the way you worded the post, but if you're doing a manoeuvre and "next thing something slams into my car" were you really continuously checking all around you (inc blind spots)? If you were, wouldn't you have seen the car pulling out? And wouldn't you have expected the collision because you'd have clocked her as she was coming towards you and slamming into you?

This. Not everything shows up in your mirrors. In my car there's a distinct moment when a passing car is not visible in the mirror or in my vision, unless I turn my head. I don't rely solely on mirrors to manoeuvre. And as PP have pointed out, she may have been expecting you to reverse straight back rather than swing out. Sure I personally wouldn't then attempt to come past you, but then I cycle a lot and expect car drivers to do all sorts of things.

baaaaal · 27/05/2021 09:34

The only time the "let's not go through insurers thing" is even vaguely relevant is, for example, some very minor damage and the person at fault says, "look, I'll just pay to get your car fixed" and the other party says, "sure, sounds good." And usually it's because it's something minor like a side mirror on an old car and costs less than £100 to replace.

I agree but also if you are a very young or inexperienced driver you might even offer to pay the £2k or whatever, because insurance is so expensive anyway and you might want to keep the NCB.

There's also the scenario where you could have a decent but old car and the insurance will write the car off even if you could fix it easily yourself, or you feel it's too good a car to scrap? I've never been in this situation but I have heard horror stories of people "forced to scrap" a perfectly good old car and being handed £300 - which even though is technically the value, isn't nearly enough to buy anything else.

But in this case OP should just report it to insurance and expect 50/50 at best.

No idea why people keep suggesting the police when the woman has handed over her details.

I also don't think her saying she can fix it herself is an admission of guilt or that she doesn't have an insurance. She might be scared they'll write her car off and sees it as ops fault (which I'm inclined to agree with from the details provided).

Original poster

guesswhatteapot · 27/05/2021 09:37

Just to clarify, I did phone my insurance company straight after and gave them her phone number and car registration so it has to go through the insurance companies whether she wants to or not.

OP posts:

SoapboxFox · 27/05/2021 09:37

Can you get an official written inspection of your car? A professional would be able to tell what happened from the damage, and say it is consistent with your account of events.

Whitchurch · 27/05/2021 09:38

You really don't need to agonise over this any more. As others have said, just inform your insurance company and ring the police non-emergency number. No point speculating how the issue of whose fault it is either, just let the process happen. The only other thing I'd do is quickly establish if the shop has CCTV of the incident (before it gets wiped) or whether any neighbours would have maybe a Ring that captured it.

Whitchurch · 27/05/2021 09:39

@SoapboxFox

Can you get an official written inspection of your car? A professional would be able to tell what happened from the damage, and say it is consistent with your account of events.

This is what the insurance company do.

LettyLoman · 27/05/2021 09:39

Call your insurance - they will do the rest. You have her reg number.

ComDummings · 27/05/2021 09:46

Don’t worry about it now, insurance will deal with it all. If they find you at fault or 50/50 then so be it. But you’ve passed on the details and it’s being dealt with now.

Thunderdonkey · 27/05/2021 09:47

You don't need to do any more than you have already done. There is little point contacting the police as details were exchanged so she hasn't committed any offences. The insurance company should sort it all from here as long as they are any good.

baaaaal · 27/05/2021 09:49

Can you get an official written inspection of your car? A professional would be able to tell what happened from the damage, and say it is consistent with your account of events.

This is likely just throwing good money after bad though. Even if the professional confirms ops account of events (which could be 100% true)... the other car was on the carriageway and op was manoeuvring in reverse. Unless the road is 10mph and the professional could tell by the damage the other car was speeding, all it's doing is proving op is at fault.

That's why it's better to just leave it to the insurance companies where fault is disputed.

@BertramLacey exactly. Again, not being shitty but reversing while looking all around your vehicle continuously (and not relying on mirrors for anything more than a glance) is what gets drilled into you during every single driving lesson. If you did this on a test you would fail.

It's scary that hardly anyone on this thread has picked up on that fact (a pretty basic thing for anyone who has passed a driving test!) and would rather presume other woman is at fault (and suggest calling the police on her etc!) just because she's saying she won't pursue OPs insurance for any damages and can fix it herself. She could honestly be thinking she's doing the OP a favour by leaving it up to her if she wants to go via insurance because depending on the cars age and value and who she knows, by fixing it herself OP might be avoiding a write off that will leave her carless.

FurierTransform · 27/05/2021 09:55

I'd just ignore her & report to your insurance company. She cannot escape this & has no say over you doing this.

ArgyleIsle · 27/05/2021 09:58

Insurance company will deal with it. That's what you pay them for.

They will also make the decision about liability. Neither you or the other driver get a say in this. The insurance company will use the evidence you provided, inspection of the car etc and make a decision, not you, not the other driver.

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