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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Did anyone feel like they would never learn to drive?

121 replies

Jobseeker19 · 26/05/2021 16:45

I've just had my 4th lesson and I hate it.

I don't know if I'm someone that just cannot learn to drive.

I cant stay in my lane and drive straight or gauge how much to steer around a corner.

Is this normal?

OP posts:
Hairbrush123 · 28/05/2021 10:27

It took me three years to learn to drive Blush. I found it very difficult and actually quit for a year as I couldn’t hack it. Fortunately I went back to learn and passed eventually. It might feel impossible now to think you’ll be a competent driver soon but it will happen. Don’t give up Flowers.

UKnowHowUsCatholicGirlsCanBe · 28/05/2021 15:23

I had about 20 lessons.
4 is just starting out

MyCatEatsPrawnCrackers · 28/05/2021 16:40

It took me ages to learn to drive. I had 2 lessons a week for a year and I was dreadful for the first 6 months. It took me ages to learn how to reverse around a corner and as for the three point turn... and hill starts .....! I used to cry before lessons and pray that the instructor would cancel but it paid off in the end because I passed first time. Perservere!

user1471538283 · 28/05/2021 18:25

It will feel as though you start afresh each lesson because you are only four lessons in. Alot of driving is muscle memory and that builds up with time.

Would two a week help you? It might help to cement it faster. I used to drive home from work after I had mastered the basics and my DF would cook a lovely tea so I had something to look forward to.

Strangestthings · 28/05/2021 18:43

I was like this when I first started learning age 17. Hated it and didn’t try again until I was 30. Found a great instructor and it just seemed to suddenly click. Passed first time within 6 months. I’m not suggesting you wait 13 years but maybe have a break and try a different instructor. I also drive an automatic now which is so much easier.

ChristmasFluff · 28/05/2021 19:29

See, I think you either 'get it', spatially, or you don't. And yes, that spatial awareness can come with time. But I don't believe it comes with practice - I think it comes with brain development.

But the world is full of people, like those advising you, who managed to pass their test, but really cannot drive - I mean staying in lane, driving straight and getting around a corner, it's pretty basic, and kind of below first lesson stuff.

Give it a rest for a couple of years and try again. When you can do all the things you describe on your first lesson, you are ready.

Original poster
Jobseeker19 · 29/05/2021 08:01

@ChristmasFluff

See, I think you either 'get it', spatially, or you don't. And yes, that spatial awareness can come with time. But I don't believe it comes with practice - I think it comes with brain development.

But the world is full of people, like those advising you, who managed to pass their test, but really cannot drive - I mean staying in lane, driving straight and getting around a corner, it's pretty basic, and kind of below first lesson stuff.

Give it a rest for a couple of years and try again. When you can do all the things you describe on your first lesson, you are ready.

This is what I'm afraid of, my sense of direction.

My husband got this straight away when he was learning but struggled with confidence.

I'm crap.

OP posts:
Schnauzersaremyheros · 29/05/2021 09:15

It took me about 18 years, 3 different instructors and 3 failed tests before I eventually passed (obviously with several years breaks between instructors Grin). I honestly never thought I would drive! Now after 6yrs of driving, I absolutely love it. My second instructor was amazing, and it was only because I had a van rear-end me on a slip road that I gave up with him. The instructor that I passed with, was a retired marine, and I believe that his years in service helped him stay patient haha.

He passed on a really useful tip to me - if you are a passenger in a car/bus, pretend that you are actually driving and act out the motions when approaching roundabouts/junctions/maneuvers/etc. I found this really helpful.
Keep going OP Smile

Cyanchicken · 25/06/2021 19:34

I also have no sense of direction - A sat nav and now my google maps on my phone (and a good sturdy phone holder in the car) have made the world of difference!

ElsieMc · 25/06/2021 19:41

It clicks in the end op, it is like riding a bike. I didn't like changing gear or people driving behind me fgs. It also took me around 4 driving instructors before I found one I knew I would pass with. This was because she was so awful, I never wanted to get back in a car with her again. Her pass rate was second to none.

Sadly my first instructor committed suicide. He was an older guy who got divorced late in life and just did not cope - so sad. He was followed by an instructor who spent his time telling me all about his probs with his teenage dd. Sigh. I swapped to a national company whose instructor turned out to be the sleaziest ever and I got out of the car. Final was my late instructor who helpfully told me just before my test I was "only a 50-50". Passed first time after a long and eventful learning period. Do stick with it op, it really is freedom.

Darbs76 · 25/06/2021 19:46

I did a course and passed 1 month after my 17th birthday. But growing up in North Wales and being a parent already by then I was desperate to get some freedom with my own wheels. My eldest hated learning, he’s been passed 2.5yrs and still doesn’t like driving (he passed 4th time) Just going to go through it all again with DS2 who is 17 in August. Perfectly normal to feel as you do on your 4th lesson, keep going

shivawn · 26/06/2021 18:15

Yeah I hate it, I had 12 lessons, 8 years ago, and never did anything with them. Living in the city center and walking distance to work I never really needed to put too much pressure on myself. I'm pregnant now and realising I'll have to be able to drive when I have kids so I'm just starting off again! I feel a lot more confident this time around but I still don't really enjoy it.

Blah1881 · 26/06/2021 18:50

I passed at the grand old age of 42- before that I had intense periods of doing lessons- even a couple of weeks away on intensive courses in my 20s- but never got anywhere. Failed 6 times. In the end, the time I passed I was just way more motivated as it was essential for the lifestyle we had planned as a family. Also, I wasn’t a space cadet anymore and had substantially gained in confidence snd common sense.

CSIblonde · 26/06/2021 20:56

Hated learning to drive. My instructor had no idea how to cope with a lack of confidence & would sigh, a lot, which made me worse because I felt so pressured to get it right first time with everything . I did way better at practice sessions with my Dad . That's when I started to feel I knew what I was doing & my lessons then went better. Took me 2 attempts to pass.

Budic1 · 31/08/2021 17:32

Back in 1994 (two months or so before my 19th Birthday) l was umming and arghing about wether or not to start learning to drive.

I came home one day to find my parents had booked me a Driving Lesson......after my first lesson just as we pulled up outside the house the Instructor asked me "How well do you think you did?" To which l replied "Not Very Good....." He was absolutely shocked that l said that.

Anyway l carried on with one lesson per week, some lessons were ok but others were not. After a while I stopped having lessons for a few months as it felt like l wasn't learning anything. I don't know why but l tried again only this time with 90 minute lessons rather than just the usual 60 minutes.

Alas nothing changed, l still didn't believe l could learn to drive up to Test Standard, as l struggled on Three Point Turns and l wasn't able to keep track of everything l was supposed to. Despite this my Instructor kept on at me to apply for my Test......

One day he mentioned it again and l asked if he thought l could do it!? He then (to cut a long tirade short) implied l had no chance. I made my mind up there and then, no Driving Test for me ever. After a few more lessons l quit for good after l didn't see a car coming at a Roundabout and had to stop suddenly and the car behind beeped their horn at me.

25 years on l still feel sad/depressed because l couldn't learn to drive like normal people my age did back then, l also feel sad when l see 18 year olds driving around (l am 46 now). I don't know if it was a case of 1 lesson per week not being enough for me or that l was just incompetent behind the wheel of a car......

LetgoOrnot · 31/08/2021 17:33

I'm in my 30s and had 100s of lessons, I kept running out of money and having to put it off for years so had to keep redoing my theory and then redoing everything I'd learnt. Did eventually learn but it took ages.

DinaofCloud9 · 31/08/2021 17:36

Automatic lessons may help. It takes the pressure off a lot not having to think about gears and worrying about stalling.

Budic1 · 31/08/2021 17:44

@dancinfeet

Had 20 lessons 18 years ago and was useless. My instructor used to shout a lot, so I gave up when I found out I was expecting my second child as the shouting made it all too stressful. Am 44 and still can't drive, too afraid to go back to lessons.
I quit aged 20. (I am 46 now). I won't ever try again, l would be afraid of getting the same bad feeling l had 25+ years ago.
Budic1 · 31/08/2021 17:57

@Damnpeskykids

I feel the same OP, I've tried a couple of times, have done intensive courses and weekly lessons and just hated it! I need to learn how to drive but I honestly don't see how I can get over my feeling like I'm just shit at it, I hate the knobhead drivers that are about and just the anxiety of being on the road!
I felt exactly the same 25+ years ago. God alone knows how the new generation of Learner Drivers cope nowadays because the roads around here are far more congested than they were when l was a Learner.
cricketball · 31/08/2021 18:02

I passed in my late 40s and had never had a lesson before that. Never say never.

Richtea2 · 05/03/2022 21:05

I am not enjoying my lessons. I burst into tears last lesson.
I feel my instructor only understood last lesson was being nice because I cried. He wrote stuff for me to remember.
He just shows me this book and told me what I will be doing and expected me to just get it.
I feel my confidence is knocked a bit. So dreading next lesson just might ask if they can send someone else.

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