Page 3 | Did anyone feel like they would never learn to drive?

dancinfeet · 27/05/2021 07:32

Had 20 lessons 18 years ago and was useless. My instructor used to shout a lot, so I gave up when I found out I was expecting my second child as the shouting made it all too stressful. Am 44 and still can't drive, too afraid to go back to lessons.

bookworm14 · 27/05/2021 07:46

I tried and failed to pass my test an embarrassing number of times as a teen/young adult. Gave it up as a bad job, then thought I’d have another try and passed straight away aged 28, with only one minor fault. Don’t give up!

Embracingthechaos · 27/05/2021 07:51

I learned with my step dad. The first few times we went out I was sobbing and shaking by the time we got home. I kept saying I would never get back behind the wheel again.

I went on to pass my test, first time! Now I drive all the time and I hate it because it hurts my back, but I'm very confident and have yet to cause any accidents.

Your experience sounds pretty normal to me.

CecilyP · 27/05/2021 07:52

4 lessons is nothing. It took me over a year of regular lessons to pass my test. If you have never sat behind the wheel of a car before your first lesson, everything is new and will take longer than if you have had a practice in a parent’s car.

thecognoscenti · 27/05/2021 07:57

Me! I hated it, took ages, cried in every lesson I had, was convinced I'd never pass my test - then passed first time! I drive all the time now and it doesn't phase me at all. The freedom it gives is incomparable.

Daysofpearlyspencer · 27/05/2021 08:01

Do keep going, i think its really important for women to drive. It makes us safer and more independent. I was a late driver and regret waiting so long to do it. Once i passed i was free to change jobs and where i lived. Wouldn't have happened without a car.

LomasLongstriderJnr · 27/05/2021 08:06

Yes I liked the lessons while we were still in the car park stage, then once we moved onto the road, I had massive anxiety, and worried about lessons all week. My instructor was strict/quite mean/overly critical (which just made me more nervous) so I wish now I'd gone with someone else.

I failed tests twice because of nerves, then when I passed, I cried, and couldn't believe I'd passed. I kept looking at the pass cert, and was anxiously waiting for ages for someone to ring me and say they'd made a mistake! That was late last year, between lockdowns. I only got a car recently, due to lockdowns and being furloughed.

Now I still have mild imposter syndrome, but it is easing, and I'm finding my confidence slowly but surely. Keep at it!

Dizzy1234 · 27/05/2021 08:10

Please don't give up, 4 lessons is nothing.
When you pass your driving test you will be free, free to go to the supermarket whenever you want, a trip to the seaside, pick up friends, go to an out of town mall etc.
It really does give you freedom.
I had loads of lessons and on my first test I skidded up the road doing an emergency stop, hit two kerbs and went through an Amber traffic light, I pulled over in the street, got out of the car and went home, left the examiner sitting there😂 I got a serious bollocking off my driving instructor as the examiner was not insured to drive the car back to the test centre.
Passed 2nd try

Branleuse · 27/05/2021 08:12

Yes me. Never thought id get it. Took me ages and eventually went to automatic and that was the turning point.
Finally got my licence and probably the best thing ive ever done for myself

Tumbledried · 27/05/2021 08:14

100% I thought i would never drive. I have dyspraxia which impacts my co-ordination and it was always on the cards that driving might not be for me. I really struggled with the doing multiple things at once eg steering whilst breaking whilst pressing the clutch to change gear

My first driving instructor who was lovely (after 20 plus lessons) said he didn't think I would pass. I then had a break and found a different driving instructor. The new driving instructor was really good for me, he helped me break things down so I would change gear earlier and didn't have two feet doing different things. Eventually some things like biting point just clicked (a lot later than they do for others, but eventually!). He also helped with some anxiety around the test etc and eventually although I had more lessons then most I know I passed first time! I also deliberately didn't drive with family as they were frustrated by struggles to do all the things.

I always felt for me driving would be a functional thing that I hated but needed. Within a few weeks of passing my test, my confidence soared. Now I drive long distances without a care, and the idea of driving to Scotland etc doesnt bother me.

I owe a lot to my second driving. I think its impossible to over estimate the amount of freedom and possibilities driving has given me. It allowed me to pursue certain jobs, move locations, maintain a long distance relationship etc.

Middersweekly · 27/05/2021 08:36

My mum took 4 attempts to pass her driving test in her 20’s. She’s still a very nervous driver now in her mid 60’s but she gets about ok just drives very slowly much to the fury of anyone behind her
I had a couple of lessons at 17 as a birthday present then stopped because I couldn’t afford to carry on. At 20 I had a few more lessons but again had to stop because it was just too expensive. Finally at 23 I decided enough was enough. I had 3 DC and I really needed to drive. I booked 5 more lessons with an instructor and got DH to take me out in the car. After a couple of months I could drive ok but my anxiety was telling me I wasn’t good enough to book a test and the instructor I’d had intermittently didn’t say anything about being ready for a test. DH said I was fine and booked a test without me knowing then let me know a couple of days before I was due to take the test. I didn’t really have time to panic. I passed the test first time. Phoned up the driving instructor abs let him know I didn’t need any more driving lessons as I had passed my test. Anyway I’m a very confident driver now. I live in EU and drive a left hand drive also. Give yourself some time. 4 lessons is nothing really. You will get there!

Longdistance · 27/05/2021 09:25

On another thread I said this. I passed on my 7th attempt and I’m a great driver. I’ve never had points on licence and never had an accident. I’ve been driving 25 years now.
4 lessons is not much. I’d say give it a few more goes. You could change instructor if it’s that. If not you could also learn in an automatic which is easier to drive. But you won’t be able to drive a manual car once you’ve passed, but if you pass in a manual you can drive both.

jagoda · 27/05/2021 09:34

I passed 7th time lucky!!!!

Still hate it but it's useful. Keep going OP.

Hollyhocksarenotmessy · 27/05/2021 09:56

It took me about 2 years on and off, 3 instructors and 5 tests. I honestly thought I'd never get there. It was my final change of instructor that did it - a nice but crusty old school chap in tweed who broke all the bad habits I'd developed and I passed relatively quickly with him.

4 lessons is nothing. I think we are so used to picking up new tech instinctively, we forget cars are very different and need completely different skills and time to build up muscle memory, along with the rules of the road and hazard perception all at the same time.
Its more like learning to play a musical instrument. Sounds simple. Blow in this hole, move your fingers there, keep the right rhythmn. Turn the steering wheel, change the gears, use the pedals, keep the right rhythm... It takes time to learn all the individual skills and then pull them all together.

thelongwayhome · 27/05/2021 10:49

I've been having lessons for ages but can't get a test slot so genuinely close to throwing in the towel, I can't afford to keep having lessons just so I'm ready to go whenever I can get a slot (which may well be in 2022 at this rate). I also hate driving but I felt like I need to, but maybe it's just not worth it :/

Acupofcamus · 27/05/2021 11:10

Yeah, my DH did. He had ten tests before he passed. Not a bad driver by any means, just ridiculously nervous before tests and made silly errors like not stopping at a zebra when someone was approaching.

Lagomaggiore · 27/05/2021 11:11

You'll get there. Good luck.

Acappuchinoplease · 27/05/2021 11:13

It took me 4 years on and off. Switched to automatic and passed second time. I don’t really like driving and I’m only comfortable in areas that I know but that’s because I was in an accident 2 months after I passed (not my fault thankfully) it’s really shaken my confidence but determined I won’t give up driving

DynamoKev · 27/05/2021 11:13

I cant stay in my lane and drive straight or gauge how much to steer around a corner.
Quite a lot of drivers I see most days are like this - don't worry.

Imworkingonit · 27/05/2021 12:18

It took 10 lessons before I felt anything went in at all but suddenly it seemed to click and I felt a bit like I knew what I was doing.

I passed first time and blurted out "really?" as I was sure I'd failed. Grew to love driving and gave everyone lifts at the drop of a hat and used to go for drives for fun when nothing was open on Sunday's.

Been driving over 30 yrs. I wouldn't say I enjoy it now but I'm perfectly competent and enjoy the freedom the car gives me.

Stick with it. Four lessons is no time at all.

Piecrust32 · 27/05/2021 13:43

I was completely useless when I first started , lots of tears and a unforgiving driving instructor didn't help, really hated it and with Reversing I was awful!
But I kept going as was determined to do it.
Now been driving a few years, confidence has grown massively and now find Reversing no problem
Don't lose heart it will just "click" into place

user1471538283 · 27/05/2021 13:50

Yes me! Honestly 4 lessons in and it will be hard but you can do it!

I learnt on and off for decades! I just didn't "get it" until I did. My last driving instructor was just wonderful, we really clicked and when I was sobbing (yes really!) about reversing around a corner bleating "I don't understand it" I think something clicked for him as well. He said he had never thought that some learners would need to understand why and how not just crack on and do it!

I sat 4 tests! When I finally passed I also did Pass Plus because I was so nervous about motorways. Now I couldn't imagine not being able to drive. I still marvel 20 years later how independent I feel.

amusedbush · 27/05/2021 13:52

Yes, I was so despondent about it I kept quitting so it took me 7 years all in. I finally got there and can’t imagine not driving now!

user1471538283 · 27/05/2021 13:53

@Longdistance - you have a very valid point! It took me forever and I drive like a quaker but apart from a little bump when I first started driving I've never had an accident or points.

You get there when you get there and it takes lots of practice!

VeryQuaintIrene · 27/05/2021 14:40

I hated it and it took me 3 efforts to pass. I will never be a natural driver but I can do it reasonably well with concentration and don't hate it any more (I live where there is very limited public transport and not driving is barely an option.)

One thing that really helped me get better with handling a moving object in the middle of other moving objects, since I have bad hand-eye coordination, is playing video games, especially driving simulation ones so that might be worth a try?