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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Did anyone feel like they would never learn to drive?

121 replies

Jobseeker19 · 26/05/2021 16:45

I've just had my 4th lesson and I hate it.

I don't know if I'm someone that just cannot learn to drive.

I cant stay in my lane and drive straight or gauge how much to steer around a corner.

Is this normal?

OP posts:
starsinthegutter · 27/05/2021 14:43

Yes, took lots and lots of lessons. I did an intensive thing and had lessons every day almost. I think it was worth it.

notagainohno · 27/05/2021 14:50

@Cottagepieandpeas download the driving theory app that includes questions and hazard perception. It really worked for me.
I was in my late 40s and passed first time. You can do it.

HOkieCOkie · 27/05/2021 14:51

@EastWestWhosBest automatic cars still run on either petrol or Diesel. Their not electric, the car just automatically changes gear.

Pinkbrush · 27/05/2021 14:57

I did until I switched to auto after a few manual lessons. 5 years later, no regrets!

CounsellorTroi · 27/05/2021 14:59

It took me about 4 years on and off and as many different instructors and test attempts. I had no one to practice with outside lessons, other than my mother who was herself a nervous and reluctant driver. My last instructor was a revelation. While the first three were very chatty and made me get distracted, this one was a taciturn man who said very little other than what he needed to.

DateLoaf · 27/05/2021 15:00

I passed fourth go. It’s just practice. Good luck.

sallievp · 27/05/2021 15:00

Keep going...I had over 100 lessons!! But I passed first time. I found it difficult but kept going. You can do it!

MindTheBumps · 27/05/2021 16:18

I definitely felt like I would never get it but keep it up! It honestly changes your life!

Dontforgetyourbrolly · 27/05/2021 16:20

Its only been 4 lessons keep going!
I say this as someone that has given up but after 20 years and 11 failed tests I've made my peace with it lol

CandyCaneLane0 · 27/05/2021 16:57

I'm 6 lessons in and feeling similar, I seem to flop between feeling like I'm getting somewhere with it to then feeling like I'm never going to get it.

I’ve already failed my theory test once blush It was the hazard perception bit, if anyone’s got any tips!
Did you do the 3 click method? If not look it up on youtube

Sinthie · 27/05/2021 17:02

7 years and 7 driving tests later, I finally passed.

Original poster
Jobseeker19 · 27/05/2021 18:11

I'm doing it in an automatic so I only have to worry about controlling the car. I just feel like I start from fresh every lesson.

OP posts:
MjonathanB · 27/05/2021 22:29

In my teens and twenties I had no interest at all in learning to drive. Lived in London. Liked the Tube. Had other uses for my money. And just never been at all interested in cars.

In my thirties, life circumstances forced me to admit that it would be useful to be able to drive, so I learned. Still wasn’t terribly interested though.

I drive a lot now, as I have teenage daughters who want to go places and we’re not on the Tube. So I’m Uberdad.

My (American) wife thinks being able to drive is an essential adult skill, like using cutlery. But it would honestly not bother me if I never drove a car again.

So I’d say, unless there’s a practical need to be able to do it, why bother?

Also, I did the maths on this, and the annual cost of owning and running a year is considerably greater than the cost of drinking a lot of wine and getting a cab a couple of times a week.

MjonathanB · 27/05/2021 22:32

‘....running a car...’ I mean.

Cocolemon · 27/05/2021 22:36

I found it one of the hardest things I gave ever done, took me 5 attempts to pass and I felt ashamed of myself! Fast forward 20 years and I am now a confident driver and am so glad I persevered as it opened up so many oportunities. I wouldn't be able to do my current job without driving. In fact I would struggled in my career without it.

For me, the physical side of steering, changing gear etc felt like so much multitasking it then makes the being on the road hard. Once I'd got enough practice for it to become automatic it got lots easier.

Desperado40 · 27/05/2021 22:39

Yes! I come from a family of non-drivers. My parents never had a car and I never wanted to learn. I them moved to a rural area and gave up trying to get to work by hourly (unreliable) bus. It took me ages, but believe in yourself, it will happen. I passed my test on 2nd attempt and have been a driver for the last 15 years. Be patient, it will come with practice. Don’t give up and good luck! You can do this!!

Rainbowsew · 27/05/2021 23:12

Yes! Took me at least 3 years and several tests but I'm 21 years qualified this April just gone my happiest achievement for years, probably til I had my kids!

IHaveBrilloHair · 27/05/2021 23:17

Not me, but I've a couple of friends who tried and gave up and accepted driving wasn't for them.
I also have friends who do drive but only locally and won't go on Motorways, or in some cases even dual carriageways.

JFCO · 27/05/2021 23:36

I FAILED my 4th driving test last week and still think I can drive :) 4 lessons is nothing, don't give up. You will get more confidence after some time. If you have a car, try to go with somebody around in the evenings, when is less traffic. You can do it!

SunnydaleClassProtector99 · 28/05/2021 00:01

My first instructor said I lacked the capacity to learn anything other than automatic.
My second instructor was gobsmacked I passed.

Driving over ten years now, eight or so no claims.
You'll get there. It might just take a lot of lessons and patience.

HangingOver · 28/05/2021 00:10

I'm glad it's not just me. I've just about got comfortable with the shops and back (in automatic!) but huge roundabouts and fast roads feel like they will never happen! I feel like I need to take a deckchair to a busy roundabout and just sit by the side of it for a few hours and just watch!!

Lampzade · 28/05/2021 00:42

I hated my driving lessons, I just couldn’t get the hang of it. Every time I had a lesson I felt miserable.
I had many lessons and surprisingly passed first time. It was truly one of the happiest days of my life.
I love driving now and feel confident driving on a motorway, dual carriageway etc

If you fail a test, the best thing is to book another one straight away

Kayl23 · 28/05/2021 07:35

Absolutely! I started and stopped lessons over about five years because every time I was doing them I just hated it and couldn't be bothered. In the end I did one of those five day courses which I found much better, but I did still have to carry on with lessons after that as I failed my first test. Five driving tests later I finally passed and it made my life so much easier! Honestly if I can do it then anyone can haha, in my first test I failed it driving out of the parking space as I drove straight up the nearby path instead of the road!

Spandang · 28/05/2021 07:54

Keep going! It took me ten years to decide to do it, I had a lot of anxiety wrapped up in learning after losing someone in a car crash. My instructor was amazing, but I made sure I had the money when I started to do it all (no excuses) and no matter how bad my lesson was I always booked the next two so that I didn’t stop.

But I used to sit with a dinner plate on the sofa and practice (I’m not joking!) and I used to watch videos of roundabouts on the test route because roundabouts and lanes I really struggled with.

It was 12 hours before I finally mastered the clutch. I hated using the handbrake, still to this day I hate it. But oh my god it is the thing I am the most proud of.

genome · 28/05/2021 08:01

I still found it really difficult 4 lessons in and was still crawling very slowly around a housing estate. I wasnt sure I would ever manage to do it. I had lessons weekly only (no other practice outside those lessons) for 9 months and passed first time. Driving 5 years now and it's been great to be able to take my kids on days out and holidays that just wouldn't have been possible on public transport before.

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