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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Lunchtime supervision

112 replies

KindergartenKop · 26/05/2021 16:02

DS is in Y1. He's a bit of a fussy eater. His school offer 3 lunch options and some days he doesn't like any of them (usually due to them all being potato based. Other than chips, potatoes make him gag).

Today he says he only ate his pudding and put the rest in the bin. I'm a bit concerned that it seems he's not being challenged on this and is allowed to chuck his whole meal. Obviously he might be lying though. It causes problems because he's in a terrible mood after school and any snacks I give him then mean he rejects his dinner later on. Packed lunches are allowed but that makes so much more work for me as he also has a brother who has school dinners. I don't want to pander too much to the fussiness.

Aibu to email school and ask politely whether they could pay a bit more attention to what is being thrown away?

OP posts:
user1494055864 · 26/05/2021 17:44

@Beseigedbykillersquirrels

Just send him in with food he will eat. You're asking over-stretched staff to remember he doesn't like potatoes and which day of the week there is only potatoes on offer and then try (and surely fail) to get him to eat food that you know makes him gag. He's your child. It's up to you to try to get him to eat food he doesn't like or to send him in with food he does like. The MDSAs aren't personal nannies for individual children.
This with bells on.
RightOnTheEdge · 26/05/2021 17:51

I had the opposite at my dcs school. My son is not a particularly fussy eater at home but he didn't like a lot of school food. I had a period of him coming home complaining that he didn't like the food and they were trying to force it down him.
One of the lunchtime supervisors told me once that they got his teacher to come out of the staffroom and sit with him until he ate it and once they made his big sister come and sit with him and she said she cried and told them to stop because he didn't want to eat and she said he was crying and the woman was waving a fork in his face.
I worked there in the nursery and as a lunchtime supervisor for a few years and I said that I didn't want him getting upset over food because he eats plenty he's not starving.

I just mostly make him a packed lunch now and he's much happier. It's a pain because he gets fsm but it's not worth him being sad over.

Hankunamatata · 26/05/2021 17:51

Yabu. They cant make him eat it or hover over him. If you want him to eat more then send him pack lunch.

Hankunamatata · 26/05/2021 17:53

I also get DC to make their pack lunch with me supervising. They know what's in it and more likely to eat it.

GlutenFreeGingerCake · 26/05/2021 17:53

If your school allows you to bring in pack lunches on certain days then just do him a pack lunch on the days he doesn't like anything on the menu. I know the food is free in yr 1 but it's no good if he doesn't eat it.

Laiste · 26/05/2021 18:02

DD 4 (7) is incredibly fussy. I find it very frustrating and i really wish she wasn't! However there's no way i'd want this tackled during her school day.

There's enough ''challenges'' in a young kid's day at school without adding being made to eat food they don't like by the lunch time supervisors. (imagine someone standing over you making you eat 'just a bit more' of food you don't like/don't fancy on your lunch break at work!)

We are working on DD's fussiness at home. That is the right place to do it. She tries new foods and is veeeeery slowly getting better. I send her into school with a packed lunch of food she enjoys so that she has a happy day at school.

Kokosrieksts · 26/05/2021 18:03

A hungry kid will eat. I think it’s very unreasonable to expect the school to monitor how much the kids eat.

CutieBear · 26/05/2021 18:05

If you care about your DS then you will take the time to prepare a packed lunch with things he likes. Going without lunch (lack of nutrition) will impact his mental and physical development. It doesn’t take long to make a sandwich the night before and then add some fruit, yoghurt, Soreen into the lunchbox before he goes to school!

DancesWithDaffodils · 26/05/2021 18:20

If a packed lunch every day is too much like hard work, can you mix and match, and do the packed lunch on the potato heavy day each week?
My kids arent keen on potato either, so I do understand this part.

Pinkblueberry · 26/05/2021 18:27

It’s not a lot of work to make a packed lunch.

BeyondMyWits · 26/05/2021 18:35

In my previous job as a midday supervisor... 5 of us, 1 hour rolling lunchbreak, 420 kids, to be supervised at tables and outdoors (100 fit in hall at a time) , followed by a 10 minute clear up and put away tables...

5 severe food allergies, 3 diabetic, 25-30 food intolerances. Lunchtimes are firefighting from one minor crisis to another. Indoors (2 supervisors) is spent mainly supervising the littlest, opening blooming yoghurt sticks or mandarins if they have packed lunch, cutting things up if school dinners ... then cleaning up spills... especially on a gravy day.

Outdoors (2 supervisors) is spent stopping kids killing each other playing football or whatever tik tok trend.

One supervisor runs first aid, wet paper towels galore... and walks round making sure "meanness" gets dealt with, as well as carrying the emergency stuff round.

Not entirely sure who should be tasked with making sure Johnny actually eats some peas.

HerMammy · 26/05/2021 18:38

Packed lunches are allowed but that makes so much more work for me
A wee packed lunch for a 5 yr old? really?
Are you always so dramatic? lazy?

CauliflowerCheese30 · 26/05/2021 18:39

I'm a lunchtime supervisor, I try to encourage them to eat something, but I'm not going to force them to eat, normally it's because they've chosen something they don't end up liking, so I say not to choose it next time, I'm also a parent of a year 2 child, and I know she will not eat most of the stuff on the menu so I do her a packed lunch.

Howshouldibehave · 26/05/2021 18:43

whether they could pay a bit more attention to what is being thrown away?

Or you could just pay more attention to your child’s lunchbox and give them food you know they like and will eat and the problem will be solved.

purplecorkheart · 26/05/2021 18:45

You do know that the school staff are not there to solve the inconvenience for you to be being your child's parent. I am sorry normally I would consider this a vile comment but some of your responses to this thread make me sad. You will consider making a packed lunch for your child a inconvenience????? Unless there are financial restrictions or accessible issues to food that your child will not eat in a packed lunch then sorry but u need to step up. I am not uk but can you access info on the school meals in advance (you may need to contact the school)and work out the days that a packed lunch will be be needed.

kowari · 26/05/2021 18:45

Packed lunch on potato day?
Do you only serve chips and never any potatoes in other forms?
I don't serve potatoes as we don't like potatoes. We eat sweet potatoes, and rice, quinoa, couscous, pasta... just not potatoes.

Plumbear2 · 26/05/2021 18:45

Making a packed lunch is not lots of work. I've been making them for years for my kids and it takes 5 minutes from scratch for multiple kids. My year 8 makes his own in less than 5.

audweb · 26/05/2021 18:48

Just make a packed lunch. I used to think it was a lot of work but it’s not really. My fussy 8 year old has also started taking in a thermos with noodles or soup, and she often just has wraps/meat/other snacks. Some days she will pick a school dinner but it’s really not hard to throw something together.

CoffeeCakey · 26/05/2021 18:49

Packed lunches are allowed but that makes so much more work for me

Does he like cheese? You can get that presliced to make it even easier. Then it's just butter two slices of bread and whack a slice of cheese in and put it in clingfilm. And an apple and maybe some carrot sticks and you're done. Once you get going with it lunches can get a bit more adventurous but if you're finding it daunting just keep it really simple.

Veryverycalmnow · 26/05/2021 18:52

My DS gags on potato too- it's strange- he does it whether mashed or roasted or whatever. He even struggles with chips a bit.
I'd be pleased he's not being nagged by the lunchtime organisers/ midday supervisors.

SquashMinusIsShit · 26/05/2021 18:57

DD doesn't like a lot of her school dinners so on those days she has a packed lunch... a ham or cheese wrap, some fruit (banana/few blackberries etc) and a biscuit.

Literally takes me 5 mins including washing the tubs from the day behind

LostInTheColonies · 26/05/2021 19:03

@ShoutingBirb

Anyone remember the scary dinner ladies in the old days? Ours had a hammer that she would whack a bell with if there was too much noise, and she would patrol the room like a lieutenant.
Yes!! Starting with the dishing-up; if you said no to any item, they'd check in a notebook to see if your parent had given permission for you to skip whatever it was. Nothing to be left on your plate, either - I remember kids trying to hide food under their cutlery 😂 They'd stalk between the tables making sure cutlery was held correctly (no scooping with forks or knives like pens). Zero tolerance approach to fussy eating.

I still remember the name of the scariest head dinner lady, and of the boy who repeatedly got in trouble for squirting mashed potato through his teeth.

For context, this was not at some kind of hard-line Victorian reform school but a bog-standard infants' school in the mid 1970s 🤣 I still hate boiled tinned tomatoes.

Tinkywinkydinkydoo · 26/05/2021 19:12

Just make him a packed lunch, if you find him hard work because he hasn’t eaten imagine how his teachers find him because his mum can’t be messed to make him a packed lunch and she knows he doesn’t like the dinners , you’d have been pulled up about this at my school not the poor dinner ladies who has numerous other children to look and clean after

TheUndoingProject · 26/05/2021 19:14

Expecting the school to force feed your kid because you can’t be bothered to make a packed lunch is ridiculous. Do you not think this will create “so much more work” for the school?

Morgan12 · 26/05/2021 19:23

I think you should just leave things as they are. It's totally fine if he just misses a meal. Sometimes I can't be arsed to feed my kids either.