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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Lunchtime supervision

112 replies

KindergartenKop · 26/05/2021 16:02

DS is in Y1. He's a bit of a fussy eater. His school offer 3 lunch options and some days he doesn't like any of them (usually due to them all being potato based. Other than chips, potatoes make him gag).

Today he says he only ate his pudding and put the rest in the bin. I'm a bit concerned that it seems he's not being challenged on this and is allowed to chuck his whole meal. Obviously he might be lying though. It causes problems because he's in a terrible mood after school and any snacks I give him then mean he rejects his dinner later on. Packed lunches are allowed but that makes so much more work for me as he also has a brother who has school dinners. I don't want to pander too much to the fussiness.

Aibu to email school and ask politely whether they could pay a bit more attention to what is being thrown away?

OP posts:
the80sweregreat · 26/05/2021 16:28

I have spent many lunch times trying to get reluctant children to 'eat a bit more for me ' in a primary school.
The minute your back is turned they sneak off. It's hard to supervise every single child. Or they just cry and tell me that ' mum said I dont have to eat it if I don't want to' or tell you they have ' Tummy ache' or some other reason they can't eat it all. I'm sure the staff try their best, but it's so hard and with only an hour to do it all you just can't monitor every one. You would be there all day.
I'm no longer a midday assistant. It's a job that's harder than it looks!
Packed lunches do get eaten a lot better.

Ragwort · 26/05/2021 16:30

Just make him a packed lunch, it's only on Mumsnet that it seems a huge drama to make a sandwich & chuck a piece of fruit and a biscuit into a box Confused.

Original poster
KindergartenKop · 26/05/2021 16:34

They do offer some things he likes. It's only once a week that it's wall to wall potatoes! Their fussy kids option is a jacket potato, which isn't a great solution for him! At home we give him stuff he likes and bits of stuff he doesn't to try. If we have potatoes then we give him a bit or substitute potato smiles or bread. We don't eat a lot of spuds though, we are more rice lovers.

OP posts:
kravestix · 26/05/2021 16:35

@Ragwort

Just make him a packed lunch, it's only on Mumsnet that it seems a huge drama to make a sandwich & chuck a piece of fruit and a biscuit into a box Confused.
This. Fgs, if your kid won't eat school dinners, two choices, make him a packed lunch or he goes hungry.
bookworm20 · 26/05/2021 16:36

I think you are reasonable to ask the school and see what they do there. It could be the lunch supervisor could check on him for a few days and try and encourage.

In my dc's school, especially there were not many lunch supervisors (I think 3), but they would encourage all children to at least try everything on their their plate even if they didnt eat all of it.

I don't understand how schools with 3 or 4 supervisors cannot do this with most of the children who look like they are not eating. Surely they dont just stand around watching?

By doing this my dc tried pretty much everything 'because Mrs X told me to" and therefore started eating loads more than I could get them to try at home! think radishes and beetroot for a start. I was well impressed.

They weren't being forced to eat it, just encouraged and told they had to try just a small amount if they were unsure. All the children treated the same and when a few tried, the others followed suit more easily.

I see no reason why lunch supervisors can't help encourage them to try things. My friends dc school was the opposite to mine and dc never encouraged or told to try things, and they were the same attitude in that they can't force the dc to eat/don't have time/too many dc to supervise etc. Yet I've seen it working in my DC school perfectly.
Seems once theres a pattern/routine/understanding by ALL the children that they should try even a tiny bit, it just becomes something they ALL more easily do.

bookworm20 · 26/05/2021 16:39

Thinking on it though, the dc ALL had the same lunch. There was no chosing off a menu. Exceptions only to those with food allergies or vegetarian etc. And they all sat at the same time and had to stay at table until the whole table were told they could leave. I think in my friends school they have a menu choice and also can leave whenever they feel like it.

Beseigedbykillersquirrels · 26/05/2021 16:42

Just send him in with food he will eat. You're asking over-stretched staff to remember he doesn't like potatoes and which day of the week there is only potatoes on offer and then try (and surely fail) to get him to eat food that you know makes him gag. He's your child. It's up to you to try to get him to eat food he doesn't like or to send him in with food he does like. The MDSAs aren't personal nannies for individual children.

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 26/05/2021 16:43

My Ds is fussy, but I wouldn’t want the supervisors putting pressure on him to eat things he doesn’t like.

I give him a packed lunch on the days he doesn’t like the food - by year 2 he’s tried everything they offer at least once.

You could also move dinner forward so he doesn’t fill up on snacks?

Mooloolabababy · 26/05/2021 16:44

I am a midday supervisor and it's surprising how many children say to their parents that they don't eat anything at school when they definitely do! In our school the children have to ask us if they can have their pudding, we always ask them to eat some more if they haven't eaten much of their food before we let them have pudding but there are those children who just won't eat more dinner (but will definitely scoff their pudding down!). There's only so much you can do, you can't force them to eat anything and letting them eat pudding after eating no dinner is better than them not eating anything at all. I would contact the school and ask them to keep a food diary, that way they can monitor what he is eating.

WorraLiberty · 26/05/2021 16:47

Packed lunches are allowed but that makes so much more work for me as he also has a brother who has school dinners.

So much more work?

Seriously? Confused

year5teacher · 26/05/2021 16:47

When I was an LSA the children had to eat 2/3 of the things on their plate and then put their hand up to be dismissed. Realistically though, there were over 100 children and 5 LSAs so things can be missed. They are paying attention; it’s just impossible to see every single child every single time. YWBU to email.

Notaroadrunner · 26/05/2021 16:48

Packed lunches are allowed but that makes so much more work for me

How will it make so much work for you? Make it the night before, leave it in the fridge and he can chuck it in his bag in the morning. It would take all of 5 minutes to make a wrap/sandwich and thrown in a couple of extra bits that you know he will eat.

Nocutenamesleft · 26/05/2021 16:49

This can’t be real?

You want him supervised and to ask before he throws his lunch in the bin. Don’t want to make him packed lunches because it’s too much work for you?

the80sweregreat · 26/05/2021 16:51

I haven't worked as a midday for a few years but the waste was terrible and the food is very good at our school. Lots of choice, hot nutritious food , most of it ends up in the bins.
They tend to eat more at breakfast time with very little waste. I've often thought that it should be breakfast that is offered for all children and just packed lunches for lunch time as very few children eat it all , but I know this wouldn't be workable and it's much more complicated than this. It is sad seeing it all thrown away though :(
(Not sure what the situation is now since covid though, I think the menus have been changed. )

Sirzy · 26/05/2021 16:51

So you want your child to be forced to eat something he doesn’t like?

Just send him with a packed lunch that way you will know he has foods he likes and what he has eaten

Notavegan · 26/05/2021 16:53

Packed lunches get was sure to make. I freeze a load of picnic type stuff and put in frozen in the morning. I have lots of small tupperwear to put bits into.

PaperMonster · 26/05/2021 17:09

I help out at lunchtime. If they don’t like it, they won’t eat it and I’m not telling anyone to eat stuff they don’t like. And I refuse to give out stickers for clearing their blooming plate also. Seriously, send him in with a packed lunch that he will eat.

PabloSlow · 26/05/2021 17:14

I encourage you to offer your help as a volunteer at lunchtime in DC's school so you can see what goes on. Just for one day. I think it will give you a different perspective.

sapnupuas · 26/05/2021 17:20

I think it's sad that you're reluctant to make him packed lunches as it means more "work" for you when he's clearly going hungry.

The school can't possibly be expected to make sure every child is eating enough. It's your responsibility to ensure he has access to food he likes and will eat.

LotLessBovver · 26/05/2021 17:23

For every parent who expects lunchtime supervisors to make the child eat more, there will be another five who would be outraged that their child missed their playground time because they were made to stay in and eat.

The staff can't win.

Acupofcamus · 26/05/2021 17:25

Send him with a packed lunch. I have 3 DC who have packed lunches so honestly not sure why you’re whining about doing 1 packed lunch, it will take you 5 minutes tops and solves this whole issue. I don’t expect the supervisors to force fussy eaters to eat, no.

3AndStopping · 26/05/2021 17:28

Honestly, I would leave it. & I wouldn’t give him snacks either (fruit, maybe). It just encourages/enables the fussiness. He’ll soon get bored of being hungry.

Myshinynewname · 26/05/2021 17:29

But he doesn't eat the food on offer, so what do you actually want the school to do? If you don't even encourage him to try potato at home YWBU to ask school to do it. Packed lunches take minutes to make, I don't understand why it would be a problem to send him with food he can eat.

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 26/05/2021 17:33

I used to think packed lunches would be a lot of work, but it really isn’t. This maybe be because Ds is now 7 and my youngest, so I tend to have two hands free again.

Even though I make Ds’ sandwich on that “bake at home” french bread in the mornings😂

I Just chuck in a yoghurt/ petit filous, something fruit based and maybe something extra, as the sandwich is then quite substantial.

Exhausted4ever · 26/05/2021 17:39

Come on if your kids that fussy send them in with a packed lunch!