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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Not served alcohol with a meal.

336 replies

GingerFreaker · 25/05/2021 17:57

I'm slightly miffed today.

We went out to lunch. We being grandparents, myself and 19 year old grandson. We booked a table. We ordered a bottle of wine with our meal. They refused to give the strapping 19 year old a glass, because of challenge 25, and the twit did not take his driving licence.

It stupidly "spoilt" a lovely long planned meet up.

Since we can legally buy a 16 year old alcohol with a meal, am I right to be annoyed it was refused today?

A pub chain, if it makes any difference.

OP posts:
FunMcCool · 25/05/2021 19:28

Why wouldn’t they accept his driving license? That’s the only ID I’d have on me...

ToadsThePeanutButterSnob · 25/05/2021 19:29

@moynomore

That's when the waitress got shouty and threatened to remove all wine glasses if she saw him drinking any and she WOULD be watching..

Hmmmm. Sounds like you may be embellishing here.

Also they didn't confirm the OP's son was 19 because by her own admission he didn't have his ID on him.
PyongyangKipperbang · 25/05/2021 19:31

@MagicSummer

I'm with you OP - wine makes the conversation flow more freely! However couldn't someone have given the lad a drink from their own glass and then refilled it?
As I posted above, I have had to ask parties to leave for doing this. The fact that you suggested this is why I do not miss running pubs as I dont have to deal with entitled people who think they can ignore the law.
LH1987 · 25/05/2021 19:32

While I get it’s annoying, these servers are mystery shopped to make sure they are following the rules.

I had a little job when I was a young looking 20 year old buying knives from various branches of a major supermarket.

So in that sense YABU

Iquitit · 25/05/2021 19:33

Funny how the staff in these scenarios are only ever rude a few pages inwhen the OP doesn't get the outraged responses they expected because someone couldn't get their hands on some wine, and are told they are unreasonable.
It's such a tired trump card that arsehole customers like to play when they don't get their own way and are outraged that gasp a service worker wasn't willing to risk anything from a bollocking to prosecution in the name of customer service.

Either take responsibility for your son or teach him how to do so and stop blaming other people.

And in order to have and keep an alcohol license, you have to have and show you're using a challenge policy, you can receive sanctions on your license for not doing so, as well as (everywhere I've worked) get into trouble for not following company policy.
Challenge 21 and 25 are considered best practice, so the most commonly used.

JhsLs · 25/05/2021 19:35

A pub or restaurant can serve a 16 year old one glass of beer, wine or cider with a meal as long as they are accompanied by an adult. Difficulty being whether he could prove he is 16...

DeeleysMum · 25/05/2021 19:37

@AllThatFancyPaintsAsFair

He didn't have it. Plus it would have shown he's only 19, not 25

Which is absolutely fine as it proves he is over 18 and so can be served with alcohol. I hope you don't work in a licenced premises Grin

'They refused to give the strapping 19 year old a glass, because of challenge 25, and the twit did not take his driving licence'.

I don't drink so I don't know the challenge 25 rule, but thanks for your input!

CeibaTree · 25/05/2021 19:37

This makes even less sense with your update - why would the waitress suddenly start shouting and down tools, so she could spend the rest of her shift watching your table? Were there no other customers in the pub?

Benjispruce3 · 25/05/2021 19:38

Yanbu . If he looked over 16, he can have a beer with a meal with adults afaik.

Lipz · 25/05/2021 19:39

So your grandson and then your son who's 19 got asked for Id, he has a driver licence but doesn't drive. Hmm

It happy all over the world, best to ensure that id is carried if you are going to be purchasing alcohol. I'm an old biddy and get asked anywhere I go for Id.

Lipz · 25/05/2021 19:40

*happens

DeeleysMum · 25/05/2021 19:40

@AllThatFancyPaintsAsFairnts sorry that didn't mean to sound like that! ☺️

Cadent · 25/05/2021 19:41

[quote GingerFreaker]@librariesmakeshhhhappen

No. We didn't argue. That's not my style.

Ordered a couple of soft drinks. Ordered a bottle of wine. Confirmed my son was 19, and OK to drink with the meal....

That's when the waitress got shouty and threatened to remove all wine glasses if she saw him drinking any and she WOULD be watching..

To be honest, it was probably amusing to be sat gawping from the other side of the room. But having to deal with my son, and deal with settling him... not so much.

Anyway. Its got a lot of you hyped🤣 Glad to have been of service🤣[/quote]
Still not buying it I'm afraid. Your OP said 19yo not being given a glass 'stupidly' spoilt the lovely meet-up.

The use of 'stupidly' implies that nothing much happened in the grand scheme of things so that's why it was stupid that it spoilt things. Had the waitress been shouty and threatening, you wouldn't have thought what happened stupidly spoilt a meet-up.

Benjispruce3 · 25/05/2021 19:41

Oh he forget his license? Fair enough then. Yabu.

Penchantforfloralpatterns · 25/05/2021 19:42

You were lucky the rest of the table got any alcohol. The fact that you wanted alcohol for a person (who couldn’t prove their age) means the server could reasonably presume you would supply alcohol to that person, that would be a proxy sale and the server could be would have had disciplinary action taken against them and possibly sacked. If the person in question had turned out to be underage the server could be prosecuted.
The previous owners who never checked ID were the ones in the wrong and if that was there normal practice they were probably very lucky not to find themselves in trouble at any point.

PyongyangKipperbang · 25/05/2021 19:44

@Benjispruce3

Yanbu . If he looked over 16, he can have a beer with a meal with adults afaik.
Not without ID and not if its against company policy.

Just because a pub is allowed to serve 16 year olds under certain circumstances does not mean that they are legally required to! I have never worked anywhere that will serve u18's and I have worked for big Pubcos right down to single operator places.

FortniteBoysMum · 25/05/2021 19:47

Even if a 16 year old can have a drink with a meal how do they know his 16 or over without ID? They could loose their licence if he was under age. So many kids these days look older than they are. I am 33 and was asked for ID only lady week when getting dp beers from the shop. Personally I think the lady needs her eyes tested but it did not stop me driving all the way home to go get it. She was doing her job.

phoenixrosehere · 25/05/2021 19:50

Reading your post, YABVU.

How did you confirm your son/grandson’s age if he didn’t have any ID with them? They’re supposed to simply take your word for it?

BigHeadBertha · 25/05/2021 19:51

I will say though that I have had such things happen frequently, as far as not getting what I thought I'd get somewhere. Especially since the pandemic, posted hours are often not the real hours, for example. I tried to finally go clothes shopping after over a year and discovered that the dressing rooms were closed. Some businesses have gone under and you don't find out until you get there. There have also been a lot of problems with the mail. I realize many others have had far worse problems than inconvenience but still, I do sympathize with not being allowed what you thought you'd be allowed to have.

partyatthepalace · 25/05/2021 19:56

I can see it’s an irritation but you are exaggerating the degree - he should be able to enjoy himself without wine

thecatwithnoeyes · 25/05/2021 19:57

@Benjispruce3

Yanbu . If he looked over 16, he can have a beer with a meal with adults afaik.

There is a challenge 25 policy. He has to look over 25, not 16

SchadenfreudePersonified · 25/05/2021 19:59

@SpikeDearheart

I think 'ruined' is overdramatic, bit according to gov.uk "...if you’re 16 or 17 and accompanied by an adult, you can drink (but not buy) beer, wine or cider with a meal." www.gov.uk/alcohol-young-people-law

So as long as he looked at least 16 and the OP was buying, it should have been ok.

Which bit of "Challenge 25 " do you not understand?
DeeleysMum · 25/05/2021 20:00

@therearenogoodusernamesleft. I didn't know that. Good job I don't work in a pub 🤣

bagpuss90 · 25/05/2021 20:01

It can be annoying -my 35 year old old friend was refused a drink when we were out. No offence to her-but she no way looks under 25. She took it as a compliment 🤣 I was really pissed off tho

Bluntness100 · 25/05/2021 20:02

It’s such an unusual thing Op to happen. This waitress, going about her job, suddenly starts shouting for no reason ar all, causes a scene, everyone watching, said she was going to stop working and watch your table, no sorry, she shouted that at you, becayse you said your grand/son was 19 and ok to drink with the meal.

Wow. I mean that’s such an unusual thing to happen. I’m surprised you’re complaining about the booze when you were subjected to this.

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