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AIBU?

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Original poster

Not served alcohol with a meal.

336 replies

GingerFreaker · 25/05/2021 17:57

I'm slightly miffed today.

We went out to lunch. We being grandparents, myself and 19 year old grandson. We booked a table. We ordered a bottle of wine with our meal. They refused to give the strapping 19 year old a glass, because of challenge 25, and the twit did not take his driving licence.

It stupidly "spoilt" a lovely long planned meet up.

Since we can legally buy a 16 year old alcohol with a meal, am I right to be annoyed it was refused today?

A pub chain, if it makes any difference.

OP posts:
newnortherner111 · 25/05/2021 19:10

I am pleased to read of a pub that takes its responsibilities properly. It may have been embarrassing and even unexpected, and trying to blame or criticise the waitress is unreasonable.

Dobbyisahouseelf · 25/05/2021 19:11

Seems like you are getting a bashing OP.

I took it that the pub refused to serve you all a bottle of wine as your GS didn't have ID on him. I thought pubs could serve a glass of wine, shandy or cider for a 16+ if having a meal with adults present. Not sure how a 16 year old would prove their age as my teenager has never taken her passport to a pub if we eat out as a family, although she does have a photograph copy in her phone.

I think the OP was being light hearted saying she was disappointed in not having a glass of wine as no one needs alcohol but lots of people enjoy a glass whilst having a leisurely lunch.

ToadsThePeanutButterSnob · 25/05/2021 19:12

@cariadlet

Talk about making a mountain out of a molehill.

I haven't RT (whole)FT so might have missed this, but was it Wetherspoon's? They're very strict.

When dd was 16, we had lunch there and she asked me if she could have a cider. When the waitress came over with the drinks (we'd ordered on the app) she asked who it was for, how old dd was and then refused to serve her.

I said that it would be legal for her to consume a cider with her meal but I was told that it was against company policy.

The waitress was polite, I accepted their rules and dd was a bit disappointed but didn't make a big deal out of it. There was no awkwardness or embarrassment let alone having the meal spoiled.

Dd's 18 now and knows that she needs to take id with her if there's any possibility of her wanting to drink alcohol.

I was once asked for ID in Wetherspoons after I had already bought my drink and had sat down with it. Luckily I had it on me but I did think bit late for that mate Grin.
Gwenhwyfar · 25/05/2021 19:13

"Not sure how a 16 year old would prove their age "

I suppose they don't get NI cards any more?

Inastatus · 25/05/2021 19:13

@Mrgrinch

Who shares one bottle of wine between 6 people?
@Mrgrinch - what’ you’d want more than a thimble full with your meal?! I think on here you’d be accused of having a drink problem 😅
AlternativePerspective · 25/05/2021 19:13

I haven't RT (whole)FT so might have missed this, but was it Wetherspoon's? They're very strict. my 18 year old was in one of those the other day and he said that none of them were asked for ID, including two of them who are only 17.

thecatwithnoeyes · 25/05/2021 19:14

@Gwenhwyfar

"Not sure how a 16 year old would prove their age "

I suppose they don't get NI cards any more?

You can get a provisional when you are 15.

Perfect and widely accepted for of ID

ToadsThePeanutButterSnob · 25/05/2021 19:15

@Dobbyisahouseelf

Seems like you are getting a bashing OP.

I took it that the pub refused to serve you all a bottle of wine as your GS didn't have ID on him. I thought pubs could serve a glass of wine, shandy or cider for a 16+ if having a meal with adults present. Not sure how a 16 year old would prove their age as my teenager has never taken her passport to a pub if we eat out as a family, although she does have a photograph copy in her phone.

I think the OP was being light hearted saying she was disappointed in not having a glass of wine as no one needs alcohol but lots of people enjoy a glass whilst having a leisurely lunch.

They can but that doesn't mean they have to. Different places have different policies and a lot will simply refuse to serve under 18's alcohol full stop.
Inastatus · 25/05/2021 19:15

@wildeverose - not interested in watching the inbetweeners ta and you are still wrong.

Mamanyt · 25/05/2021 19:16

AH! High functioning Autism puts both the lack of ready ID and the response (which, it seems, with further reading, may have been over the top) in a different light, doesn't it? I now change my entire outlook on this. I do suggest that he get whatever ID is necessary, and that, if you think it better, you carry it on outings for him. He should not have been spoken to roughly, regardless.

Forgottenyeti · 25/05/2021 19:16

So really it was you, your parents and your son? I was flummoxed there for a minute.

Your son needs to get used to having ID. This could happen for years and years.

Cadent · 25/05/2021 19:16

[quote GingerFreaker]@bluntness100

That was exactly what the waitress accused us of planning to do, and threatened to remove the wine glasses so we couldn't.

As it was, my son had already ordered a coke.

This was all behind a thick mask, so she was shouting. It was quite the spectacle. And embarrasing.

I'm going to stop thinking about this now. I guess you just really had to be there. 😁[/quote]
I’m afraid I think this would have been in your op had this happened.

Original poster
GingerFreaker · 25/05/2021 19:16

@librariesmakeshhhhappen

No. We didn't argue. That's not my style.

Ordered a couple of soft drinks. Ordered a bottle of wine. Confirmed my son was 19, and OK to drink with the meal....

That's when the waitress got shouty and threatened to remove all wine glasses if she saw him drinking any and she WOULD be watching..

To be honest, it was probably amusing to be sat gawping from the other side of the room. But having to deal with my son, and deal with settling him... not so much.

Anyway. Its got a lot of you hyped🤣 Glad to have been of service🤣

OP posts:
ShowOfHands · 25/05/2021 19:16

Ohh op. You really are getting a drubbing on here. It is tough, particularly when ASD is a factor, if a planned trip out does not run smoothly and for this to happen publicly, I can understand a bit of discomfort.

I think "spoilt" being highlighted and the phrase slightly miffed did indicate the tone of your post but sadly, on AIBU people do like to take reactions to the extreme. Which means you are now a family of raging alcoholics, your son was dragged up and you deserve a proper telling off.

DM1209 · 25/05/2021 19:16

I'm here for the comments.

Brilliant.

Grin
PyongyangKipperbang · 25/05/2021 19:17

YABU

I used to get this at work all the time, including once when a very aggressive man shoved his phone in my face to show me the law that allowed his 16 year old dd a glass of wine with her meal. Except that a) she had no id and b) it was company policy to not serve alcohol to under 18's .

In the end they snuck her wine and I had to chuck them out after 2 warnings.

Most places have this policy now as it removes the ambiguity over what is a meal (remember that from last year?! Scotch egg anyone?) and simply do not serve to U18's

He didnt have his ID, he looked under 25, he didnt get a drink. I really dont see the issue here and how it could spoil a lunch out that a 19 year old didnt get a single small glass of wine.

ToadsThePeanutButterSnob · 25/05/2021 19:18

[quote GingerFreaker]@librariesmakeshhhhappen

No. We didn't argue. That's not my style.

Ordered a couple of soft drinks. Ordered a bottle of wine. Confirmed my son was 19, and OK to drink with the meal....

That's when the waitress got shouty and threatened to remove all wine glasses if she saw him drinking any and she WOULD be watching..

To be honest, it was probably amusing to be sat gawping from the other side of the room. But having to deal with my son, and deal with settling him... not so much.

Anyway. Its got a lot of you hyped🤣 Glad to have been of service🤣[/quote]
So did she ask for ID at all or just randomly start shouting at him?

Thisisjaaam · 25/05/2021 19:18

So your autistic son who doesn’t go anywhere without you is a ‘twit’ for not having ID? Surely it was your job to remember it if the alcohol meant that much to you

RichTeaCheddars · 25/05/2021 19:18

Not all licensed premises will serve under 18s with a meal.
An NI card isn't an accepted form of proof of age ID. A provisional license, driving licence or a passport are most common.

Still not sure why it spoilt the meal though..

ChaToilLeam · 25/05/2021 19:21

OP, having read your update, the staff sound absolutely ridiculous. There’s no need for them to be rude or to shout.

Where I now live, you can have beer or wine at 16, no problem. Spirits can only be served those 18 and above. None of this Challenge 25 business and none of this nonsense about checking everybody’s ID even if they are clearly old enough. Much simpler.

Bluntness100 · 25/05/2021 19:23

Ordered a couple of soft drinks. Ordered a bottle of wine. Confirmed my son was 19, and OK to drink with the meal....That's when the waitress got shouty and threatened to remove all wine glasses if she saw him drinking any and she WOULD be watching

Gosh. That’s unusual waitress behaviour 😂😂😂

Mothership4two · 25/05/2021 19:23

As your grandson can legally drink with a meal, I would be a bit confused. Did you challenge them OP? From 16 we have allowed our son an alcoholic drink when having a meal in a pub and it's never been questioned in any type of pub, chain or privately owned. Often he has a Coke anyway. He is 6'4" so maybe they think he is older, but he doesn't look particularly mature.

From what you said, it sounds like it was handled badly, so yes I would be miffed. If it had been done politely, and it's the pub policy, it wouldn't have bothered me.

TillyTopper · 25/05/2021 19:26

YABVU and over reacting I think. So what if he couldn't have a glass of wine? Why does alcohol make or break the meal anyway? I've not had any alcohol for 3.5 years (due to it being a migraine trigger for me) but I've had fantastic meals, not been spoilt at all.

ToadsThePeanutButterSnob · 25/05/2021 19:27

As your grandson can legally drink with a meal, I would be a bit confused.

Legally yes however different places have their own policies. A lot will simply outright refuse alcohol to under 18's even with a meal and it is their right to do so. Company policy is not the servers fault.

moynomore · 25/05/2021 19:27

That's when the waitress got shouty and threatened to remove all wine glasses if she saw him drinking any and she WOULD be watching..

Hmmmm. Sounds like you may be embellishing here.

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