to veto a godparent?

[culfeather]

Dp wants his sister to be the new baby's godmother. I do not.
She is bossy, controlling, opinionated and beleives in all sorts of new age therapies that I do not.
she gave my current baby a new age gift on his burth that I threw straight in the bin because it was so mad.
I really hate to think she would look after my child if somethign happened to us.
but I have no alternatives, having used up my only relative on the first child and DP says we have no choice as it would look odd if we chose someone other than her.
but she could not give a shit about our first child unless its trying to tell us how to parent him....
do you think I should just give in to keep the peace?

No...choose a good friend.

No you need to be happy with the godparents you have in place for your children, although I haven't seen my godparents in years (I'm 23) should anything happen to my mum who is a widow I know that I could count on them to offer me support and guidance - to listen to me and help me and not to tell/force me how to do something etc - just say to you DP that at this moment in time you are not happy with her being god parent to your youngest - could you not have the same god parents for the second baby as the first - I know that my younger sister and I have different god parents but when I was younger it always worried me as I thought that if something happened it would mean we would be split up. Hugs

I don't think you should choose her if you feel that strongly, but maybe a compromise would be to have her AND a friend, that way you and DH would both be happy.
As for who would look after your DC if something happened to you that is a completely seperate issue, you need to make a will and appoint guardians, but they do not have to be godparents by any means, so don't let that consideration muddy the waters.
FWIW my DC each have four godparents, two family, two friends - some are good with them, some not so, but with four at least you can guarantee that a couple will take an interest in them at least!

culfeather - what do you see the role of godparent as being? You don't like this woman. You don't like the present she bought for your child. You don't share her philosophy and outlook on life. I really don't understand why you would want her to take on a role which is actually about promising to provide spiritual guidance in your child's life.

Yes I want to know too

The present that is

Nah YANBU.

Xp's sister actually volunteered herself.

'Me and me mum were thinking, how about if me and our Dave [her 50 yr old boyfriend who she met because he was a client when she was a prostitute] could be godparents?' were her words. I muttered something about not having any godparents and left it.

She is already your lo's aunty, that should be enough.

Are you actually having the baby baptised - sounds likke it would be the last thing she wants to do is stand there in church and make all those promises if she's that New-age-y.

She could be a non-goddy godparent. That's the arrangement I have - I wasn't allowed to be announced as one in church, not being baptised myself, but I fulfil the role in every other way. Not sure why being a wacky New Ager is any dafter than any other spiritual belief, to be honest...

I had veto on all the DSs' godparents. I agree woth the others though - why are you having your child baptised? If you think she would fit in with those ideas then let her be the godmother. If she won't, then you and your DH need to talk about it.

FWIW, we didn't choose any relatives to be godparents to our DSs as we knew they would all be there for them anyway

yes we are going to church and no I don't understand how she can believe in the new age tossery and her religion as well either. Goodness knows what advice she would give the child as it grows up.

the present involved crystals and angels to pin to the cot blanket to watch over the new baby...I wasn't convinced it wasn't a sophisticated listening device to see if I was doing things right...

I had a guardian angel pin on the hood of ds's moses basket!!

That's not new agey & hippy.

I think you were rather ungrateful to throw it in the bin tbh.

well we are each entitled to our own beliefs.

Mine do not include mad badges representing insidious otherworld influences that encourage you not to take responsibility for your own life but believe in some form of karma directing what happens to you on Earth.

and I am not keen on the whole baptism thing either but that is important to my DH if not to me

Tmmj...see above

nope...still my baby
I get to have a say over anything that will affect his/her life on the future

Stick to your guns, Culfeather, I think you have the right to veto anyone if you feel that strongly. As would dh if you proposed someone he hated. Plus you are the one who has pushed/is going to push the baby out of your fanjo...

Godparents don't have to be related, you could choose a couple of good friends.

I don't believe in God but if someone had bought my new baby a bible or a cross out of love I would not have thrown it in the bin!

Saying that, if you don't think she would make a good Godparent you should not have to have her.