To want drivers to be considerate

[hatescarseats]

For some reason my children despise carseats when babies. They scream that awful cry as though they are being tortured which makes me impatient as a driver as I just want to stop and get them out. I never tail any cars but I will use the horn if they don't move when they should eg when light turns green and driver in front not realised

My son threw up in the car yesterday. Naturally I pulled over and cleaned him up as much as possible then wanted to get home as quickly as possible. Less than 10mins away but feels like torture when they are screaming. Driver in front stopped in the middle of the road - not pulled over but stopped right in the middle. Cars parked on both sides so he/she was not parking as nowhere to parked. I beeped (short beep, not aggressively) and they put hazards on for 2 seconds, stayed there then started driving about 20 seconds later. They then drove at 10-15 mph for the rest of the drive to irritate me because I had beeped at them. I was stuck behind them for over a mile while my poor child was screaming in distress and had vomit on them. I was not going to overtake as not safe to do so. I kept my distance as did not want to annoy them but I still cant believe someone could be so petty.

AIBU to want drivers to consider the circumstances of others? I could not avoid the car journey/use public transport - I do drive as little as possible as his screaming is absolute torture but it makes me so upset that he had to scream for that much longer because a driver was so unbelievably petty for no reason.

I think your sentence “unbelievably petty for no reason” also describes you beeping them OP.

It is stressful when driving with an unhappy baby, we all agree with this but if it’s making you feel angry (beeping drivers when they don’t drive off at a green light as you said you do) it’s saying more about you than other drivers tbh.

Agree with @YellowLunatic and the previous post.

As I said earlier OP, you are making the problem in your car, everyone else's problem, by transferring your frustration onto your horn and chivvying everyone else.

Roads have delays. They also have (often unpredictable) other users.

Factor those in when you set out.

Incorrect usage or not, I don't know anyone in real life who doesn't know the difference between a quick short beep e.g driver in front can you pay attention to the traffic lights etc. And a long prolonged beep e.g driver you just cut me up nearly causing an accident and are a total arsehole.

If someone was sat at traffic lights looking at their phone and had missed the lights changing to green, I would absolutely beep them. Are people saying they would just sit waiting behind until the driver ahead bothered looking? Most people are just crap inconsiderate drivers, it's not because they have some really valid reason for holding up traffic.

OP i probably would have beeped in your situation too. That said, it would be practical to learn to keep a cool head with screaming baby in the car rather than let your anxiety take over.

YABU to allow yourself to be distracted by your children or become an "impatient" driver because of their noise.

If you cannot drive coolly and calmly despite the noise your children make or because they've been sick or whatever, you should not be on the road at all.

You’re coming across as agressive and self-centred , so the opposite of considerate... so yes I do agree drivers should be more considerate

I managed to break that rule by beeping when two cars on the opposite side of the road decided to overtake a parked car on their side and I had to brake suddenly. It was dark so I didn't see the second car was a police car (obviously without sirens or blue lights on). Sirens on, u turn and I had to pull over

Bit surprised about this, I would have thought this was exactly the time when beeping is required - ie someone is racing towards you on your side of the road. And if they don't have sirens/blue lights on, how do you know it's a police car in the dark? Are you meant to let them crash into you?

But generally the adage is: if you've time to beep, you've time to brake, so devote time to the latter.

God, you sound like an extremely aggressive driver to me. And one of those "mummy" drivers who believe their needs completely and absolutely trump everyone else's.

If someone was sat at traffic lights looking at their phone and had missed the lights changing to green, I would absolutely beep them. Are people saying they would just sit waiting behind until the driver ahead bothered looking

Well this is MN, so people like to be sanctimonious, but given the poor driving I see every week, at least some must be MNers. I usually try a small flash of my headlights at traffic lights to attract their attention in the hope they'll notice the lights have changed. If it went on for a while I would beep.

Although I saw a great one last week. Right hand turn, most people wanting to go right, but the road isn't wide enough for two lanes so if you want to go straight on you have to wait until people can go right. Guy in car wanting to go straight on was beeping everyone. I don't know what he thought we could do! Clearly we were just meant to cross in front of the oncoming traffic....

You sound like a dick driver. If driving with your children is so stressful, stop. You can't drive safely when that wound up.

If the road was clear why didn't you just indicate and drive round them? Why be a prick about it?

Beeping your horn at other drivers is aggressive and one day you might do it to the wrong person who’ll get out of the car and wallop you one. You sound like a selfish, entitled twunt to be honest.

I'm a learner driver (test ready) and getting beeped at is fucking stressful if you delay for a second or two at lights etc.Yabu for doing that to other drivers just because your child is having a meltdown.You are not more important than other drivers.

Your title says that you want other drivers to be considerate. How about you be considerate of them? Your baby isn't going to any harm if he cries for a few minutes. You have no idea why the other driver stopped, just as he has no idea your baby was crying.

You have no idea why they stopped. They possibly are one of those entitled twats who thinks their needs are more important than everyone else’s, but you sound like one of those too so it’s really not an issue.

If you beeped me for stopping for a few seconds (Which I personally would only do with a sensible reason) then I’d drive slowly too.

You sound very angry OP and having a car hating child is fairly common. You sound like you think that your the only one.

@hatescarseats

Would you not beep your horn if road is empty and someone comes to a standstill in the middle of the road for no reason and with no warning?

Absolutely not why would you use your horn in this situation?

How is the driver in front of you meant to know that you have a screaming/vomiting child in the car?

Absolutely not why would you use your horn in this situation?

Because it's illegal.

A horn should only be used when warning someone of any danger due to another vehicle or any other kind of danger, and not to indicate your annoyance.
It is illegal to use a horn on a moving vehicle on a restricted road, basically a road that has street lights and a 30 mph limit, between the times of 11:30 p.m. and 07:00 a.m.

@trevthecat

You sound like a dick driver. If driving with your children is so stressful, stop. You can't drive safely when that wound up.

Yep. OP you sound like a terrible driver.

Bet they stopped to let a cat cross the road.

Glad you've taken on board the discussions about horn usage, please also revisit your idea of a safe distance between cars. It sounds like you're driving much too close. At 20mph, you'll travel 1.5 car lengths before you even start to brake. You'll feel less anxious if you know you've given yourself plenty of space to react to anything that happens in front of you, even with the distraction of a screaming baby.

Sympathies with the screaming children, mine both screamed for the first few years. It does get better though.

Just had another thought, perhaps the other driver stopped in a safe place to allow you to pass as you were tailgating prior to when you admitted to tailgating after they drove off (“at least one car length”)

Maybe the other drivers post could have been:

I was driving along at a safe speed when I noticed a car behind me driving way too close, I couldn’t even see their number plate in my rear view mirror. I had children in the car and was concerned for their safety if I had to stop suddenly so I found a safe place to stop to allow them to pass. I put my hazard lights on but the car behind had pulled so close that they couldn’t have steered round me without reversing. I waited a little longer to see if that’s what they were going to do but they didn’t and sounded their horn.

I then drove on at a reduced speed as they continued to tailgate, maybe a cars length from my bumper. If I had to stop suddenly then for my children’s safety I would rather have a minor rear end shunt at slower speeds than one at a much higher speed. I increased my speed once they turned off and the danger had passed. Was I being unreasonable to drive cautiously to protect my children?

It's interesting what drivers perceive as considerate.

I drive daily, and some reasonable distances at times due to my work.

I see a dozen... no, maybe two dozen instances a day at least of people approaching roundabouts, no signal, doing a right or left hand turn. There I am trying to keep the traffic flow moving. What would help me? A little signal perhaps!

I see people doing 55 -60 mph n the middle lane of the A3, completely oblivious to the fact that the legal way to overtake them means crossing into the third lane, going round them and crossing back two lanes. "Not their problem" I guess. But what would help the traffic keep moving? To stay left!

So yeah. Considerate doesn't always mean not driving slowly.

I would never beep learner driver. But let's accept that some people do break the law by reading their phones at the traffic lights, they get distracted on SM and don't notice the lights have gone green. If a police officer saw them that would be three points minimum and an increase in insurance premium. To me a very short and polite beep is the best way out if this. Obviously other MN'ers would wait until the other driver had finished on SM and was ready to continue their journey.

I'd beep at traffic lights once it was clear that the driver in front hasn't noticed that they've gone green, but I allow quite a lot of leeway so that it's effectively a last resort. I think that's arguably within the rules anyway: I'm letting the other driver know I'm there and that they're obstructing me (and everyone else).

I get drivers beeping when we put our toddler in the car seat, we live in a one way road and the car seat is on the side of the road. It is annoying, I sometimes just sit my child and close the door for cars to pass but today it was even worse, the driver beeped when we were about to open the door and he was really far away, I moved to the back of the car with my child and he stopped, I asked what happened, why are you beeping and he mocked me and told me to F off. Really unnecessary, the whole thing was looking for an argument, the looks also suggested that, I got really upset. What do they win being so nasty?