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AIBU?

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Original poster

To want drivers to be considerate

100 replies

hatescarseats · 24/05/2021 22:27

For some reason my children despise carseats when babies. They scream that awful cry as though they are being tortured which makes me impatient as a driver as I just want to stop and get them out. I never tail any cars but I will use the horn if they don't move when they should eg when light turns green and driver in front not realised

My son threw up in the car yesterday. Naturally I pulled over and cleaned him up as much as possible then wanted to get home as quickly as possible. Less than 10mins away but feels like torture when they are screaming. Driver in front stopped in the middle of the road - not pulled over but stopped right in the middle. Cars parked on both sides so he/she was not parking as nowhere to parked. I beeped (short beep, not aggressively) and they put hazards on for 2 seconds, stayed there then started driving about 20 seconds later. They then drove at 10-15 mph for the rest of the drive to irritate me because I had beeped at them. I was stuck behind them for over a mile while my poor child was screaming in distress and had vomit on them. I was not going to overtake as not safe to do so. I kept my distance as did not want to annoy them but I still cant believe someone could be so petty.

AIBU to want drivers to consider the circumstances of others? I could not avoid the car journey/use public transport - I do drive as little as possible as his screaming is absolute torture but it makes me so upset that he had to scream for that much longer because a driver was so unbelievably petty for no reason.

OP posts:
Chemenger · 25/05/2021 07:35

Do as you would be done by. The only person’s driving you can control is your own so start by being more considerate yourself. Trying to bully other drivers with your horn will only provoke them to annoy you more, as you are learning.

Sparklingbrook · 25/05/2021 07:36

This sounds like a case of (as my Mother would say) 'six of one and half a dozen of the other'.
You don't know what was going on in their car for them to stop, and they couldn't know about your vomit situation.
You shouldn't have honked, they shouldn't have driven slowly.

PhilCornwall1 · 25/05/2021 07:46

I stayed at least 1 car length distance behind throughout the slow drive.

And one car length is going to leave you enough time to react if something unfolds quickly in front of you?

TheoMeo · 25/05/2021 07:49

Beeping is something usually done by arsey men who feel you are daring to slow their royal right to tailgate, intimidate, harass others on the road - so I'd avoid beeping.

MoppaSprings · 25/05/2021 07:49

I would have also used my horn.

I’m pretty sure you are allowed to use the horn to alert other road users to your presence.

But you can’t really moan about no consideration from then when you didn’t show them any.

They could have spilled a drink, their child could have been about to vomit and they were trying to sort a bag, they could have been sneezing, had vision impaired due to dirt in the eye... or could have been fannying about with their phone.

If someone is driving too close to me I slow down( 1 car length isn’t really enough space.) but they could have just been a very petty driver.

No point giving it much head space, especially if you say you didn’t realise they were doing it on purpose until you turned off.

Sparklingbrook · 25/05/2021 07:52

Just to be clear for those that do not know how to read

Charming. Confused

CoffeeCakey · 25/05/2021 07:54

@hatescarseats

Would you not beep your horn if road is empty and someone comes to a standstill in the middle of the road for no reason and with no warning?
No, I'd be pleased they'd warned me of whatever it was they could see and I couldn't.
Pinetreesfall · 25/05/2021 07:55

Tackle the child in car seat issue and the travel sickness then your journeys will be much less stressful - cars stopping in the road or whatever.
We often get stuck behind tractors for miles - crying children or not! 45 mins was the record!

BadMotherLover · 25/05/2021 07:56

There are a lot of drivers out there (especially at the moment with COVID) who are really too nervous to be driving, they can get really flustered, really quickly and start panicking. I find it really frustrating. The whole 10 mph passive aggressive thing is on another level of course, it is despicable.

Sparklingbrook · 25/05/2021 07:58

Beeping your horn (other than in an emergency situation where someone's in danger of an accident) is generally a sign of irritation and will be taken as such.
People that honk when the person in front of them at the traffic lights doesn't pull off the nano second it turns to amber etc

DysmalRadius · 25/05/2021 08:06

Consideration cuts both ways - if you assume the worst of your fellow drivers then you are creating bad feeling where none needs to be.

Bagelsandbrie · 25/05/2021 08:10

You need to stop beeping your horn.

It’s like no one is allowed to have any sort of issue or emergency except for you.

Drivers slow down or stop for all sorts of reasons. You need to have a little patience even if it’s difficult with a screaming child.

The only time you should use your horn is really if there’s a danger of an accident.

ab21 · 25/05/2021 08:12

@MrsTulipTattsyrup

Sounds like the car stopped (broke down) and then allowed them to restart in ‘limp home’ mode - meaning it can only be driven slowly and you don’t stop again until you get home or to a garage. (This has happened to me).

You really need to get your impatience under control when driving. Your horn shouldn’t be used as you are and you’ll be booked if a traffic officer catches you at it. You sound like an accident waiting to happen.

I managed to break that rule by beeping when two cars on the opposite side of the road decided to overtake a parked car on their side and I had to brake suddenly. It was dark so I didn't see the second car was a police car (obviously without sirens or blue lights on). Sirens on, u turn and I had to pull over.

I'm now fully versed in the etiquette of horn usage. I was sufficiently apologetic to escape a fine or points. I decided not to mention that I still thought it was technically my right of way. Some things are best left!

Ignoring my past experience, I would have given a polite beep in your circumstances as sometimes drivers don't realise you're behind them. Provided you weren't tailgating them as you both drove off, the low speed seems a little unnecessary although perhaps they had warning lights on their car.

Chemenger · 25/05/2021 08:19

I’m genuinely curious; how do I tell the difference between a polite beep and an aggressive one?

AbsolutelyPatsy · 25/05/2021 08:20

i came out of a car park and round the bend came a speeding car and continued to be up my tail, i wish drivers could be more aware

AbsolutelyPatsy · 25/05/2021 08:22

it was rude of you to beep your horn op, and unnecessary.

SoupDragon · 25/05/2021 08:25

which makes me impatient as a driver

Can you not see the irony of this in the context of your thread title?

Cadburyflakeicecream · 25/05/2021 08:31

You need to stop driving your kids until their sickness improves if you are getting so uptight when driving them.

I had a puker and screamer I have every sympathy but you need to learn to tune it out. And only travel with them in the car when you absolutely have to.

Ivy48 · 25/05/2021 08:32

You want people to be considerate but aren’t considerate of other people. You sound like a dickhead driver. It’s not others fault your baby was sick, perhaps you should’ve pulled over and sorted the baby out rather than rush other drivers and become a hazard.
One day you’ll cause an accident from your actions

ab21 · 25/05/2021 08:34

@Chemenger

I’m genuinely curious; how do I tell the difference between a polite beep and an aggressive one?
Polite beep is the shortest, quietest beep you can do when you just touch the horn. Aggressive beep is a long, full volume job...
SoupDragon · 25/05/2021 08:36

Polite beep is the shortest, quietest beep you can do when you just touch the horn. Aggressive beep is a long, full volume job...

Horns don't have adjustable volume do they? Anyway, a "short beep" from an impatient driver is definitely aggressive.

Cadburyflakeicecream · 25/05/2021 08:40

What @Ivy48 said. You want consideration from others but you’re not considerate yourself.

Your stress and anger and frustration is palpable and that does not a good driver make.

Thisisjaaam · 25/05/2021 08:44

The inconsiderate driver here is you.

Zzelda · 25/05/2021 08:57

I beeped my horn after they were stopped for more than 30 seconds in the middle of a completely clear road - no oncoming traffic that they were letting pass, no-one reversing, no pedestrians

So why didn't you just drive round them?

DogInATent · 25/05/2021 08:57

Definitely check your idea of a safe distance to the car in front with someone else OP. If you've a persistent problem with slow drivers it's quite likely that what you think is safe from the position of the car behind is uncomfortably close to someone in the car in front. If someone's behind me and not keeping a safe distance, then I'm less likely to speed up and more likely to drop to a speed that is safe for the distance that they're leaving between us.

If someone's stopped in the middle of the road, you've no idea why. And you're not telling us why it wasn't possible/safe for you to go around them.

Or were you already too close up behind them? - in which case you really do need to consider your safety distances, and think about maybe tyres-and-tarmac when pulling up behind a stationary vehicle.

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