If you had a chronically ill adult DC and you could help them never work again, would you ?

[justinadob]

Would you, if you had multi millions?

Would not working really benifit them? I mean does work give them a social life, feeling of independence, etc?

I think honestly it would depend on how many children I had, what the exact condition of the ill child is, what my current situation was, etc etc. So too little information to make a decision here.

I take it you’re the chronically ill adult in question here?

Without question, even without being a multi millionaire.

I believe that working is essential to self-esteem. So not necessarily.

But if I had millions, yes I would help them be stable, mortgage-free house, and perhaps talk to them about what work they could manage and would bring them fulfilment (part-time, from home, etc) and pay for any qualifications or start-up fees that would help with that.

Work is not the be-all and end-all of existence. I'd help them in whatever way felt constructive and that they felt was constructive - and if that was to be work-free, so be it.
Money can buy so much but needs to be used for a person's whole well-being.

No it's actually nothing to do with me. But a friend who's condition is up and down at the moment and deteriorates over time.

Struggles with work stress and future money worries could be wiped out by very wealthy parents who refuse to help.

Yes, I think so. The PIP system is cruel and punishing and it would remove that horrible experience for them.

If they were able to do something, even one day a week or volunteering etc, I'd encourage them to do so for their own self development and to stop them feeling isolated, but what a gift to be able to give someone - being able to do what they can, not what they have been told they should by a capitalist society that doesn't cater to chronically ill or disabled people and their need for flexibility, support and adjustments.

I would probably help to some extent but a lot would depend on the context. Someone who was a chronic overspender would probably not find me paying of their debts without me seeing a commitment to change. I think some work or voluntary work is essential to a lot of people's mental health too.

Yes, I wouldn't have to be a millionaire. If I had disposable income and it would help my disabled child only have to work part time, then I would help do that. I'm my Adult DD's carer, always have been. It's cut down the amount that I could work, but that's just what hand life dealt me.

Work isn't essential to self esteem. Being disabled and struggling in an unsupportive environment is the worse position to be in. Being surrounded by people who think work is the be all and end all would crush you, if you knew that one day you wouldn't be able to work because of health issues.

Her parents are shit.

Where are all these parents with multi millions coming from. First the OP who wanted to leave her multi million pound business to 1 DC only now this.

I would hope every parent would say yes. I’m chronically ill and I know for a fact my mum would give everything she had to stop me struggling at work. Being disabled is awful and I wouldn’t wish it on my worst nightmare.

Absolutely.

Yes, without a doubt.

How wealthy is wealthy though? It would take a lot to be able to give up work altogether and without more context it’s hard to comment on your friend’s situation. Working is often good for mental health so facilitating someone not to work isn’t necessarily a good thing even if they can afford it. Depends on illness, whether it is life limiting, the situation of the parents etc.

Well it would depend on many factors

My DB is chronically ill with a mental illness but arranging it so he didn’t have to work would be the worst thing we could do for him

I wish I could for my relative who does struggle a lot with working and chronic illness. DP works from home so not as hard for him.

Per PP, it depends on a big range of factors, not least whether not ever working again would be good for them. Work is not essential to self-esteem, but purpose, learning, and social connection are, and for most people these are found through work or some sort of work-like activity, like studying or volunteering.

If they suffered from money worries and I was in a position to buy outright a secure home for life for them, for instance, I probably would. Assuming that there was a realistic and healthy plan for how they would subsequently run their life and finances. This is not a simple question though. A lot of people who have become really wealthy off their own backs struggle with the question of how to help their DC grow up effectively knowing that if they chose they could probably never work.

It is not up to his parents to help. I get stressed at work, have been a lone parent working, I have had sleepless nights, but I think it would be unreasonable to ask parents to help.
You say he is stressed, but stress at work now is very common.
His parents refuse to help, do they feel they he would be better off working?
Sorry to sound harsh, but he is a adult and needs to find coping strategies to help himself. You say they are wealthy but the money may be tied up in other things.

Yes I would.
With money you get the luxury of options, and she would have the option to work through choice.

I think there is also a question of whether other siblings are involved, what might happen once the parents died etc. I honestly don’t think it’s as clear cut as the OP might otherwise suggest. What happens if you help one child with a chronic condition and then another sibling has cancer or goes through a messy divorce etc?

It depends on the condition but I think I would try and give them something like a mortgage free house so that their living costs were greatly reduced but they still needed to work part time. Everyone I know with chronic illness manages it better whilst having something to focus on like work or study but full time work is often too much. This would hopefully be the right balance.

Of course if not working was indeed the best for them. Alternatively I would use my money to help them find a lower paying, more rewarding, but less stressful job. Being totally unemployed may not be the best solution and I say that as someone who hasn't worked outside the home for years.

Yes.
If I were wealthy enough I would give the option.
I work part time due to illness and would Jack it in today if I could afford it.

Absolutely. I’d encourage volunteering/studying in something they really enjoy, or taking up a couple of hobbies to keep busy, though.

Yes I would.