To think saying someone ‘needs a good slapping’ is wrong?

[MeAndThe]

Do you think that if someone annoys you for some reason that it’s okay to say ‘they need a good slapping’?

I don’t really think this sort of language should be seen as okay and passed off as just something people say, but I know some people feel differently. So just wondering if I’m in the minority.

YABU - it’s ok to say someone needs a good slapping

YANBU - it’s not ok to say someone needs a good slapping

Agree with you, I wince a bit when I read it.

It's an awful sentiment.

Well, do you feel more people end up slapped because of the use of the phrase? Enjoy the richness of language.

I've never heard it but I often use, 'I need a good kick up the arse' when talking about motivating myself to do tasks I don't want to do. I guess it's the same thing really.

Well, do you feel more people end up slapped because of the use of the phrase? Enjoy the richness of language.

The only people I’ve heard say it in real life have definitely been those who do hit others. Obviously I don’t know what happens when people use it on forums such as this.

I've never heard it but I often use, 'I need a good kick up the arse' when talking about motivating myself to do tasks I don't want to do. I guess it's the same thing really.

I think it’s different if you say it about yourself as there’s no threat.

Saying it doesn’t mean you will actually do it

Personally I see 'kick up the arse' as a flowery meaningless phrase - no one is actually going to give someone a kick up the arse except in panto. But 'needs a good slapping' does sound genuinely aggressive to me.

It's not literal though, is it? Not in the very vast majority of cases.

It's something people say to convey the strength of how angry someone else's behaviour makes them.

They wouldn't actually do it.

Although, in the few cases where they do obviously mean it, it makes me wince.

I have confused myself now.

Upon reflection, I think it's one where context is important to how you feel about it.

But is it ok to say it being as it can come across as threatening. I know my child’s school disciplines children for language like this as it’s seen as threatening. But on forums such as this it seems to be allowed. I think it’s aggressive and shouldn’t be encouraged.

I have confused myself now.

🤣🤣🤣 I know what you mean. I could say it and I would be no threat to anyone because I’ve never hit anyone and never would. But from others it could be something completely different.
I suppose it’s because it COULD be something more, that I’m uncomfortable with it.

I don't like it, but I admit I'm sensitive due to a history of DV.

But 'needs a good slapping' does sound genuinely aggressive to me.

Yes, I feel the same.

As someone who was often on the receiving end f a good slapping from both parents and (once he was bigger than me) younger brother I have to say the phrase makes me feel sick.

I absolutely detest it. I admit I'm such a coward and if I heard another person use this sentence IRL, I would be extremely uncomfortable

@WineAcademy

I don't like it, but I admit I'm sensitive due to a history of DV.

To me this is one important reason why it isn't acceptable as a phrase - your history of DV is not rare (sadly).

Of course YANBU. It normalises the language of physical abuse.

How do people feel about it being said about, or towards, children? Say, a woman's new(ish) boyfriend saying it about her ten year old DD?

@SpindleWhorl

How do people feel about it being said about, or towards, children? Say, a woman's new(ish) boyfriend saying it about her ten year old DD?

It's definitely not ok. This would ring serious alarm balls surely

@SpindleWhorl

How do people feel about it being said about, or towards, children? Say, a woman's new(ish) boyfriend saying it about her ten year old DD?

I'd advise her to break up with him immediately, and I would consider him dangerous full stop.

Thanks, guys. Sometimes when people say 'banter' and 'it's just a joke' at you enough times it is hard to see the clear path.

(This isn't me, btw, it's a family member. And we're on it. I appreciate the posts.)

I’ve tried to be quite vague so as not to get deleted as a TAAT.

But does it make it ok or make a difference if it’s about a group of people who you don’t actually know? So, certain people have done an annoying thing. And someone else comments, people who do that annoying thing, need a good slapping? So not a direct threat to an individual. I hope this makes sense. I reported someone writing ‘they need a good slapping’ and mumsnet told me it was just a ‘turn of phrase’..... so it was ok.

I think most people who say it won't actually do it so the saying doesn't bother me. It does bother me if they actually would slap someone.

I suppose I expected more from a parenting website, used mainly by women.

It's not something that bothers me at all. I have often heard people say it, both young and old male and female (not children though). Invariably it means someone is being an annoying twat rather than the person saying it actually wants to hit anyone IYSWIM