Husband says he wishes he hadn’t had our child..

[WaitroseAldi]

Aibu to be really upset and hurt?!

Been with dh 7 years, we have a 4yo dd and two from my previous marriage (11 and 13).

Dd4 is hard work, she is like a little pocket rocket who doesn’t sit still for longer than 2 mins. She throws tantrums and barely sleeps past 5.30. But she is also SO loving, cuddly and smart.

Dh is an amazing dad, he works hard and treats the Dc all the same.

But when dd4 is playing up he says his life would be easier if we hadn’t had her, because we can’t do anything. We don’t have any couple time because we can’t get babysitters, or if we go out she ends up playing up and then ruining for the older two.

But I think it’s awful to even think like that. Tbh I think he’s abit depressed but he won’t admit it. I don’t know what to do.

Under 5s are extremely hard work, its lovely for a few years after that

I think saying your life would’ve been easier if you hadn’t had her (true) and saying he wishes you hadn’t had her are two very different things.

A 4 year old shouldn't be having regular tantrums.
You need to agree with your dh on discipline and routine for your dd.
Dc thrive with good routines and boundaries.
If dd is given proper timeout for bad behaviour then she will learn to behave.
She can be a pocket rocket who listens to her parents.

Well life is easier without tiny high maintenance kids in it! But she won't be little forever and as long as he shows her love and fairness then she'll soon grow up and be less challenging

Is your DD4 your DH's 1st child?

If he met you and you had 2 older, quiet, well behaved girls already, it sounds like this might well have formed his opinion of what DCs are like.

And when a "high spirited" toddler came alone, he just wasn't expecting it.

It does sound like life would've been easier without your youngest DC. It absolutely doesn't mean he regrets her being born.