To think no, autism is not a ‘gift’?

[RowRowYaStoat]

Does anyone else feel like this?
I’m feeling like the worlds worst parent right now. 12 year has been crying and kicking off since 7am this morning. After an awful few months , my patience is wearing thin.

Everything that goes wrong is my fault.
I honestly feels like he hates me (he doesn’t) but the way he talks to me, the way he shuts me out but expects me to fix everything.

The rigid thinking, total lack of compromise. The shouting, screaming.

The resistance to any change or expectation that he should do something himself.

The effect on siblings, the resentment they often feel. The fact my marriage is pushed to breaking point because the stress is immense.

And the lack of empathy from family and friends: “autism is a gift… embrace it !”.

I love my DS dearly. I’ll do anything to make him happy , but it’s just never enough. I always feel like he’s not happy and I worry how his perception of things is so different to the real situation.

And I lost my patience today.

Please tell me I’m not the only one to find this damned hard? Or am I just rubbish at this?

Apologies SinkGirl I should have read more carefully.

@TheCuddy

My son is 33 with severe LDs and autism. We went out for a meal last night, celebrating meeting inside with his older brother again after 17 months of shielding. It was like breaking bread with a fucking angry Goblin. I wanted to drown him in the Lobster tank but there were too many witnesses.

Thanks for making my night! I'll remember this next time I'm on the brink with mine :-D

Thanks for sharing. I feel the very same on a daily basis. Good to know I'm not the only one going through the same motions.

Meditation helps some days but there are only so many boundaries that I can create. Some days i feel my skin is not thick enough to cope with what feels like a personal vendetta.
I adore my son more than life itself but I just wish he would let up on the negative response and actions all the time.
My extended family members (all except one sister in law) also never lend a hand.
All we can do is be mindful and in the moment. Don't forget to breathe. Take care

Brilliant responses here. I have an autistic DS and briefly lost my sight from the stress in lockdown. I have it easier than others but it's HARD.