To be raging about the breast milk

[theITcrowd]

NC'd for this

I'm seething and genuinely want to know if I'm over reacting.

DS is 4 months and mostly formula fed. We have 1 or 2 bf sessions in a day and I pump approx 4oz per day. I save the breast milk until I have 6oz then I warm it up and give it to him in a bottle.
It takes me an hour to pump 2oz so every drop is precious.

Earlier this evening a can of coke exploded in the fridge so DH took it all apart and cleaned it all.

There was 5oz of breast milk in the fridge.

Earlier I went to add to the harvest but couldn't find the bottle.
It turns out DH threw the breast milk out whilst he was cleaning the fridge.

He said it was beside the sink, amongst 2 other bottles with various amounts of formula milk in them. How could he possibly know that one contained breast milk (I had initially emptied the fridge and placed the bottle near the sink)

I said he should have known it was breast milk bc it was freezing cold and he knows there is always a bottle with breast milk in the fridge... he should have checked.

He said I'm being ridiculous to expect him to know which bottles had bm in them. His hands were cold from clearing out the fridge so didn't know the difference.

I'm just so sad that so much work goes into every drop and he just fucked it down the sink.

Now we aren't talking.

Who is bu?

Why did he need to throw any of the milk away?
I’d be annoyed too would have taken him two seconds to check with you.

tomorrow is a new day 🌸

That's what I said!!! He could have shouted up to me to check. Ironically I was pumping whilst he was cleaning the fridge

Sometimes these things happen. Was the bottle labeled breast milk?

@PinkSatinMoon it is... thank you ❤️

@steff13 no it wasn't labelled..: but there is always one bottle in the fridge with bm in it

Gahhh I'd be mad too as I pumped with my second DC and know how precious every drop is! Howrver, if it was a genuine mistake and he's usually a good sort then in the gentlest possible way YABU to not speak to him over it. Mistakes happen - and I doubt he'll make that mistake again

As PinkSatinMoon said

Pumping is such hard work 😓 (I found it so) but it’s done now

Get some rest (for the extra calories)

I would've been devastated! Baby now 22 months, pump fed for 8 weeks and every drop was precious

It’s upsetting but an honest mistake. Not worth falling out over though it must be frustrating

I'd be very upset, it's bloody hard work. Especially if he's not apologetic. You would never make that mistake because pumping, milk, bottles, feeding your baby etc are at the forefront of your mind, whereas for him he has the luxury of not having to think about that stuff. He should care as much as you and be making it as easy as possible for you! If he apologises I would forgive and forget but not until then!

Hey there, I’m so sorry this has happened. As someone who has an almost three month old and is breastfeeding, I feel gutted on your behalf.

Everyone drop is precious and it’s gruelling work to get it.

I’d be really upset about it too.

However, mistakes happen (and are hopefully opportunities to learn and not repeat!) so if he acknowledged the impact and said sorry then I’d want to forgive and forget as quickly as possible.

I’d want because life is already hard enough right now and the best thing for you both and your baby is to be a team, to be generous with your forgiveness and to remember that everything feels so much worse when we are hormonal and sleep deprived.

I’ve typed sleep deprived so often now that my phone predicts the word ‘deprived’ every time I type ‘sleep’!

Are you able to start the conversation and promote better communication by telling him that you realise it was a mistake and you know he is baffled by your reaction but the process of pumping and trying to BF can be exhausting and emotionally draining,.. and that the pumped milk is like gold dust to you, therefore you were gutted when you saw it had been thrown out.

Talk to him. Tell him what you need (personally I’d just want acknowledgment of the impact, a sorry and a hug).

If he’s being great in all other respects I’d try to move on quickly.

I hope your supply increases and you get loads of sleep. God I miss sleep x

@miltonj you've hit the nail on the head!!!! He's absolutely not apologetic and thinks I'm being ridiculous to expect that he would know which bottle contained the BM.

I said ffs if you knew how hard it was to build that up you'd fucking know which bottle it was.

I'm trying really hard not to stab him in his sleep 🤬

It's not a bottle of milk. It's blood, sweat and tears when you're pumping.

However, unless he's an arse generally, move on quickly.

My top tip, electric pump, cut two holes in an old bra, feed the cups through, TA DAAAA pumping hands free. Saved my life.

Ooh, wish I read this eighteen months a3!

@somethingwittynotshitty

Ooh, wish I read this eighteen months a3!

*ago Curse the lack of edit!

I'd be livid. It just shows he doesn't really appreciate how hard it is to pump. I hate him on your behalf. A*hole.

You're massively over reacting 🤷‍♀️

I cried over my dh tipping away my pumped milk when i had a newborn.

@andivfmakes3

You're massively over reacting 🤷‍♀️

No, she isn’t.

I am with your dh here it was next to the sink with dirty bottles to be washed how was he to know really he is not a mind reader, I think you are probably over tired and stressed and made a mountain over a molehill

What an asshole. Easy mistake to make (maybe) but be sorry for gods sake.

I don't get why he threw away anything - how long does it take to clean a fridge? Things would've been only out for max half an hour? It's not like it was raw chicken.

I'd be upset too OP. Expressing is such hard work and not particularly pleasant either, anyone who hasn't done it regularly has no idea.

By that I mean I would've just put anything from the fridge in a bag with cold packs if I was worried about it, if not put it all together on the side.