Husband booked a holiday,I don't want to do,aibu?

[breadbreadwine]

My husband has booked a holiday for the half term.
I thought fab,just what we need...till he told me he has bought a 6 man tent and we are going away to Scotland for a week in a tent.
He's booked a parkdene tent holiday.
It was £155 for 4 of us and he has paid £700 for a tent.
He has bought sleeping bags,fridge etc
He said it's to save money.

Aibu here ?
A week in a tent in Scotland with 2 kids who don't sleep anyway.
I'm not high maintenance but I'm worried about the toilet /shower situation

I'm not happy

@Gem176

I'll swap you for a week in lanzarote with OH's friends that I cannot stand..... 5 star hotel but I'd genuinely prefer a rainy week in a tent 😭 why do they do these idiotic things thinking we will be ok with it?!

Because people enable them by going along with it instead of saying nope, I'm not going.

It's wrong he just booked it without consulting you. Only times that's acceptable us a surprise present that someone absolutely knows you'll love!

He knows I'm not happy and I'm hoping in future he uses his brain

Why would he? He had an amazing idea, and now you are doing everything to facilitate it and make it actually work.

Send him with kids. With only the equipment he has researched and bought.

They'll be back the next day and the tent will be back on ebay.

OP, I am very disappointed that you have agreed to do something you really don’t want to do.

I'm just getting divorced from a hb who never initiated anything and I'd need to beg or force him even to do anything with me so your husband sounds great from my perspective lol. For £700 hopefully it's a nice tent that will keep you dry! I went camping beginning of May with my kids and a female friend and it was great! I'd insist on getting a self inflating mat as they are much warmer than an air bed for instance, I have a double vango one and also a self heating sleeping bag from vango and hot water bottles. I wouldn't care about Fridges etc or too much stuff as then it can become stressful packing and unpacking. I'd just do anything you can to make yourself comfortable and warm and dry and you might actually enjoy it... good luck:) one thinking I enjoyed about my failed marriage was having a bone fire in the evening and a glass of wine while kids were asleep 🔥

We camped a lot as children and I’ll take mine when they are a bit older.
Always plan to eat all meals out. Morrisons in Dumfries will be a cheap option.
Practice putting tent up before you go
Only go if the weather is decent
Norfolk is best for camping, it’s significantly warmer and drier than Scotland

Just wondering, which parent will be doing the cooking and washing up
and sorting all the wet clothes and taking DC to toilet in the middle of the night and entertaining them when they wake up at 5AM and it's pouring down? And which one will take them for ice cream, claim the best parent badge and declare that see, best holiday ever!

Op, there shouldn’t be a big debate about something you don’t want to do. You say ‘No, I’m not going, I don’t like camping’. Anything other than ‘OK what would you like to do instead?’ is domineering behaviour. Badgering someone into doing something they don’t want to do is NOT OK. I consider myself pretty easy going and open minded but if my DH did this it would be a very clear NO and he would not make any attempt to change my mind. He knows better than to try! You are making a rod for your own back!

@breadbreadwine when you stop makesure it's long so he has tent up when you get there
My DH took 2 teenagers couple times last summer the tent blew off when the 3 off them where putting it up luckily there was a cabin available so cabin it is from now on.
You have to really like outdoors and communal bathroom to go on a trip like this. I know this is not what you want to hear.

You could book a spa break for yourself and let him go with the kids alone. He might then think twice about disregarding your views in the future!

I'm in Scotland the weather has been pretty shit this spring even for Scotland lots of rain, cold temps and driving rain I've still got my heating on and I run warm!

You actually wouldn't even NEED a fridge if he's planning on this happening in next few weeks? Honestly we've had temps of below freezing in recent weeks here.

Currently 8°c in Dumfries and cloudy seriously WHAT was he thinking?!

I'd be livid that he never even mentioned until after booking!

I'm an experienced camper but I would not be at all happy with this decision.

As you are both novice campers - he's a Fucking idiot! It's not something especially with young kids you just decide to do! Have you anywhere to even practice putting up the tent? Somewhere to air it when you return? Where is it going to be stored in future? What other equipment do you need and has he purchased or do you even have the money to purchase given he's wasted a ton of money on a tent?! I'm guessing whoever sold him it saw him coming basically eBay?? Numpty!

What an utter fool!

Do you have any other camping kit? Because if not there's going to be a lot more expenditure before the trip. Yep! Exactly what I'm thinking. Also as he's bought the tent off eBay presumably NO instructions NO way of knowing if he has all the parts to put it up NO way of knowing if it's in good order or whether it's leaking etc

He wanted us to just use sleeping bags yep! He's absolutely fucking clueless about camping as I suspected!

I honestly feel like making him sleep in the garden in the tent !

Do that - now! Before you go anywhere. Make him put it up (which you should do anyway before relying on it anywhere, plus it probably needs airing and checking over) and sleep in it for a full night with nothing but a sleeping bag! Pretty sure he'll then rethink the whole mess!

Experienced campers even when they have good equipment that they have cared for STILL get everything out/put up a few weeks before hand to check for any repairs needed etc also check things like stoves work, if more gas is needed to be bought etc he sounds the worst type of novice camper who thinks it's simply a case of easily throwing up a tent, bung a couple of sleeping bags inside and jobs done!

Camping is and can be fun IF you know what you're doing and what equipment is needed and how to care for it - including how to properly pack it in the car - very much sounds like he hasn't the first clue!

I also think you are foolish to go along with it. He will never learn to not be such an irresponsible thoughtless twat if you keep bailing him out of such mistakes.

Personally I wouldn't even be letting him take dc as he's so clueless it's bordering on dangerous. I dread to think of him trying to manage meals and gas etc I genuinely think he's a hazard waiting to happen - and the other experienced campers won't be impressed either. They'll feel obliged to help and that will impact their well planned holidays

Selfish selfish stupid man!

Without talking to you!?! That's bang out of order. Camping isn't for everyone (personally I love it) but this weather in Scotland... Even I wouldn't risk it.

Parkdene I have been too and facilities are fine so don't worry there.

In the long run it's cheaper if you go a lot, but surely you try glamping first to try it!?

I guarantee the "big debate" you'd have for refusing to go will take less time and be less miserable than a week camping with this utterly thoughtless numpty

Tent pegs
Mallet - get a rubber one.
Picnic rugs - you know the ones with a rug on one side and plastic on other - y
They fold up. Really useful for inside.
Something to carry the washing up in.
Hats - you may need a beany on at night.
Nice shower gel for you - will make shower block more pleasant.

Ensure you don't get landed with showering with the kids
In fact make sure he gets the bulk of the sprog duties
Is it an airbeam tent? If so, make sure it has come with something to inflat it. They are easy to put up but pegging out is a bugger.
Don't pack clothes in cases put in plastic boxes. Each person has a plastic box.
Pracrice putting up the tent and make sure you know where the prevailing wind is - you don't want it blowing into the tent!

I would be really annoyed about the tent purchase more than the booking of the holiday. I don't really like camping. It's often damp. However, I have booked holidays without consulting my husband which I think annoys him.

A previous poster suggested you could have your meals at Morrison’s in Dumfries - it’s supposed to be a holiday FFS!

Wow @Livelovebehappy very sweeping statement there " I don't like Scotland"! You've been everywhere in Scotland then?

Parkdene have showers and toilet blocks and even laundrette. Sounds really fun I reckon.

I haven't RTFT but my top camping tip -Sacrificial towels - extra towels you don't mind getting muddy.
Also if one of those airbeam things - make sure all doors etc done up before inflating.

To me, the details or specifics or camping aren't the issue. The fact that he makes such plans without consulting you is the issue.

If it was one time poor idea but truly meant as a nice surprise for you, I'd suggest going along this one time - as long as it was made clear that you didn't appreciate it and you felt sure he would not do something like this again.

However, you say he does things like this all the time so I think you should be very firm in not cooperating whatsoever. Tell him you weren't consulted so you aren't going, end of story. If he's that self-centered, outright refusing is probably the only hope of putting a stop to this disrespectful behavior.

I'd also recommend marriage counseling because he seems very entitled and that doesn't typically work very well in a marriage.

I love camping but aside from that I really don’t understand why he or anybody would book a holiday ,spend a load of money without consulting with wife? I mean what purpose to just organise without a mention? Why does he do that ? Most significant part surely.

If you are going to put your head in a soggy noose take the following
Dustpan and brush for the inside
Sheepskins - they are warm, nice on the feet and since they are hide waterproof on one side. Can be washed in a wool wash.
Doormats - one in and one outside - trap the worst of the wet and mud. See dustpan and brush.

Keep one set each of dry clothes locked in a car boot.

I spent 2 days in a camping pod in Dumfries on a campsite in the rain it was utterly miserable. My 2 friends who are the most experienced campers who have everything you could think of, all the gear going had to move into pods after the first night as their ultra posh tents were leaking there was that much rain. Running to the toilet block in the rain in your PJs in the dark is just miserable. Maybe other people’s idea of a fun holiday was not mine, never again. It’s freezing cold and rained all day in Scotland today. The sun is a distant memory, Dumfries is lovely though.

Make sure he is driving the car with the children in! And don't get him an airbed, remember, he wants just a sleeping bag. Put the clean dry towels under your sleeping bag, it will be cold. Every little helps. I slept in Wales every night with the tea cosy on my head. Torches and spare batteries are a must.

I was never one to camp but used to go away in a camper van an as a child, when my 2 dds were little a groups of friends we had with kids the same age as ours persuaded us to go on a camping holiday, we did and loved it, the kids loved it more and I have never known the kids to sleep so well, and us adults too. Go give it a go, firstly it’s a holiday and we are all desperate for a holiday and you never know, you may love it, what is there to lose, 1 week of your life, and that’s only if you don’t all have a great time together, don’t know the area, but from what people said it sounds a great site and area to visit.