Husband booked a holiday,I don't want to do,aibu?

[breadbreadwine]

My husband has booked a holiday for the half term.
I thought fab,just what we need...till he told me he has bought a 6 man tent and we are going away to Scotland for a week in a tent.
He's booked a parkdene tent holiday.
It was £155 for 4 of us and he has paid £700 for a tent.
He has bought sleeping bags,fridge etc
He said it's to save money.

Aibu here ?
A week in a tent in Scotland with 2 kids who don't sleep anyway.
I'm not high maintenance but I'm worried about the toilet /shower situation

I'm not happy

I haven't read the thread just the first page, and I'd like to have a guess at how it's panned out...

I reckon 50% of posters will miss the important hidden bit of the post, and respond helpfully to the op about how to endure this 'holiday'

I reckon the other 50% of older, wiser posters whose rose tinted glasses for men have long since fallen off will tell the op this behaviour is utterly unacceptable.

I think the op will focus on the first 50; and completely ignore the second.

Enjoy the next few years of being at your husbands beck and call op.

Or do as @myhobbyisouting advises (she is clearly someone who knows how cold it will be) and buy head to toe thermals for all of you, bar dh, who will freeze to death, thereby a avoiding any unilateral decision making hence forth.

Nope from me too.

I really like camping but the fuck I’d go to Scotland for a week during the spring with two children!! It’ll be cold & if you’re not used to camping you’ll probably hate it. If you don’t put up tents regularly, you will likely struggle to get an 8 person tent set up properly (and then if the weather is bad, EBF up cold & wet). Tell him to return the lot!

@PandaLady I do know how cold it'll be which is why I do not camp 😂.

I let them go and follow my earlier suggestion of taking a city break on my own while they are gone.

The closest I get to it is in the camper and even then it's a big compromise!

Oh god OP, I absolutely love camping, but it needs team work and you have to know what you’re doing to an extent. The idea that you’d all just sleep on the ground is madness, you’d be so miserable.

You might love it, but your DH sounds like a bloody amateur, and such hard work.

On the plus side, I’ve had some amazing nights round the camp fire, Milky Way above, glass of wine in hand listening to owls hooting away. Makes it worth the set up.

Camping in the wilds of Scotland with stunning views yes please. Camping in a commercialised caravan park with twenty million other campers no Thankyou

Your husband should have discussed with you first but maybe he thought he was doing a nice surprise? Maybe? Perhaps you could give it a try. I used to go camping with 4 young kids when the youngest was just a few months old and it was fun. If you really don't want to go tell him and don't go.

why are u buying all the other stuff why isnt he doing it-and how is it saving money when youve already spent nearly a grand

Camping is our thing, we love it. We all know that we all love it and are therefore over the moon if a trip is booked as a surprise.

Different situation entirely and I can see why the OP is pissed off. For something entirely new, communication is needed, I think.

If you decide you will go, I hope you can enjoy it. You'll need a lot more stuff though, you seem to have the bare minimum at the moment, albeit good quality (judging by the price).

I'm a seasoned camper and done it in all weathers, and I concur with other seasoned campers with what you need. I have a garage full of camping stuffs. If you have EHU, you WILL need a camping heater. It can get cold at night. Most people don't go back to camping because they are unprepared. Mind you, we take a TV.😂, and I take hair straighteners

Kids that don't sleep could be a challenge though.
Showers are usually really clean and well looked after ( especially just now).

I think @MrMucker wants to go with your DH OP.
I would really hate that kind of holiday, and would also be aghast at £700 for a tent, so you have my sympathy.

Ok, so very important, air beds are actually REALLY not a great idea for camping, you effectively have to heat all the air with your body before you’ll be warm (which you cannot do when it’s 5 degrees outside). Much better bet is a Thermarest type pad, if you’re committed to air beds, bring a patch kit & several extra blankets to put between you and the mattress.

Also make sure you & dc have non cotton PJs, and preferably mostly non cotton clothing as when it gets wet, which it will, it will not dry, and you’ll freeze. Figure you need to dress for the minimum temperature all the time as since you wont be able to go indoors much, you will get cold & cold will settle on you.

I would also advice against budget gear, you get what you pay for. Pay attention to sleeping bags temp ratings, you want the “comfort” rating to be well above the minimum temp you’re expecting overnight. If the bag you bought doesn’t have a temp rating, it’s highly unlikely to be adequate.

Bring lots of hot chocolate mix & marshmallows for everyone.

Get everyone camping chairs.

I just took toddler DC camping on my own & had a great time, were warm dry & fed BUT I spent upwards of 50 nights a year camping for about a decade and my camping gear collectively cost well over £3k over the years to get properly equipped.

Bunting is already on your list - add battery sting lights ?
Make it a mini festival ?

The Parkdean in Dumfries is gorgeous! You have access to toilets and shower facilities and there is plenty to do with the kids. Have you looked it up? Honestly it's not exactly in the middle of the wilderness,you should be bloody grateful that your getting a wee holiday and what a lovely husband you have to think about you and your family.

Also curious what tent he acquired second hand for £700? Top end family camping tents don’t really get there new for £700... unless he bought a giant Nordisk canvas affair, in which case you MUST do multiple practice runs in the garden.

That was really selfish of him. He should have discussed it with you before booking it. I too would be fuming.

Firstly - solar powered fairy lights/night lights, loads of midge repellent (bog myrtle) for scotland and tick remover. You need - blow up airbeds (can get chilly at night), and thick foam mats underneath or camp beds. And frankly- duvets/pillows/fleece blankets -no point suffering. Need a loo in the tent- eg kampa kazi or the like- so you aren’t traipsing to the toilet at night.
Frankly I’d be utterly livid at him spending £1000 on something without consulting me and without thinking through. £700 for a 4 man tent is serious kit- hope it has rooms and a communal space. You need a camping gas hob/pans/kettle/gas canisters, crockery/cutlery/cups, bottle opener, plus depending on age of kids many many layers/changes of clothes. Good luck. (Or send them on their own)

Camping is my worst nightmare. We used to go when I was a kid and I hated it. I think your DP should have discussed holiday plans you especially camping as the tent was such a big investment.
I’d make him take the tent back.

Go. Book your spa week with treatments. Come home tell him you've booked a holiday. When he asks you for when? Tell him it's the week he!'s taking the kids camping.

When he complains..tell him you thought it would be fine as he'd booked his holiday without consulting you...so you presumed it would be OK to do the same.

If this opening gambit works...you could suggest both the camping holiday and the spa break could be cancelled and the tent returned - and you look at a family holiday together then go and book it.

Tell him you are tired of him making decisions which involve you...without you.

If he won't negotiate...enjoy your child free spa break...

Op, don't listen to any of the advice about food, furnishing, equipment etc. If dh is so sure camping's a good idea, he will have thought it all through , won't he?

Won't he?

@myhobbyisouting I do actually love tebay services too
They do the best sausage rolls.
Im tempted to stop at tebay now 😂

Unfortunately he has not thought it through at all.
I'm thinking he was either watching a YouTube video and got the stupid idea or one of his friends mentioned it.

I do cave easy because sometimes it's easier than causing a big debate.

He knows I'm not happy and I'm hoping in future he uses his brain.
Il report once I'm away and let you know how it goes.

We used to camp in all weather when I was younger, snow and everything. It’s not too bad when you make the most of it and embrace it. If you’re adamant you’ll have a shit time then you will.
Definitely air beds, roll mats for under them too (a bit like yoga mats), blankets for on top of your sleeping bags that are big enough to properly tuck in, camping stove and gas, tent lamp.

It’s Dumfries ffs it always rains there.

It would be no from me too as this isn’t jut a £700 second hand tent.

He needs to trial run it first too

If you go let him do all the buying and cooking and .......well........ everything