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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Husband booked a holiday,I don't want to do,aibu?

605 replies

breadbreadwine · 22/05/2021 10:44

My husband has booked a holiday for the half term.
I thought fab,just what we need...till he told me he has bought a 6 man tent and we are going away to Scotland for a week in a tent.
He's booked a parkdene tent holiday.
It was £155 for 4 of us and he has paid £700 for a tent.
He has bought sleeping bags,fridge etc
He said it's to save money.

Aibu here ?
A week in a tent in Scotland with 2 kids who don't sleep anyway.
I'm not high maintenance but I'm worried about the toilet /shower situation

I'm not happy

OP posts:
Twinkled · 23/05/2021 17:45

If you keep on falling in with his plans nothing will change . I would say - I’m staying home so it’s you and the kids for this holiday . He may learn to talk to you before booking stuff if he has to carry his plans through without you . Plus Hols should be joint decision if it’s not then you haven’t agree to go that is all . Make a stand

Fluffycloudland77 · 23/05/2021 17:45

I think you’re being very good about this.

I need somewhere to plug my hairdryer and straighteners in & an orthopaedic mattress with 100% cotton sheets.

katy1213 · 23/05/2021 17:46

'Other people's soapy suds ..."
Not for all the fairy lights in the world would I agree to this.
Make sure you pack the athlete's foot treatment because you'll need it.
And all this to appease some twat of a man who shows you no consideration!

umberellaonesie · 23/05/2021 17:47

The site is ok, pool is good arcades quite big.
Entertainment is what it is
The area though is fab. Great beaches a wee drive away. Powillimont is great for rock climbing head to beach at southerness turn right and keep walking till you for me the rocks great for wee ones.
The chocolate factory
Cream of Galloway has ice cream and adventure playground.
Loads of great castles and gardens Threave, caerlaverock gatehouse of fleet.
Feed deer and red kites at the red kite trial.
Otters pool up the raiders road is fab for paddling on a hot day

Toomuchtrouble4me · 23/05/2021 17:49

Totally unreasonable not to discuss it. Ok as a surprise if you are seasoned campers. There is NO WAY I would go. YANBU

DagenhamRoundhouse · 23/05/2021 17:50

Tell him he can take the kids and you can spend the week pampering yourself at home in peace.

G5000 · 23/05/2021 17:51

osbertthesyrianhamster I am getting the same feeling here.

DH says that he has this brilliant plan that OP does not want to do. And now OP is running around like blue arsed fly to make DH's plan happen, so he can smugly say that see, my plan was so brilliant and we all had a great holiday. By 'all' meaning him, whose only contribution was spending family money without discussion.

If it was my DH who had booked something I didn't like - it would be 100% his job to organise everything so he might change my mind.

Sitchervice · 23/05/2021 17:54

Sounds like a nice suprise, camping can be fun. You can cook marshmallows over the fire and tell stories.

I loved camping as a kid. Parents took us from aged 3 to New forest.

Dontwanttolivewithmylover · 23/05/2021 17:55

There was a recent post about lending camping gear which mentioned the trouble newbie campers often have when trying to erect a tent. There is also the problem of dismantling it and making sure it's totally dry and folded correctly before putting it and all poles and fittings back in their bags. If not done correctly then the tent will rot and that's £700 down the Swanee.

Aliggggggg · 23/05/2021 17:57

I have just lost my husband to cancer after only three weeks. Take the holiday and enjoy each moment of it. What is one week out of the rest of your life. The kids will love it even if you don’t.

KatharinaRosalie · 23/05/2021 17:57

You can cook marshmallows over the fire and tell stories.

I can do that in my own back yard

ROSCO80 · 23/05/2021 17:59

Don't want to throw a further spanner in the works but are the toilet/shower facilities open? I know not all campsite are opening the shower blocks yet.

osbertthesyrianhamster · 23/05/2021 18:01

@Aliggggggg

I have just lost my husband to cancer after only three weeks. Take the holiday and enjoy each moment of it. What is one week out of the rest of your life. The kids will love it even if you don’t.
I think this type of guilt tripping is really unfair. I lost a child. Life is short. But kowtowing to someone who really shows no consideration for you or even your kids ('DH likes to drive straight through and not stop en route', well, shit, with young kids, you do, it's not about you), and she also says the younger one is a poor sleeper who likes routine, is really taking the piss out of them. Sounds like she enjoys enabling this, however.
Bodynegative · 23/05/2021 18:01

I thought he was trying to save money? He sounds a very controlling and inconsiderate person, rather like my ex husband's father. Are you allowed to choose any activities or does he make an itinery timed to the minute. I know it's often easier to just go along with it for a quiet life but he won't improve unless you are able to stand up to him. Blowing £700 on a second hand tent without talking to you is also ridiculous. It would have been far more sensible to go glamping or to have bought a cheaper tent and tried it out before buying some huge complicated thing. Having said that, well done you for agreeing to go with an open mind. My advice is to buy a head torch for nocturnal loo trips!

Good luck, I love camping btw and my grandsons (at about your DS's ages) loved their first camping trip in a much smaller tent with very basic kit.

callmeadoctor · 23/05/2021 18:04

Hang on, so you are rushing around shopping for the rest of the camping stuff? Just why? You will need to buy an unbelievable amount of stuff to be comfy (and please don't leave heating on all night without checking that you are safe to do that!!!!!!!!!!) Just the same as all the other "wives`' on here, bailing the husbands very stupid decisions out!

callmeadoctor · 23/05/2021 18:06

@Aliggggggg

I have just lost my husband to cancer after only three weeks. Take the holiday and enjoy each moment of it. What is one week out of the rest of your life. The kids will love it even if you don’t.
Another very good reason to have a "nice" holiday, which is not a piss take in a tent in this country, sleeping on the ground in sleeping bags......................................................................
RUOKHon · 23/05/2021 18:12

We went camping with a two year old and it was fucking grim. Gorgeous part of the world but we were up and ready for the day at 6am - nothing opened for another three hours. Three hours trying to entertain a boisterous toddler in a tent with shitty weather outside. Never ever again. I am never camping ever ever again.

I’d be fuming OP and I’d refuse to go.

ERFFER · 23/05/2021 18:12

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

user11838686969686 · 23/05/2021 18:13

Have you actually costed up everything you're about to rush out and buy to try and make his ridiculous plan possible?

Buying loads of kit for a single short trip that will never be repeated seems a waste of money and resources.

It is ok to actually say no.

Dontwanttolivewithmylover · 23/05/2021 18:15

Hot-tubs not a great idea. You can get sepsis as one young woman did at a friend's HOUSE and she had to have her right leg amputated from the knee and all the toes on her left foot amputated plus multiple skin grafts from her thigh. It was on the news with photos. Terrible. She had a very small scratch on her foot and the incorrect mix and amounts of the solutions which should be put into hot-tubs, caused her legs to go purple and black and rot.

user11838686969686 · 23/05/2021 18:15

@callmeadoctor

Hang on, so you are rushing around shopping for the rest of the camping stuff? Just why? You will need to buy an unbelievable amount of stuff to be comfy (and please don't leave heating on all night without checking that you are safe to do that!!!!!!!!!!) Just the same as all the other "wives`' on here, bailing the husbands very stupid decisions out!
Yeh, if you go ahead please make sure you know how to use kit safely, I don't want to be reading in the news that your family died from carbon monoxide poisoning on holiday.
Roxy69 · 23/05/2021 18:16

There may be gnats too if they are in this area, not sure but Scotland does have a reputation. That would make life hell on earth for me, never mind camping.

wellstopdoingitthen · 23/05/2021 18:18

I think it is thoughtless of him to book this without discussing it with you first but admirable that you're willing to give it a go. Good idea to tell him about escape plan 'Premier Inn'

As a cub leader I've done plenty of camps & it can be great fun though my under canvas limit is 3 nights, after that I'm craving a proper bed!

The best side effect is that even the worst sleeping kids normally are exhausted with the fresh air & activities so hopefully should sleep well.

My recommendations:
Torches loads of them & spare batteries
Plenty of practice putting up & packing away of tent & stuff (see if there's a friendly scout in your friendship group that can show you the tricks).
A good thick groundsheet
Inflatable mattresses
Thermal tops
Plenty of spare socks (they always get wet).
Power pack for phone (if it's cold they go flat quicker)
Have a look at the area to plan some activities that will tire the children out so you get some sleep.
Book a room at the premier inn (that you can cancel if not needed) you could even use it one night midweek for a nice soak in the bath!

I hope you have a good week.

Then forbid him from booking anything else without your consent. Grin

mamabear715 · 23/05/2021 18:24

Put the tent back on ebay.
Put the husband on ebay too.

HerMammy · 23/05/2021 18:24

How is this saving money? £700 second hand tent that he hasn’t even checked is complete, all the other gear will take you to £1000+, then cost of fuel x2, eating out.
Could have had a week somewhere in more comfort for the same cost.
Do you not discuss bigger purchases? ie £700 bloody tents.