Oh crap I fancy my new boss

[Totallyspies]

I have a huge crush on my new boss. I’m like a bloody teenager! He’s a lovely man and we get on very well which makes it’s worse.
We have to work really closely together and although I am very professional in front of him, I am finding myself daydreaming about him and smiling like an idiot. FML!

Aibu to quit my job immediately out of embarrassment?

Please tell me I’ll get over this soon. I am happily married and this has completely taken me by surprise.

Oh God. Do you think he fancies you? Was there a vibe?

This is very difficult! Do you often get crushes?

I do get fleeting daydream crushes fairly regularly as I’m a big daydreamer but they don’t normally trouble me.
But this one makes my heart race a bit more than it should - I feel like such an idiot even writing that! I have even had butterflies before one of our meetings.

There is a good vibe between us but I am pretty sure that’s just a professional thing. It’s a good thing that we get on as we are spending so much time together and if there was no vibe it would be a disaster. I don’t think he has feelings for me and I don’t even think I have feelings for him as I don’t even know him very well. It’s not love or lust but I’m not sure what it is. I honestly feel like a teenager.

I had this with a contractor at work. Totally unexpected. I quietly enjoyed it for about a week and then got a grip - not literally.

It's all fine now. Thankfully.

You do know you can't go there so you have to let it pass ASAP.

Mmmm hard. Mt line manager is charming, good looking, kind, bright and it’s very easy to see his appeal....then I remind myself he’s happily married with four older children and that I have my loyal and good husband.
It’s no more real than a relationship with George Clooney or Colin Firth.

Have you heard of Limerence?

You might find it interesting.

www.anxiety.org/limerence-and-relatonship-based-ocd-symptoms-and-treatments

Maybe you could ask him on a walk.

Little crushes are perfectly normal - be careful though, there is a fine line and a step over it will lead to disaster.

Tell your husband that you’re happily married to about it. That should put an end to it.

@cookiecreampie

Maybe you could ask him on a walk.

The walk thread was so cringe that I'm actually glad it was a troll 😂

Hmmm, it's been a good week and a half since we had the 'I have a crush on my boss/colleague' type thread. We normally get one a week.

We were due for one I guess.

It's because people get invested and they thrive off the attention

Oh I was invested in that walk thread

@HmmmmmmInteresting was that a troll

@TheJackieWeaver

Thank you for that link. Some of that resonates but it’s more conscious daydreaming than intrusive thoughts. I am fine when I’m with him and have no desire/ hope to actually be with him.

I do think I suffer from maladaptive daydreaming though and I also think I have inattentive adhd (which my teenage dc has and we are very similar) which I know can manifest in my dc by elaborate daydreaming.

I think I just need to pull myself together!

What was the walk thread?

I think you need to stop the daydreaming which is creating a false image of him in your mind and replace it with images of him leaving his dishes in the sink, crumbs on the bench and floor and clothes everywhere
You see his best side at work not the real him.

Yep, @Sparkles556 and @missw1987 there was a deletion message saying sorry folks but it was all made up. They'd checked behind the scenes and stuff she'd posted didn't add up with her posting history .

Somebody on the thread commented that it was like something out of a novel and the OP had the audacity to say 'sadly not...this is my real life'.

I thought it had an odd feel to it.

@HmmmmmmInteresting no way! How strange! It didn’t even enter my head it could be a troll, the amount of detail they went into! Some people have too much time on their hands!

[quote Sparkles556]@HmmmmmmInteresting no way! How strange! It didn’t even enter my head it could be a troll, the amount of detail they went into! Some people have too much time on their hands![/quote]
I know, and there wasn't even anything particularly racy or out of the ordinary to make it worthwhile doing

People are strange

Sorry to detail your thread, OP. I don't really have much time for married women who want to talk about their crush so I've got nothing to add

@HmmmmmmInteresting
Fair enough!
I don’t really want to talk about him but rather want to work out how to get a grip!

Currently have a crush on my colleague. I don’t normally crush, I hate it.

My usual little fleeting daydream crushes are silly and manageable and often because someone is very physically attractive.
This isn’t the same and I really don’t want to fancy this man, especially as we have to spend so much time together.

The advice above about remembering how I only see the best of him is helpful. It’s not real and I don’t want it to be real.

I am sure in will pass and I didn’t realise there are lots of threads like this so sorry if I’m boring people!

Why not talk to your partner about an open relationship? If he or she are ok with it, then approach your boss, telling them you are interested in a potential sexual relationship with them and if they are agreeable, explore that.

If they suggest that they do not mix business and relationships, respect their decision and move on to one of your other coworkers if you fancy them, and so on and so on until you find someone mutually agreeable to this excellent plan.

Nothing can possibly go wrong if everyone is open and honest.