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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Oh crap I fancy my new boss

62 replies

Totallyspies · 21/05/2021 20:18

I have a huge crush on my new boss. I’m like a bloody teenager! He’s a lovely man and we get on very well which makes it’s worse.
We have to work really closely together and although I am very professional in front of him, I am finding myself daydreaming about him and smiling like an idiot. FML!

Aibu to quit my job immediately out of embarrassment?

Please tell me I’ll get over this soon. I am happily married and this has completely taken me by surprise.

OP posts:
Girlonthego · 21/05/2021 22:19

Sorry can't contribute anything useful to this thread apart from suggesting you leave OP :(
But I'm totally intrigued by the 'walk' thread... can someone post a link? Grin

WorraLiberty · 21/05/2021 22:24

Is there something in the water or is it lockdown boredom that's making so many MNetters have a work crush?

This is about the 3rd thread this week, although the last two got deleted. Even before that there was 1 or 2 threads per week.

HmmmmmmInteresting · 21/05/2021 22:44

@Girlonthego

Sorry can't contribute anything useful to this thread apart from suggesting you leave OP :( But I'm totally intrigued by the 'walk' thread... can someone post a link? Grin
The walk thread was deleted so can't post a link. It was super-cringe 🙈😂
HmmmmmmInteresting · 21/05/2021 22:45

@WorraLiberty

Is there something in the water or is it lockdown boredom that's making so many MNetters have a work crush?

This is about the 3rd thread this week, although the last two got deleted. Even before that there was 1 or 2 threads per week.

What was the other one about @WorraLiberty? Grin
HmmmmmmInteresting · 21/05/2021 22:47

@Girlonthego it even had minute details like 'he mentioned pooing behind a rock while hiking- is this a bad sign?"

I'm so getting deleted Grin

Talkwhilstyouwalk · 21/05/2021 22:47

Awkward. Focus on the reality of the situation....you are a happily married lady so this is a no go. No point fancying him so try and switch it off....

Original poster
Totallyspies · 21/05/2021 23:25

@TulisaIsBrill I assume you were being facetious but I definitely don’t want an open relationship!!

I honestly haven’t seen any other similar threads @WorraLiberty and don’t post on here very often.
My story sounds very boring compared to the other threads. I’m just stuck in a workplace that I love with a boss that I appear to annoyingly have a crush on - end of story!

I do already feel a bit better about it and am going to make a very conscious effort to not indulge in daydreaming about him and to actively get a grip. I’m not interested in having an affair and really am happy at home.
When I’m with him at work it’s fine and we get on well so thankfully it isn’t affecting my work life as I do love my job.

OP posts:
FijiCavanaugh · 21/05/2021 23:35

@TulisaIsBrill

Why not talk to your partner about an open relationship? If he or she are ok with it, then approach your boss, telling them you are interested in a potential sexual relationship with them and if they are agreeable, explore that.

If they suggest that they do not mix business and relationships, respect their decision and move on to one of your other coworkers if you fancy them, and so on and so on until you find someone mutually agreeable to this excellent plan.

Nothing can possibly go wrong if everyone is open and honest.

Lol this is a terrible idea!

On a more serious note, this is fairly normal and there is little to do other than let it run its course. I had a massive crush on a new boss when I was going through a break up and he was happily married so I just indulged in the odd fantasy and otherwise did nothing. After a while, I went through with my breakup and he got a new haircut I wasn't a fan of and it went away.

My advice is to do nothing with boss but reflect on your own relationship and see if there are things that can be improved.

Bodgedboxdye · 21/05/2021 23:41

Ride it out.

I get stupid crushes all the time. I don’t even know where they come from. /:

You have no desire to be with him so just crush for a while and it’ll stop soon. (:

Rhannion · 21/05/2021 23:47

I know the feeling, I’m totally smitten with a guy who plays in my brother’s band from the first time I met him. Never looked at another guy , except Keanu Reeves in years and years and then bang. He is just lovely, talented and kind , but I’m nearly old enough to be his mother, however it doesn’t stop my heart beating very hard whenever he is nearby, which hasn’t been much recently unfortunately!

sweetypop · 21/05/2021 23:59

@cookiecreampie

Maybe you could ask him on a walk.
This... are you thinking what I'm thinking?
EmeraldShamrock · 22/05/2021 00:01

Practice quiet deep breathing techniques to calm yourself around him.
It will pass he'll fart or make a weird comment. 😉

BTV2000 · 22/05/2021 00:25

@HmmmmmmInteresting

The walk thread was so cringe that I'm actually glad it was a troll 😂
Hmmm also interesting that this OP thinks she has 'inattentive ADHD' which the 'walk thread' OP said she had. I remember as I'd never heard of it before, and she'd replied to someone querying why she had so much time to respond/give updates... Curious 🤔 I was obviously very invested in that last thread 🤣
leeds2glasgow · 22/05/2021 00:28

@cookiecreampie

Maybe you could ask him on a walk.
GrinGrin
TulisaIsBrill · 22/05/2021 00:54

[quote Totallyspies]@TulisaIsBrill I assume you were being facetious but I definitely don’t want an open relationship!!

I honestly haven’t seen any other similar threads @WorraLiberty and don’t post on here very often.
My story sounds very boring compared to the other threads. I’m just stuck in a workplace that I love with a boss that I appear to annoyingly have a crush on - end of story!

I do already feel a bit better about it and am going to make a very conscious effort to not indulge in daydreaming about him and to actively get a grip. I’m not interested in having an affair and really am happy at home.
When I’m with him at work it’s fine and we get on well so thankfully it isn’t affecting my work life as I do love my job.[/quote]
No, not facetious at all. I think if you want to sleep with your boss - and why not - he sounds like he’d be a fantastic match if you’re feeling such an intense attraction, then opening up the marriage could allow you the opportunity to explore these deeply exciting sensations in a safe context. It may turn out that he’s a gentle and powerful lover who gives you multiple, sensational orgasms the like of which we all long for.

And like I said, if he’s not in to that, once you’ve opened up the entire office is your oyster. Keep plugging away! Eventually you are extremely likely to find someone with whom you share mutual erotic feelings with, and you can then embark on a new and perhaps life changing sexual voyage of discovery with.

It’s no lose.

EmeraldShamrock · 22/05/2021 01:25

has 'inattentive ADHD' which the 'walk thread' OP said she had. I remember as I'd never heard of it before,
That is the correct name for ADD. My DD has inattentive ADHD basically disorganised, intrusive thoughts without the hyperactivity it is very common for females whereas male diagnoses mainly includes hyperactivity.

Susannahmoody · 22/05/2021 01:27

Have you actually met him in person? You're not just online?

EmeraldShamrock · 22/05/2021 01:28

No, not facetious at all. I think if you want to sleep with your boss - and why not - he sounds like he’d be a fantastic match if you’re feeling such an intense attraction.
It's just a little crush.
I'd imagine it is common in many jobs considering the power balance with management.

Taikoo · 22/05/2021 04:31

I'm sure your DH has had crushes on other women.
A lot of married men do.
I wouldn't beat myself up over it.

TrishM80 · 22/05/2021 05:09

The slightest whiff of power drives some women wild....!

Meirou90 · 22/05/2021 08:50

OP aka lalabeyonce can you please tell us the conclusion of the walk thread? I know it was fiction but I still enjoyed the story. 😂

MsHedgehog · 22/05/2021 09:00

Oh I was so so invested in the walk thread! I did have a moment where I thought it sounds odd (how quickly things escalated between them and the colleague telling him...) but was too interested in knowing what was going on to think anymore of it! Gutted it’s a troll!

littlepattilou · 22/05/2021 09:15

Shame the 'walk' thread was deleted. I would like to have seen it. I like a good laugh! Grin

littlepattilou · 22/05/2021 09:16

Shame the 'walk' thread was deleted. I would like to have seen it. I like a good laugh.! Grin

littlepattilou · 22/05/2021 09:16

@TulisaIsBrill

No, not facetious at all. I think if you want to sleep with your boss - and why not - he sounds like he’d be a fantastic match if you’re feeling such an intense attraction, then opening up the marriage could allow you the opportunity to explore these deeply exciting sensations in a safe context. It may turn out that he’s a gentle and powerful lover who gives you multiple, sensational orgasms the like of which we all long for.

And like I said, if he’s not in to that, once you’ve opened up the entire office is your oyster. Keep plugging away! Eventually you are extremely likely to find someone with whom you share mutual erotic feelings with, and you can then embark on a new and perhaps life changing sexual voyage of discovery with.

It’s a no lose.

Grin

You need to send some of your work to a literary agent. (And so does @Totallyspies or whatever her name is today.) Grin