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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Are men greedy bastards food wise.

151 replies

justasking111 · 21/05/2021 13:24

OK I went to butchers bought OH 1lb dry cure bacon his favourite, myself streaky because I prefer that. Guess who finished the streaky I have only had two slices.

Bought some dark chocolate, I enjoy a couple of squares a day. Once I break into it, the rest vanishes.

I bought some chocolate biscuits again once I opened it and took two when I went back the whole packet had been hoovered up.

I buy goodies for granchildren, once they have had a couple of biscuits or a couple of scoops of of icecream the rest vanishes.

I know he pays for it, but do I really need to start hiding food as I did with my kids when they were small?

OP posts:
Rmka · 21/05/2021 14:53

Have you talked to him about that? Maybe he just doesn't think it's a big deal. He should be more considerate, but communication is key. If he doesn't see the problem maybe start sending him to the shop each time this happens? Or indeed hide food and see if he'll go shopping or not.

It's not a man thing, I eat more in our relationship, but I stop myself from finishing something or I finish and immediately buy a new packet. Sometimes I say I bought myself extra of something simply because I know he'll take a week to eat 1, and I'll eat 3 at the same time.

Also we share most food of course, but there are some snacks that are mine or his because we each have our preferences. We share them with each other, but always ask first.

weegiepower · 21/05/2021 14:53

My ex h did this and still does this with the children's stuff. It actually annoys me more than most things in the world!

SixDegrees · 21/05/2021 14:54

I don’t know.

DH eats a lot, his idea of a suitable portion size is a lot bigger than mine, and he can snack a lot too.

But, if he knows a particular food has been bought specifically for me / DC, or is a favourite of mine / DC, then he won’t touch it without asking first.

So while he does eat a lot, I wouldn’t call him a greedy bastard, because he’s considerate enough to leave things for other people. Even if it’s in a package that’s already been opened.

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 21/05/2021 15:03

Food is food and there to be eaten, unless it's for a specific meal, or for having people round

^^
This is true to an extent, but then there is a basic level of consideration that seems to be missing from some people. It shouldn’t feel like a race to eat the nice food, and it should be possible to pace yourself on something you want to last the week without it all disappearing.

People know when they are being a dick about food consumption I think, one way or the other.

My Ds will eat all snacks in sight because he is 7! He’s very fussy though, and I think dd sometimes plays this by eating the things they both like first and then having the things only she likes left! But combined with his gannetry (new word) for tue things he does like, perhaps it evens out…

Haveyoubrushedyourteeth · 21/05/2021 15:06

I've got one the same!

The other day we bought 2 packs of chocolate bars, one for him and one for the DC and I to share. So I give one bar each to the DC (which leaves two) and he goes to pick one up. When I called him out on it, and pointed out that he had a pack of 6 all for him, he got most pissed off.
He's one of the most generous people I know when it comes to money, but food he's absolutely shocking and there's no reason for it at all.

Chanjer · 21/05/2021 15:09

OH once bought me a box of nice chocolates for my birthday, then ate them, then replaced them and ate them again, then replaced them and ate them again. I ended up with socks or something.This was all before my birthday actually happened and she had to travel into London to get them

I don't even like chocolate Grin

EL8888 · 21/05/2021 15:09

Exh used to hoover everything up. I once bought a multi pack of cakes, he had eaten 4 and l had eaten 1. Then he gets aggrieved that l wanted to eat the last one. It was mine to have especially as he’d already had the lions share!!! My fiancé does do not do this thank god

Difference is fiancé’s parents made clear it’s important to share and it’s not all about him. He was an only child, whereas exh was the favoured golden child of 6 children

Original poster
justasking111 · 21/05/2021 15:10

This week OH has bought a pack of hot cross buns which I hate so those are safe. Today he went to the bakery and bought himself an eccles cake and a loaf of bread. I will get some of the loaf I daresay.

OP posts:
Original poster
justasking111 · 21/05/2021 15:12

The only thing safe from him are the white chocolate buttons for the grand kids, he does not like white chocolate Grin he does not touch the barney bear sponges either.

OP posts:
shumway · 21/05/2021 15:16

I think it's more a consideration thing rather than a greed thing. I'm a greedy person and can eat a lot but I wouldn't eat something that someone else was saving or hadn't had their share of yet. My dad eats anything that hasn't been hidden with absolutely no thought to anyone else and it drives my mum mad.

CheerfulBunny · 21/05/2021 15:17

@SarahBellam NINE toffee crisps? Overnight? God, I'd be sick...

SkedaddIe · 21/05/2021 15:18

Buy more food?

Original poster
justasking111 · 21/05/2021 15:21

@SkedaddIe

Buy more food?
He already scrutinises the food bills, I use a credit card to buy food justifying that monthly is enough to be honest. And why should I buy extra only to see it disappear in his direction.

At christmas time I hide stuff in spare room wardrobe, out of sight out of mind have always done this. Guess I will just have to hide anything I would like in there now.

OP posts:
secretburper · 21/05/2021 15:24

No not in this house , if anyone is the greedy guts here it's me Blush

CatPurple · 21/05/2021 15:28

Today he went to the bakery and bought himself an eccles cake and a loaf of bread.
Did he ask what you wanted or bring you something home from the bakery too?

lljkk · 21/05/2021 15:33

we get a lot of these threads on MN
I may not 'get' it because I'm the greedy person

My solution is to buy twice as much... or 3x as much. Or 10x, whatever the adult-size person demand is, that's how much I'd buy. At some supply/stockpile/reservoir point there will be enough for everyone.

Sorted.

Nietzschethehiker · 21/05/2021 15:35

I think there is is long ingrained idea that it's a man thing. Exdh was like this (Df wasn't but the food issues there are a whole other ballgame wrapped in a hornets nest in a giant vat of "Hell don't go there" so ot doesn't count). I did just assume men were like that.

It was a shock when the marriage ended and met DP who never ever touches the DC snacks and will ensure everyone else has second helpings before he goes back and if he thinks I haven't treated dmyself lately will bring home a treat. I did very much see men as a homogenous group so DP was a surprise.

I'm afraid I do now think its a sign of disrespect. Not on especially if you've told him to leave some for everyone else.

SempreSuiGeneris · 21/05/2021 15:38

Begrudging the food bill while eating it all himself is a whole different issue. Different order of greed and inability to share. No idea why anyone puts up with this sort of behaviour. If he's going to be controlling he should do the shopping. People who rarely enter the supermarket quite quickly lose perspective on how much a weekly food shop costs.

anuvamotherhood · 21/05/2021 15:39

My DH is like this! Drives me mad! I have issues with food and only eat certain things which he knows about he'll buy his own snacks yet will eat most of the food I buy for myself so I'm left starving half of the time!
Resorted to hiding it in the back of cupboards. Angry

Original poster
justasking111 · 21/05/2021 15:40

@CatPurple

Today he went to the bakery and bought himself an eccles cake and a loaf of bread. Did he ask what you wanted or bring you something home from the bakery too?
haha no the response would be I thought you were on a diet, excuse for no easter egg last year come to think of it.
OP posts:
JesusIsAnyNameFree · 21/05/2021 15:46

Well he just sounds like a prick then. Start hiding your treats.

HopingForOurRainbowBaby · 21/05/2021 15:51

My exH was like this. One of the reasons why I stopped buying multi packs of crisps because I'd have a packet with a sandwich and then go for a bag the following day and they'd be all gone. I lost count of the times we'd get a 4 pack of muffins and I would put the other 2 away saying there's one each for us for another day. I'll have mine when I finish work tomorrow night. Come back in to find it gone. In the end I started hiding things like chocolate in my wardrobe. Or we'd go out for something to eat and whilst I was still in the middle of eating mine he'd be grabbing handfuls of chips off my plate. Couldn't ever go to the toilet mid way through a meal because I'd come back and find it gone cos he'd eaten it.

optimistic40 · 21/05/2021 15:52

No. I had exes like this though. Usually goes hand in hand with a generally selfish attitude though.

RumJerrySailorRum · 21/05/2021 15:57

It's not about the food being eaten, as, as people have pointed out you buy food to eat.

It's the greediness of eating it all just because its there.

If you open a packet of 6 chocolate bars that are for the whole house and you eat all of them, you are a greedy selfish fucker, whether it's been 2 days or 5 days.

You know you've had them all and you've not thought about any one else.

Soubriquet · 21/05/2021 15:59

My dad used to scoff all the packets of crisps everyone else liked, leave the ones no one else liked, so he could eat them at his own leisure

We had to hide crisps if we wanted to make sure we got some

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