Bare with me, this is convoluted and sounds a bit weird. Which it is.
My mum died, very suddenly and unexpectedly, 10 years ago. She and my Dad met when they were teens and had been married 39 years. He was understandably completely bereft and dealt with it very badly. He's still traumatised by it, still cries most days, and has been a shadow of the man he was ever since. My siblings and I have all tried all sorts over the years, but he's sort of "stuck".
Despite this, and to the surprise of everyone, he got married again a few years ago. His wife is very nice, but is twenty years his junior and from a very different background. They met on holiday (she isn't from this country), got married very quickly and she now lives in this country with him. She has a very successful career in a job that requires a great deal of dedication and years of training and qualifications. She has plenty of her own money (my dad is basically skint). They obviously love each other but the relationship is quite strange. I can't really explain it.
Dad has been depressed for years. Covid hasn't helped. He recently had a health scare, related to his total lack of self care, which has made his mental state worse still.
A few days ago his dog died. It was actually my mum's dog, but they were very attached to each other. My Dad had to have her put down and it completely shattered him. I think it has retraumatised him about my mums death (we had to turn the life support machine off). I know losing a dog is awful - I adore my dog! But the level of distress he is showing is not normal. I think its not really about the dog.
He is refusing to see or speak to anyone. He says he wants to be left alone. We're all worried. Among other things, his wife has to go away to sit some exams next week and he will be alone. We're all very concerned that he won't eat/sleep/wash (a pattern we've had before) or worse.
So, I've been messaging him each day, just to say "I know you don't want to see anyone, I'm just letting you know we love you, if you find you don't want to be alone you're always welcome here" etc.
I got a reply last night which reads like it's from him, but it doesn't sound like him at all. I've asked my siblings and we all agree his wife wrote it. It doesn't say "Hi this is X as dad isn't up to replying to messages atm", she is just straight up pretending to be him.
Am I wrong to think this is just fucking weird??! I don't know what to make of it. It's making an already very difficult and worrying situation worse. Now I feel like I can't contact my dad because I won't know if it's him I'm speaking to or not! I just can't get my head around it.
For info, I live at the other end of the country and have had most of this information relayed by a sibling. Young children etc means I can't just drop things and go to his, and I don't know if he'd want me there anyway.
I'm at a loss as to how to deal with this.