Unfair sibling inheritance?

[Sooperdooper19]

I have 2 sisters and 2 brothers. 3 of us are married and work although none of us are high earners, own small cheap houses and rarely holiday abroad etc. One sister had been on benefits for many years due to MH issues and now also has mobility issues. She lives in an HA flat.

Then there is my youngest sister who is mid 40s. She has never left home and has only worked part time in a minimum wage job for many years. No idea why she doesn’t work full time but that’s her business. She has no medical issues preventing full time work btw.

My mum is very unwell and likely to live only a few months and my dad passed with COVID last year. I have recently found out that myself and my younger sister are executors for their will and have also discovered that my sister is able to remain in my parents house for 15 years after the death of my mum at which time, the house can be sold and split 5 ways. As future beneficiaries, the 4 other siblings are expected to assist in keeping the property in good order during the 15 year period.

I don’t mind as I have what I want and don’t have or want an expensive lifestyle. However, 2 of my other siblings are really not happy that the house can’t be sold within say a year (as they believe that is plenty of time to give my living at home sister chance to sort out alternative accommodation). They feel like she is being rewarded for being lazy and not making her own independent life.

I should point out she refuses to do any care for my mum apart from cooking her meals when she makes her own. Everything else is dealt with by carers.

My mum doesn’t have capacity now to change her will. My siblings wish to contest the will legally when mum dies and expect me to want to do the same. Although I agree to a certain extent and agree my sister is a lazy freeloader, it feels wrong to go against my parents wishes.

So AIBU to help contest the will when I’m not morally convinced it is the right thing to do?

@LakieLady

People make provision in their wills for a reason. Even if that reason if is flawed or unfair, it's what they want, and I think it is wrong for beneficiaries to challenge that and seek to go against the wishes expressed in the will, unless there's a suspicion of coercion or abuse.

I think it would be very wrong for an executor, who was chosen to carry out the wishes of the deceased, to be party to such a challenge.

You cannot state in your will that someone has to pay for the maintenance of a property out of their own pockets for the next 15 years. That is not feasible and couldn't be enforced. If the mother wanted the house maintained then there should be a provision of funds to do this. Hopefully when the time comes, a good solicitor will sort this out without the other 4 siblings being out of pocket. If the sister living at home had any conscience she'd agree to find somewhere else to live and allow all siblings to get their inheritance while it's still worth something.

@DenisetheMenace

Has the sibling who is benefitting been caring for your parents? If she has, I’d say that may be fair.

No she hasn’t been caring for them. Dad died suddenly and was in good health til then and mum has only deteriorated in the past 6 months. She was in hospital for a few weeks and when they wanted to discharge her, my sister didn’t want her to come home and to go into a care home.

Mum really really didn’t want this, we know she only has a few weeks left at most so myself and another sister fought to get her home with a full care package (24/7) in place as the ‘living at home’ sister refused to do any care. Which is fair enough but she refuses to do anything (apart from cook meals). That’s her prerogative.

And to those asking if she can afford the upkeep, I imagine so as she has no mortgage/rent to pay. And she could get a full time job to make up any shortfall! I think we do have a legal obligation to upkeep the house but will have to check that out. I will happily help contest that bit!

My fiances grandmother had two daughters and a son with downs syndrome. She created a trust and wrote in her will that her older daughter should live in the house and visit her brother in his care home, and the house should be sold when he dies. Due to the fact her daughter told her she would visit if allowed to live in the house. What actually happened was the older daughter, my future mother in law, decided she wanted to install lodgers but not to live there. She was made to kick them out so stopped speaking to her sister except through solicitors and refused to do repairs. Nine years later the house is in a state of disrepair and future MIL still just visits the empty house very occasionally. She is 77 so probably even less as she gets into her 80s, then the house will be abandoned. My point is that the sorts of situations with one sibling being allowed to live in the parents house long term often get very messy very quickly.

@honeylulu

Solicitor here. The will sounds a bit odd and not properly drafted. Was it done by a solicitor? It sounds like the intention of your parents was to create a 15 year trust with your sister as the beneficiary and the other siblings as trustees. But a trust will normally specify how the costs of administering the trust are to be funded - the testator cannot simply decree that the trustees fund this out of their own pocket.

I don't think you sound like vultures at all. You are sensible to try and get to the bottom of what was actually intended and if it is legally workable. For example a trust might provide that income from the asset (from renting out rooms etc) is to fund its upkeep, as the asset is something that the testator has the power to bequeath. However, a testator will not have the power and control to command that the trustees spend their own private income on the upkeep, because that income is not the testator's to bequeath.

It might be better for all the siblings to enter into a deed of variation so that you all get your share in early course and your sister can get on the property ladder with a smaller more manageable property. This happened with my MILs will which contained an unworkable trust. Your sister would need to be advised to seek independent legal advice of course but it may be her preference too unless she wants to be beholden to fund the upkeep from her modest income or from renting out rooms.

Thanks for this, really helpful and quite reassuring. I’ll have to speak to mums solicitor to get to the bottom of the maintenance expectations but really don’t feel comfortable doing this whilst mum’s alive.

And the will has definitely been drafted by a proper solicitor.

I really wish my sister would agree to sell the house sooner rather than later. I think the others would be open to her getting a bigger share to help her secure alternative accommodation but she absolutely will not be open to that. She has lived there all her life so I do kind of get it.

@Sooperdooper19 I am sorry to hear that I hope your sister has some compassion for what she is doing. But I feel like once I’ve now hit my 30 year mark, I don’t expect people to develop a conscience.

In the ideal scenario, your sibling would be happy for the property to be sold whilst it has some value (unless there is an indication that the property price will shoot up in the next 5-10 years?) and that way everyone has a fair share.

Or she can continue staying there rent free as has been the case already, but use that time to work full-time and contribute a lot more towards the upkeep of the house whilst she still remains in the property. She should have more than enough squirreled away already if she’s been living there for so long but if she already views this as her forever home, or expects to be bailed out like she has been thus far, chances are she’s not saved much.

Your DM can’t force your disabled DSis in a tiny flat to fork out her benefits to keep workless DSis in a large family house.

She can’t make you pay either.

@sbhydrogen

Sorry about your dad and about your mum's I'll health.

Man, this is a bit of a pickle. I'd be annoyed if I were in this situation. 15 years is a looooong time. I have nothing useful to add, but I do hope it works out for you all.

Thanks....it’s the 15 year thing that’s pissing me off the most to be honest. I just don’t want to fall out with the ‘annoyed siblings’ as I know they will not be happy if I refuse to contest. But I agree with PPs, there could be nothing left at the end of it all and what is there to contest??

Sometimes I wish I was an only ‘child’!

Thanks for everyone’s opinions, really appreciated. It’s good to get opinions from those without a vested interest.

@Supersimkin2

Your DM can’t force your disabled DSis in a tiny flat to fork out her benefits to keep workless DSis in a large family house.

She can’t make you pay either.

Well quite, sister on benefits will not be contributing anything will she!

Can your sister afford to live there alone and support herself? She might not have a mortgage but she will still have council tax, utility bills etc, which she could struggle with if she’s only working part time.

If only people thought these kind of things through before making out wills because these decisions can often leave families in tatters.

It’s really unfair I feel. 2 years would be adequate. She probably thought it was fair but clearly it’s not. She’s mid 40’s so should be more than capable of living independently 🙄

I’m clearly with your siblings OP.

@PhillipPhillop

Crikey, you sound like a bunch of vultures who would rather your sister be homeless so you can get your hands on the cash. The point about the upkeep is that it is in your best interests to keep it in good condition otherwise you could lose ££££ having to sell as a doer-upper. For whatever reason your DM didn't want to see your sister homeless and 5 years will give her time to consider what she's going to do. How about help and encouragement from the rest of you so she might get out sooner?

Why do freeloaders get so much support on this site? If she's living there for free, has no reason not to work then she should be at least paying 80% of the market value rent to the other siblings.

How is it legal for your mum to order 4 of you to pay for the upkeep of a house you won’t meaningfully own out of your own pockets? What if none of you could afford it? What if you all died in the next 15 years?
This is what is puzzling me too!
I really don’t see how you can be ordered to pay money to maintain à property. Is the eventual inheritance dependent on that? Who is to say what maintenance is required snd to what standard?
I would just refuse to pay anything. Hiw can it be overseen/enforced?

You should draw up an agreement that allows your parents wishes to be carried out but clearly defines to areas of communal contribution and the other areas your habiting Sister must pay.
i.e Council tax, utilities etc. I would also be careful if she can use the house as security for credit.
It might be prudent to set up a fund where you each contribute monthly so that other costs associated with the upkeep of the property can be paid. This would allow you to build up cash rather than have the need to collect funds later which some might not have.
I know it might grate to pay upkeep on a house your sister is living and benefiting from but at least you are protecting your asset and will therefore maximise its value at the time of sale.
What age will your sister be in15yrs would she be in a position to get a mortgage and be of a age to make an application ( under 65 )
Maybe get something drawn up legally that you all sign so nobody is able to deny understanding the need to be rehoused in15yrs and the need to equally contribute to the property upkeep in the meantime.

You do realise she's very unlikely to move out willingly in 15 years time.

If one of you lost your job or needed benefits, I think your share of the house would prevent you from receiving any benefits, if the value is over the threshold? I could be wrong though. Also if the sister moved in a partner who did contribute financially to repairs or was say a builder who put in a new bathroom, they could claim a 'beneficial interest ' and get some money from the property if they won in court.

I think you can contest such a will.And it might be difficult to get her out after 15 years. I'd try and sort it out now,

It might be cheaper to see how much she wants extra to sell now.

A Will can only be contested on specific grounds eg person was not of sound mind not just because family think it is not unfair
Maintenance,if house is in trust normally person living in house pays for general upkeep and people who will eventually inherit pay for major things eg new roof
Take proper legal advice

@sooperdooper19 I just noticed you have said there is a sister on benefits? I think she will need to speak to the benefits people as if she owns a share in a house. Especially if she is receiving housing benefit. I think if someone owns part of a house but gets lots of benefits it could get complicated as it could be seen as an asset.

I don’t understand how you can have a legal obligation to maintain the house. I would refuse

@honeylulu

Solicitor here. The will sounds a bit odd and not properly drafted. Was it done by a solicitor? It sounds like the intention of your parents was to create a 15 year trust with your sister as the beneficiary and the other siblings as trustees. But a trust will normally specify how the costs of administering the trust are to be funded - the testator cannot simply decree that the trustees fund this out of their own pocket.

I don't think you sound like vultures at all. You are sensible to try and get to the bottom of what was actually intended and if it is legally workable. For example a trust might provide that income from the asset (from renting out rooms etc) is to fund its upkeep, as the asset is something that the testator has the power to bequeath. However, a testator will not have the power and control to command that the trustees spend their own private income on the upkeep, because that income is not the testator's to bequeath.

It might be better for all the siblings to enter into a deed of variation so that you all get your share in early course and your sister can get on the property ladder with a smaller more manageable property. This happened with my MILs will which contained an unworkable trust. Your sister would need to be advised to seek independent legal advice of course but it may be her preference too unless she wants to be beholden to fund the upkeep from her modest income or from renting out rooms.

Just read on other posts other than OP’s. That’s a great point. Hopefully OP can get their siblings all on board for a workable solution that benefits everyone.

@Thehouseofmarvels What happened to your fiancé’s grandmother sounds like such a sad situation. It clearly wasn’t workable and I’ve found that you money sullies things and brings out some really odd characteristics in people that might otherwise seem so out of character. I can see why your future MIL got lodgers in as that might have helped maintain the house otherwise she might not have been able to do that on a modest income. I hope his uncle in the care home is still receiving visits though.

Yes. I think YABU. It is not your house. You do not own it. It is your parent’s house and they bought it and they get to decide whatever they want to do with it.
As well as your mum being incapable of changing her will now, you would also be going against your dad’s wishes.
Ultimately the only part that is unreasonable is the expectation that you contribute to maintaining the home. But then you have a vested interest in it. I would however be careful and keep an eye on your sister being able to secure any loans again the house. Would the house be in her name for these 15 years?

Forgive me if I've missed this, but have any of your siblings (or you) actually spoken to your sister about it?

But a trust will normally specify how the costs of administering the trust are to be funded - the testator cannot simply decree that the trustees fund this out of their own pocket.

@honeylulu, could OP's other leave a separate financial inheritance to the other siblings on trust on the basis that part of it is used for upkeep of the house?

Sorry, that should have been mother, not other.