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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think my ds isnt overweight due to diet

224 replies

Hannahgirl · 20/05/2021 16:32

2nd post within a day !!
Hi my son 5 has severe asd and hes literally on the go all the time he never sits still for a sec. He never eats breakfast lunch or dinner. His snacks tend to be fruit or a sandwich etc. Hes overweight by 2 stone.
He is a very tall boy. Aibu

OP posts:
LaurieFairyCake · 20/05/2021 17:26

There are 3 options:

  1. He's got a medical condition
  1. You can't count accurately (photograph every single thing he eats/drinks before you give it to him)
  1. He's getting food without you knowing - I know children who've gone down during the night to eat
Starlightstarbright1 · 20/05/2021 17:27

The food diary will help you understand his calorie intake.

My ds (asd ) would sneak food ,,, no reason he isn't denied food but was like a drain pipe.

Lougle · 20/05/2021 17:27

It's (genuinely) almost as simple as calories in = weight gain. I can say that because DD1 has an eating disorder. 15 weeks ago she was so underweight that she was admitted to hospital. She's gained 12kg because she's had more calories in than she needs to maintain her weight (deliberately!).

Tibtom · 20/05/2021 17:27

Even if he does have a medical condition he would still be overweight due to diet. Though in that case he would need a very carefully monitored diet to control his weight whilst ensuring he has enough nutrition. Still diet though

Dishwashersaurous · 20/05/2021 17:27

He's overweight.
The professionals aren't sure why.
Thats why they have asked you to do a food diary.

Sounds like the system is working

enjoyingscience · 20/05/2021 17:30

Hopefully they’ll give you good guidance on the food diary, but you need to be scrupulously honest. Things like discounting the sandwich because he only had a few bites (so half a sandwich?) isn’t going to help.

starbrightstarlight8888 · 20/05/2021 17:31

Op you're not saying a lot. Can you give us anymore details?

EmeraldShamrock · 20/05/2021 17:33

It's (genuinely) almost as simple as calories in = weight gain. I can say that because DD1 has an eating disorder. 15 weeks ago she was so underweight that she was admitted to hospital.
I'd usually completely agree as a slim adult without much effort but like that it's easy said.
I definitely have a fast metabolic system.
I'm hearing you OP my chunky DC eats the same as my mini me DC and he is always on the move.
My thoughts have changed on calories in vs calories out in all cases.

EmeraldShamrock · 20/05/2021 17:35

Little changes grill food, brown bread, reduced fat butter, we never use frying oils.

CandyLeBonBon · 20/05/2021 17:36

@EmeraldShamrock eating fat doesn't make you overweight!

cuparfull · 20/05/2021 17:36

Does he have a discernible waist of a layer of fat around his middle?
Given you say he's tall, what size clothes is he in?
BMI isn't a very reliable gauge of being overweight but if he's got fat around his waistline, he's getting the excess calories from somewhere.
Also consider any medication may make him retain water.

PurpleDaisies · 20/05/2021 17:38

I think you need to trust the professionals who are actually able to see your son and know his full medical history.

It would be helpful for you to record weights of what he’s eating to help them work out his daily calorie intake. Sandwiches (for example) can vary a lot depending on exactly what’s in them.

SleepingStandingUp · 20/05/2021 17:40

I'd be seriously concerned if my 5 yr old on a daily basis are a few bites of Sandwich, a few bites of apple and a glass of milk. And that's from someone who's child is partly tube fed. But that doesn't tie in with a child who's "overweight" even if they are tall.

How tall and heavy is he @Hannahgirl.
I think you need to be keeping a did diary and make sure you know exactly what he's eating every day.

Is he just 5 or nearly 6 or in the middle?

MaybeNotTheWisestOwl · 20/05/2021 17:40

I'll preface this my saying that there is a child in my wider family with huge weight issues (also tall) and this all sounds very familiar.

Sadly, concern for my relative has torn our wider family apart as everyone has fallen out over it. Those concerned for his welfare haven't been listened to, and it's been a decade long shit-show. We are still on good terms with the child's parents (and in the minority there) but I'm reading your posts saying 'he eats hardly anything' with a good dose of scepticism.

'He eats a few bites here, a few there' isn't good enough if he's two stone overweight at 5. Perhaps he's overeating, perhaps he has a metabolic disorder- either way you MUST pay attention to everything he is eating. My Fitness Pal is great for recording everything he puts in his mouth. Weigh the food, make the effort to document it over a prolonged period. Regardless of where the issue lies you need to do this- you'll either see that he's actually consuming more calories than you thought, OR you'll have the evidence you need to have a metabolic disorder properly investigated.

The child in our family 'ate nothing' too (he ate way too much, but his parents and grandparents didn't and wouldn't see it) and he's been diagnosed with a genetic illness that increases hunger and affects metabolism. His genetic diagnosis has given family members an 'excuse', as though it can't be helped... so he continues to 'eat nothing' (he eats LOADS).

We all have different metabolisms, and we all have to cut our cloth accordingly, if we are to avoid being unhealthily over or under weight.

The best thing you can do right now is to put effort into recording every bite that goes into his mouth, and go from there.

FilledSoda · 20/05/2021 17:42

What's your question ?
AYBU about what ?
If he's overweight he's overweight but his height is probably more significant than his age.
I'm glad you're getting professional help.
I'm still not sure what you're asking though.

Miseryl · 20/05/2021 17:42

Unless he's as tall as an adult, two stone overweight is an awful lot for a small child. My five year old only weighs 2.5 stone! How tall is he and how much does he weigh?

Hannahgirl · 20/05/2021 17:43

Sorry for lack of information!!
4 children at this time are hard work
His weight gain started roughly a year ago. At the time i mentioned it to his nurse who told me to keep an eye on it. Its just shot right up and i dont why. He has someone with him all day including at school and and night he has a safe space bed so definitely not helping himself. I have considered my other children perhaps but unlikely due him having an adult there. His school are concerned as he doesn't eat a thing there. I made him appointment as im getting worried and clearly it needs addressing. I dont know his weight or height as i dont keep scales in the house due to a past eating disorder. The doctor said his bmi was overweight by 2 stone.

OP posts:
TatianaBis · 20/05/2021 17:44

Is he actually fat OP?

motogogo · 20/05/2021 17:44

You need to keep a record, ideally for a week of everything he eats and ensure he's not helping himself to extra snacks. The fast majority of people who claim not to know why they are overweight are in fact eating too much, I say this as an overweight person, it's because I eat too much!

With toddlers and children sometimes parents overestimate how much food they need eg I slice of bread for a sandwich is enough at 5, cheese is very calorific, is he snacking on cheese? The diary will show what he's actually eating then you can work out the calories roughly, only then can a health professional be able to gauge if there's a medical problem

Hannahgirl · 20/05/2021 17:44

Oh yes by aibu to think that he has a medical reason is causing his weight gain.

OP posts:
OwlTwitterings · 20/05/2021 17:45

It’s either a medical issue or diet. Sounds like the blood tests are the best next course of action.

If it’s diet alone, you might do better to do a packed lunch he can graze on throughout the day so you get a better idea of what calories he is having.

Hannahgirl · 20/05/2021 17:45

@TatianaBis

Is he actually fat OP?
Hes big yes wouldn't say he looks fat.
OP posts:
GreyhoundG1rl · 20/05/2021 17:47

Can you do his BMI calculation, op, if you say he's tall?

OwlTwitterings · 20/05/2021 17:48

He’s five and he is two stone overweight. I’m sorry but he is fat. My six year old is 3 stone 2 pounds and 50th centile.

freakyfridays · 20/05/2021 17:48

Keep an exact diary of EVERYTHING he eats, every single mouthful, every drink.

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