do they still owe us money?

[expat101]

About two months ago we were invited to dinner at neighbours further along the road. Hubby admired some of their glassware, and was offered a box of a smaller design which we said no thanks to. I mentally thought I would buy a set next time I was shopping at the home shop.

During dinner, I mentioned we had our work cut out for us overcoming weekends on a project we had set a deadline for. Didn't think anything more of it until a week or so later, neighbours asked Hubby if they could have some landscaping items that came with our property, that if they had to buy retail, would have been quite pricey.

We were happy for them to have the items and was of the opinion they were organising a 3rd party to come and collect those items.

They offered X amount for each of the items which was agreeable.

The next week, one of them calls Hubby on his mobile instead of landline asking that the items be delivered by Hubby as their landscaper (they had shown us the quotes at dinner and all thought the costs were excessive, didn't think they were able to go ahead with employing one) was being held up in his work by not having the items.

(Apparently and Hubby is vague on the reason why) there was some problem with the 3rd party being available to organise the collection, so Hubby ended up doing it which meant our project became delayed and I had to reschedule other works around it.

(Two weeks later the 3rd party was at their property undertaking other work, and the work the landscaper was supposedly delayed over, still has not occurred).

Hubby dropped off some preserves I made this week, and they gave him a box of the glassware we had admired.

At the same time, they mentioned the money that was owed for the landscaping items Hubby delivered, and Hubby assumed the glassware was of similar value, and said don't worry about it.

When I got home and he told me of the arrangement, he asked if I thought the glassware was about the same value and I said I thought not. I have since had a look online at local shops and the value is about 1/4 of the agreed price for the landscaping items.

So not only have we lost time on our project, he isn't being paid for the landscaping bits and pieces either..

My gut feeling is they are taking the piss. They have had a falling out with another neighbour for similar reasons (in his case, they were ''broke'' and unable to afford this and that, so he helped them out with supplies he had at home, only to find they bought some very expensive furniture at the same time).

Am I right in thinking they should still pay for the landscaping items and the glassware is a gift because of the additional work Hubby went to, in delivering the items?

AIBU - Or should I just chalk it up to experience and think its friendship give and take?

Your husband has already told them not to worry about it, so I'd chalk it up to experience

Your husband has chosen to complete the deal by taking glassware in return, it's a fait accomplit now.

I think you're husband has already settled the deal by accepting the glassware. 😯

As the glassware was not part of the original agreement for the sale of the items I would be wanting the money and asking for it now. If they mention the glassware I would say "Well lets leave that on one side as it was not part of the original agreement and concentrate on completing our contract."

Im not into this "favour for a neighbour" culture. Its always best to treat transactions in a businesslike manner preferably with the agreement in writing.

I have often found that NDNs are entitled fuckers who think you are going to donate your time and efforts for nothing. Like the lady who admired a face covering I made and asked if I would make her one. I responded that I had not thought of making them to sell but if I did I would give her a price." On a number of occasions Ive told people my time is not free so shall we say ££? "Ill let you think about it and get back to me." No one has ever got back to me so I assume they did whatever it was for themselves or roped in someone else.

I think they're being CFers, but it sounds like your husband agreed to call it even so YWBU to ask for more. Chalk it up to experience and don't offer them any help or get involved in any more financial deals with them.

Of course they don't still owe you money! Your husband has seen to that.

Nothing you can do now.

It doesn't sound like they're taking the piss to me - they didn't say "Here's glassware instead of the money", your husband caused this situation, not them!

I don't understand any of this thread.
What items? How did this delay you? I'm confused.

Your husband has said don't worry about it now though. The prat.

"Thanks for the glasses. To make things easier, just pay DH [100% - 25%] £ for the garden stuff xx"

Your H is the problem tripping himself up to sort them out instead of cracking on with your own stuff

I would never have agreed to deliver the items, especially as it made your project late. Sounds like OP and DH are people pleasers. Stand up for yourselves more and don't worry about being disagreeable. Use the word No. Of course they should pay. They are absolute cheeky fuckers and have seen you two divvies coming from a mile away.

'Hubby assumed the glassware was of similar value, and said don't worry about it.'

Sort of answered your own question in the post. Silly Hubby.

Thanks Everyone for your posts and thoughts. Totally agree with all of them.

From how the conversation was relayed to me, he dropped the preserves in, while he was there, they handed him the glasses and then brought up the fact they owe X for the landscaping supplies.

Because he was A. stupid B. surprised/taken aback C. grateful for the glasses, (in no particular order) in turn he has said, oh don't worry about the money.

I do think he was played though...

If they had handed over the funds and glasses at the same time, the onus could have been on him to consider handing back some of the money.

They could have also said, look we bought the glasses as you had to go out of your way to deliver XYZ when we had planned on using (contractor) which fell through.

That's the way I would have gone about it, had the shoe been on the other foot.

Anyhow done and dusted, but it irked me enough to post to see what you all thought too. Thankyou.

You have a too agreeable DH problem.

He needs to learn how to say, "I'll think about it and get back to you."

Repeat.

It’s done, draw a line under it, but be wary in the future.

I put more blame on these neighbors. It seems they're slick at snatching an extra good deal for themselves at the expense of friends and neighbors. It's easy to get taken when you aren't expecting someone to pull a fast one on you. I agree that this deal's done now but would avoid these neighbors in the future.

You could take the glasses back and say H didn't realise you have bought some
Then you could ask for cash. They have played you so this would be a way to get them to pay up

Hmm no, still can’t see that NDNs did anything wrong, even with your update and your attempts to blame it on them.

Your DH didn’t need to accept the glasses in lieu of payment, no one forced him. So it’s on him I’m afraid, not them.

They’re cheeky but your husband is an idiot, frankly. Since he agreed to accept the glassware in lieu I don’t think you can insist on monetary payment now. Lesson learned for next time!

He's agree with everyone else. Your DH was the issue here.

If the sum involved is significant, I would take the glasses back round myself and politely tell them that you would rather have the money as previously agreed. No further explanation needed. If they refuse, it shows them for what they are - cheeky fuckers and the friendship would end there.

Your husband agreed. Tough.
He should have said no when they asked him to take stuff round if he didn't have time and he shouldn't have told them not to pay for the stuff.

I think DH made a mistake in saying don't worry about the cost and it's probably too late for him to take it back now. By the sounds of itgiving you glassware was a nice gesture on their part, DH then refused payment for the landscaping stuff so of course the NDNs think it's all done and dusted.

It's not a fair deal but unfortunately your DH agreed to it when he told them to forget about the money.

To be honest they sound like CFs and I doubt they were ever going to pay you so at least you got some glassware and a lesson learned.

Just out of business, why couldn't they collect the landscaping items themselves when their landscaper couldn't rather than your DH delivering them?

I don’t think it’s the neighbours either
Your husband could have said he didn’t have time to deliver the garden stuff and he could have said thanks, here’s my bank details when they offered to pay for it.