do they still owe us money?

[expat101]

About two months ago we were invited to dinner at neighbours further along the road. Hubby admired some of their glassware, and was offered a box of a smaller design which we said no thanks to. I mentally thought I would buy a set next time I was shopping at the home shop.

During dinner, I mentioned we had our work cut out for us overcoming weekends on a project we had set a deadline for. Didn't think anything more of it until a week or so later, neighbours asked Hubby if they could have some landscaping items that came with our property, that if they had to buy retail, would have been quite pricey.

We were happy for them to have the items and was of the opinion they were organising a 3rd party to come and collect those items.

They offered X amount for each of the items which was agreeable.

The next week, one of them calls Hubby on his mobile instead of landline asking that the items be delivered by Hubby as their landscaper (they had shown us the quotes at dinner and all thought the costs were excessive, didn't think they were able to go ahead with employing one) was being held up in his work by not having the items.

(Apparently and Hubby is vague on the reason why) there was some problem with the 3rd party being available to organise the collection, so Hubby ended up doing it which meant our project became delayed and I had to reschedule other works around it.

(Two weeks later the 3rd party was at their property undertaking other work, and the work the landscaper was supposedly delayed over, still has not occurred).

Hubby dropped off some preserves I made this week, and they gave him a box of the glassware we had admired.

At the same time, they mentioned the money that was owed for the landscaping items Hubby delivered, and Hubby assumed the glassware was of similar value, and said don't worry about it.

When I got home and he told me of the arrangement, he asked if I thought the glassware was about the same value and I said I thought not. I have since had a look online at local shops and the value is about 1/4 of the agreed price for the landscaping items.

So not only have we lost time on our project, he isn't being paid for the landscaping bits and pieces either..

My gut feeling is they are taking the piss. They have had a falling out with another neighbour for similar reasons (in his case, they were ''broke'' and unable to afford this and that, so he helped them out with supplies he had at home, only to find they bought some very expensive furniture at the same time).

Am I right in thinking they should still pay for the landscaping items and the glassware is a gift because of the additional work Hubby went to, in delivering the items?

AIBU - Or should I just chalk it up to experience and think its friendship give and take?

Your neighbours spotted ye are complete mugs and took advantage of ye.

Honestly I would be embarrassed at allowing anyone take such advantage of me.

🤷🏻‍♀️

YABU because your DH said not to worry about it.

What the hell kind of glasses are these, that you feel they are equal in value to " landscape items"
?
( Bag of barkchip, or a mini digger?)

I bet the problem is that OP's husband does favours all the time, and it eats into family/ work time.

Not your neighbors fault though, they offered.

I think it's a fat accomplice now that your husband has told them not to worry about the money.

Personally I'd hate to feel that I was diddling my helpful neighbours out of cash. So if I were in your neighbours' position and knew it, I'd be mortified. I'd therefore be receptive to your coming round and explaining that you were out of pocket on the deal.

But it doesn't sound like they will be.

If you do decide to go round, don't let "hubby" do it.

@BadLad

I think it's a fat accomplice now that your husband has told them not to worry about the money.

Personally I'd hate to feel that I was diddling my helpful neighbours out of cash. So if I were in your neighbours' position and knew it, I'd be mortified. I'd therefore be receptive to your coming round and explaining that you were out of pocket on the deal.

But it doesn't sound like they will be.

If you do decide to go round, don't let "hubby" do it.

A fat accomplice! Dying.

Your ndn appeared to be willing to pay, it was only because when they asked your DH how much they owed, that he wiped the slate clean with his reply, that they didn’t. Unfortunately transactions of this nature between friends/family can often get a bit complex because it’s not looked on as a business transaction and can seem a bit awkward.

Which is worse, 'fat accomplice' or 'hubby'?

@TrickyD if I call my husband either of these he gets a bit upset.

This is your DH’s responsibility.

He offered up the ‘oh don’t worry’.

If you go to the neighbours now you are treating him like a kid where the Mum has to go round and say ‘unfortunately my Ds has swapped his X Box for your Ds’s tennis ball’.

The neighbours may be CFs, or generally lax and chilled, or a bit chaotic, or they may have ‘played’ him in a deliberate Machiavellian ploy, but in the spirit of Bon homie it’s easy to get carried away as your DH did.

Do you enjoy socialising with these neighbours?

How big is the financial sum? Can’t be massive if your DH even thought a box of glasses was equivalent.

MN is great for stoking disputes. I would shrug, say ‘aaargh’ to DH, and move on.

I agree about it being a fat accomplice now.

Your DH needs a slap, you have been scammed but there is nothing to be done about it!

Everyone has already said it but your husband agreed the trade when he accepted the glasses.
Be very wary about doing business with these neighbours again, they seem adept at getting a good deal and I think you’ve both been too kind and accommodating.
You & DH should Have a read up on assertiveness in case they try to pull a CF stunt again, so you don’t get done over.

What did he deliver and how long did it take. Neighbours would indicate they lived fairly nearby. How much did this delay you by.

They must know though, I would just call them and say there was a miss understanding and that they still owe you the difference in money as agreed . Yes it's a verbal contract but unless someone takes them to court it's not enforceable.. you can appeal to them and say he was taken aback etc and they knew the original deal and the difference is such and such . I'm fed up of piss takers !

Do you come from a culture where it's considered rude to say no to requests and your neighbours know this?

I can't think of any other reason why it could be their fault that your Dh has bent over backwards to inconvenience himself.

Your neighbours are chancers, however they did offer to pay even after they'd given your dh the glassware, your dh is a bit daft to say 'don't worry about it' (this was probably their plan all along) , so you can't now ask them for money.

They’ve hosted several dinners and asked how much they still owed so NO, I don’t think they’re being cheeky fuckers at all.

It’s your hubby who’s at fault here, for not keeping the financial side separate and being a soft touch. Complain to him.

@BigHeadBertha

I put more blame on these neighbors. It seems they're slick at snatching an extra good deal for themselves at the expense of friends and neighbors. It's easy to get taken when you aren't expecting someone to pull a fast one on you. I agree that this deal's done now but would avoid these neighbors in the future.

This and it can take you by surprise.

There will be a next time they want something. That will be a no or money upfront and no delivering. You have to be blunt and clear on this sort of stuff or they carry on taking the piss.

@billy1966

Your neighbours spotted ye are complete mugs and took advantage of ye.

Honestly I would be embarrassed at allowing anyone take such advantage of me.

🤷🏻‍♀️

It's only embarrassing if it happens twice.

Mark their card.

Draw a line under it.

They seem well practiced in the art of shafting.

Thanks all for your time. :)

Certainly is a done deal, the tipping point for me to post here was DH (I hadn’t realised I had over used Hubby until reading your replies -sorry) received another call just prior to me posting, in regard to removing surplus to their requirements landscaping items from their place).

(Nothing we have expressed to anyone we needed nor wanted) that would have required DH to use his heavy machinery (again) and spend considerable time on the weekend to undertake.

I feel Its along the lines that it’s one less thing for their landscaper to do, and one less cost if it had to be disposed of elsewhere. If that makes sense.

It’s a rural district, so not next door in sense of location and def. nothing you could hand over the fence in either instance...

Please tell us you said no?

They asked your dh how much they owed and HE said 'don't worry about it'. I think if you want to blame anyone you need to look at your husband!

@cansu

They asked your dh how much they owed and HE said 'don't worry about it'. I think if you want to blame anyone you need to look at your husband!

No, they didn't say this at all.

The price was agreed prior to supply. They brought it up that they still owed us the funds when handing over the glasses to Hubby.

It wasn't how much do we owe you? But we still owe you for XYZ.

@gamerchick

Please tell us you said no?

Hahaha, yes indeed. :)

I interpret that differently.

I think the glasses were a gift to say thank you to your husband for the help, and they made the point about still owing for the materials to make it clear that the glasses were not in lieu of payment. It was just your husband that decided to waive the cost of materials.