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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

New neighbour, terraced house, seems to expect silence

779 replies

Bahhhhhumbug · 19/05/2021 01:34

New neighbour to my empty (atm) terraced property. As soon as moved in started sending me texts (got my number by asking previous neighbour she bought house off but that's a whole other thread) informing me there seems be a tv left on in the property.
She said l hope l didn't mind her texting me and she askedfor my number.
I texted prev. neighbours and queried whether their buyer knew my house was empty and she said yes as she had told her.
I have always got on very well with former neighbour so didn't 'pull her up' on giving out my number as was very out of character and just figured she got caught on the hop in what was a very stressful house move for unconnected reasons to this tale.
So l text back to new neighbour that yes l was aware and it was a radio left on a talking channel as the house was empty but thanks for letting me know.
Next day l get a phone call from her and she's all 'Hi (insert very shortened version of my name, which even the old neighbour never called me) and she tells me again the radio has been on all night (it hasn't its on a timer goes off about 11pm and a lamp comes on) because she ' can hear it ' l was l admit a little frosty with her as l was annoyed at these chummy texts and calls from someone who shouldn't even have my number and shouldn't have even asked for it imo though l accept old neighbour partly to blame.
I had to read between the lines at this point that she found it too loud so l said (without being asked) l would call next day, (which l did) and turn it down and move it to the far wall in the kitchen (no neighbours that side).
I've had another long text off her today after ld done all that saying can l please answer and confirm that l am going to turn it down (she wasnt in when l went round and obliged so obviously at this point didn't know l had already done so
) Whilst there l also checked upstairs l couldn't hear it wafting up the stairs which l couldn't whatsoever and l have good hearing. It is quieter than a normal volume speaking voice and you can only hear it after you've gone two doors into the house, it's about a volume 3 on Alexa equivalent.
Old neighbour when asked said couldn't hear it when l was in there and neither could l.
Shes rang me twice again now and l just ignored her in the hope she will text me and tell me what the fucks wrong now. She did then text saying she wants it switching off as she can still hear it.
She keeps bringing up that she works from home and l get impression she seems to think that means should be almost silence from neighbouring properties. Or maybe because the vendors told her my house was empty she had an expectation of it being completely silent.
If people moved in they would be entitled to watch tv, talk, have radio on etc and all at a higher wolume than one quiet radio. WWYD as she is really getting on my nerves now.
If l was a rude person l might suggest she should've bought a detached house maybe, but lm not.

Subject:
New neighbour, terraced house, seems to expect silence

Message:
New neighbour to my empty (atm) terraced property. As soon as moved in started sending me texts (got my number by asking previous neighbour she bought house off but that's a whole other thread) informing me there seems be a tv left on in the property.
She said l hope l didn't mind her texting me and she askedfor my number.
I texted prev. neighbours and queried whether their buyer knew my house was empty and she said yes as she had told her.
I have always got on very well with former neighbour so didn't 'pull her up' on giving out my number as was very out of character and just figured she got caught on the hop in what was a very stressful house move for unconnected reasons to this tale.
So l text back to new neighbour that yes l was aware and it was a radio left on a talking channel as the house was empty but thanks for letting me know.
Next day l get a phone call from her and she's all 'Hi (insert very shortened version of my name, which even the old neighbour never called me) and she tells me again the radio has been on all night (it hasn't its on a timer goes off about 11pm and a lamp comes on) because she ' can hear it ' l was l admit a little frosty with her as l was annoyed at these chummy texts and calls from someone who shouldn't even have my number and shouldn't have even asked for it imo though l accept old neighbour partly to blame.
I had to read between the lines at this point that she found it too loud so l said (without being asked) l would call next day, (which l did) and turn it down and move it to the far wall in the kitchen (no neighbours that side).
I've had another long text off her today after ld done all that saying can l please answer and confirm that l am going to turn it down (she wasnt in when l went round and obliged so obviously at this point didn't know l had already done so
) Whilst there l also checked upstairs l couldn't hear it wafting up the stairs which l couldn't whatsoever and l have good hearing. It is quieter than a normal volume speaking voice and you can only hear it after you've gone two doors into the house, it's about a volume 3 on Alexa equivalent.
Old neighbour when asked said couldn't hear it when l was in there and neither could l.
Shes rang me twice again now and l just ignored her in the hope she will text me and tell me what the fucks wrong now. She did then text saying she wants it switching off as she can still hear it.
She keeps bringing up that she works from home and l get impression she seems to think that means should be almost silence from neighbouring properties. Or maybe because the vendors told her my house was empty she had an expectation of it being completely silent.
If people moved in they would be entitled to watch tv, talk, have radio on etc and all at a higher wolume than one quiet radio. WWYD as she is really getting on my nerves now.
If l was a rude person l might suggest she should've bought a detached house maybe, but lm not.

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OP posts:
Viviennemary · 19/05/2021 08:07

I think an sbsolut chedk leaving a radio on in an empty house. Id be quite annoyed too. Sorry. You're not the one listening to it.

Minezatea · 19/05/2021 08:10

She can hear it. It bothers her - as it would bother many people. You need to turn it off. If you don't care about her QoL, think about how easy it will be to sell the house if you get into a dispute with the neighbour (e.g. if she reports you to the council for being a noise nuisance).

OhTheIronyOfItAll · 19/05/2021 08:12

its on a timer goes off about 11pm

She can hear it, it’s annoying her and she has to wait until 11pm until she can sigh in relief that it’s finally off so she can relax and go to bed?
YABVVVU.
I had to listen to the neighbours TV in our last house & couldn’t go to sleep until they turned it off, I was up at 5am for work. It made me ill.

NoIdontwanttoseeyourknob · 19/05/2021 08:12

Ah, it’s one of those threads...

AIBU?
Yes, turn the radio off.
No I’m not and I’m not going to.

OhYouBadBadKitten · 19/05/2021 08:13

@Bahhhhhumbug

I have been in her house and listened for myself when previous owners in, whom lm friendly with and l couldn't hear it and l checked with them it wasn't a problem and they said couldn't hear it. They aren't sort who don't like to complain either as reported my last tenants constantly yapping dogs to them and then to me when they got nowhere.. Whoever said what's the point is that it's a high crime area and if someone broke a window at the back (the favourite) or broke in the back door they would hear voices. It's fooled me a couple of times when lve gone in preoccupied and thought who's in my kitchen, then lve remembered. It's in a fitted kitchen so not affected by furniture or lack off as kitchen has all cupboards fitted to walls obviously as you'd expect and anyone moving in wouldn't put freestanding extra furniture in a fitted kitchen obv. It is now near the far wall furthest from the adjoining wall.
Surely if someone broke a window they wouldn't be able to hear the radio due to the alarm going off?
FinallyHere · 19/05/2021 08:13

I would turn it off and not tell her. If she still complains, then you can explain that the noise is not coming from your house.

If it can't be heard from next door, what purpose does it serve?

freeez · 19/05/2021 08:13

I think this is possibly the most unreasonable thing I've ever read on here

Just turn it off. It's clearly annoying her and it serves no purpose whatsoever.

SoupDragon · 19/05/2021 08:14

If she can't bear a very quiet radio she is going to be totally pissed off with normal family noise.

GelfBride · 19/05/2021 08:16

The way sound is perceived varies from person to person and some sounds just irritate the shit out. We live near a road and the sound of it is zoned out I guess. Last Easter a neighbours son was given a quad bike and he spent all day going up and down a field near us and the sound drove us fucking demented! I went and had a word and he cut it down to just the eight hours a day. We had to leave the house for the best part of the day or apply for a gun license! We had ear plugs, ear defenders, music on. Nothing made a difference once we were sensitised to it and we are not whiners. Eventually the thing broke down and it is still where it did so rusting away. Turn the radio off and ask her to keep an eye on the place while it's empty. Befriend her. She might be a decent sort.

SoupDragon · 19/05/2021 08:17

If your house is empty, what are the burglars going to steal?

Fittings, copper pipe work, wiring.... I had a friend whose house was stripped by burglars just before they moved in. They even took the hot water tank.

NewMatress · 19/05/2021 08:17

I've lived in terraced houses, I didn't routinely hear a TV or radio. All day until 11pm would drive me mad. If she can hear it, it's surely too loud or at least in the wrong room, when you literally put it anywhere.

Noidea2114 · 19/05/2021 08:19

Wait until you start renovations she complain about that.

Sparklfairy · 19/05/2021 08:20

Just hurry up and get your friend to move in and actually have normal living noise and really give the neighbour something to moan about.

You say a refurb? It's going to be a pain when she starts moaning about banging around during that, let alone the odd drill or whatever.

I get what PPs are saying about the radio doesn't need to be on (in their opinion), but I'm not sure how much experience they have of living in really dodgy areas. They're also dismissing the OP's peace of mind over what sounds like an obviously neurotic neighbour. Sometimes once you notice something, if you don't sort your head out and let it go you become fixated on it and it seems worse than it is.

At the end of the day I would be dreading what she's going to be like during the refurb and ultimately having someone actually living there and having a tv/radio on.

Bottle of wine + earplugs as a gift? Grin

Aprilx · 19/05/2021 08:21

You are being so unreasonable I cannot even find the words.

Why on earth would you leave a radio on until 11pm that is doing nothing but disturb the neighbour. If she couldn’t hear it she wouldn’t say she could. The constant drone must be awful. Turn it off ffs.

And what you think it is doing is beyond me. You are being very unpleasant.

Gooseysgirl · 19/05/2021 08:23

I think she will be very happy to keep a eye on the house for you during the daytime if you just turn the radio off. Then everyone's happy!

Lorw · 19/05/2021 08:23

Just move a family in there, she will sharp complain then 😁

As for the radio I wouldn’t waste the electric tbh - I’d just appease her this time and be the bigger person 😁

LIZS · 19/05/2021 08:23

An empty house will amplify the sound. It would be different were you or even friend living there and making normal background noise. Burglars will know it is unoccupied if they bother to watch. Just do the lights and up your security if that is the reasoning.

MusicWithRocksIn1t · 19/05/2021 08:24

Turn it off, don't tell her and see if she keeps complaining, if she stops she can obviously hear it.
I do think having it on until 11 is ridiculous

Horehound · 19/05/2021 08:25

This is so stupid. A radio isn't going to deter a burglary and especially not if it's do quiet, apparently.

Just turn the damn thing off. Get a good, safe door and locks.

Ilovelove · 19/05/2021 08:25

Normal family noise from next door is very usual.
A constant burrrrr/muffled talk radio is awful.

Surely you can see how that would be irritating and go beyond typical next door noise? Why would you want someone to be distressed like that day in day out?

A radio is not going to make it seem like your unoccupied terrace is occupied so it doesn't serve the purpose you want so by keeping it on you are keeping you and your ndn in a conflict and both in a state of distress.

Free yourself - turn it off.

bigbaggyeyes · 19/05/2021 08:26

It serves no purpose so I'd turn it off. If someone breaks into the house and hears it they will suss it's a radio and carry on as planned.

If you turn it off the ndn will stop harassing you. Pick your battles op, Thai one seems pointless

Kottbullar · 19/05/2021 08:26

@Winkywonkydonkey

Other pointless things you could do to dissuade burglars:
  • ice on the outside steps
  • broken christmas baubles on the floor
  • manikins rigged up to dance around on a small train track
  • sit inside and pretend to be a voice off an old gangster film
GrinGrinGrin
SmallPrawnEnergy · 19/05/2021 08:28

She’s going to have a fucking breakdown when someone actually moves in and she has to deal with much louder noises.

I’d do as @MusicWithRocksIn1t says. Turn it off, don’t tell her and see if she still whines her tits off, then you know she’s either a twat or it is loud enough for her to hear it, and if it’s the latter... god fucking help her when you sell / move a tenant in.

Bluedeblue · 19/05/2021 08:28

Your poor, poor neighbour. YABVVVVVVVVVU

Bluntness100 · 19/05/2021 08:28

@MusicWithRocksIn1t

Turn it off, don't tell her and see if she keeps complaining, if she stops she can obviously hear it. I do think having it on until 11 is ridiculous
Well clearly the fact she’s started says she can hear it. It’s not like the op told her, she’d no other way to know it was on other than from hearing it.
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