Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

For putting this money into DCs savings account

94 replies

Yaaaat · 18/05/2021 14:31

Will keep it brief!

Given some money from grandparents. Early inheritance type situation.

We have spent the majority on doing up the house.

I now want to put the rest into our DCs savings account (about 1k).

Husband thinks unfair and we should do something that all family can enjoy not just one DC (2DSC) or at least split it equally.

I don't want to spend the money for the sake of it and would rather my grandparents money go to helping our DC with something when they are older like uni fees, house deposit, car or whatever.

OP posts:
Original poster
Yaaaat · 18/05/2021 14:32

DSC also don't have savings accounts. Have suggested it before to him but he's never bothered to do it. I think this bugs him as I've been saving monthly for our DC.

OP posts:
OnionsAreToxic · 18/05/2021 14:33

Your inheritance, your decision, OP. Do the DSC have grandparents?

AnotherKrampus · 18/05/2021 14:34

As it is money from your family, ultimately it is down to you to decide. Why should that money go to stepchildren? He needs to organise something for them if he is that bothered.

Mandsy100 · 18/05/2021 14:35

Yanbu. This is why I could never, ever do this blended family stuff. Op that's money from your gp to their gc. Absolutely all should go to your DC.

Aprilwasverywet · 18/05/2021 14:36

So he cba to organise savings for his own dc then moans that you won't? What an odd man!!

Timeforabiscuit · 18/05/2021 14:38

Your inheritance, your call - personally I would keep it in line with what you grandparent's would have intended for the gift.

Hadalifeonce · 18/05/2021 14:39

Put it in the savings account, as you say, no point spending for the sake of it. Little and often has certainly worked well for our DC, it's surprising how it it adds up.

arethereanyleftatall · 18/05/2021 14:41

Do you mean YOUR grandparents or your dh's grandparents?

arethereanyleftatall · 18/05/2021 14:42

Sorry - re read and saw the my on the last line!

You are right, your dh needs to save for his own dc.

MrsTerryPratchett · 18/05/2021 14:44

He can't be bothered to save for his children but you should? Umm no.

ALevelhelp · 18/05/2021 14:44

I think if the GP's want grandchildren to get it, and they don't regard the SC as their grandchildren then the money obviously goes to your DC. So if that's their plan, I'd respect that.

If it's not, I probably wouldn't argue over a fairly small amount of money, and would have used to have a family treat - holiday, new bikes etc.

Ultimately it's up to you what you do with it, and your DH has to respect that

Maryann1975 · 18/05/2021 14:44

Of course your Dh thinks the money should be split. If it’s not, his dc miss out. Presumably the dsc have another parent and grandparents? Will they be contributing to your dc saving fund? Didn’t think so!

Ohsugarhoneyicetea · 18/05/2021 14:48

I doubt that your grandparents would be happy about that. His kids will already benefit from what has been spent on the house one day. I wouldn't expect your DSC mothers parents to leave anything to your DC, why does he think this is any different.

Glittertwins · 18/05/2021 14:50

Does he also split all DSCs' money and gifts equitably across all of them? Bet he doesn't.

araiwa · 18/05/2021 14:50

Surely he has a say on family money?

MrsMiddleMother · 18/05/2021 14:51

I'd just put the money into DCs account. I also put money into our sons account monthly, husband doesn't for DSC but that's his decision and any money my family give me will go to my child unless told its also for dsc.

Blankscreen · 18/05/2021 14:53

YANBU

The DSC are already benefitting from having a nicer house to live in

It's your family money it goes to your dc. I doubt the ex would share her inheritance money with your children.

If

ThatIsMyPotato · 18/05/2021 14:54

I'd put it in your DCs account. He can't even be bothered to save for his kids himself.

MrsHuntGeneNotJeremyObviously · 18/05/2021 14:55

The money came from your family. You get to choose. You don't owe someone else's money to your step children. Obviously I don't know but I'd guess that your grandparents want to benefit you and your DC, not children completely unrelated, who also have their mother's side of the family.
If you do have an account for your own DC, I'd make sure your husband cannot change the terms of it (should anything happen to you) in order to claim 2/3 for his DC.

WilsonMilson · 18/05/2021 14:57

This is your dc ‘s money from his/her own grandparents, of course you’re not being unreasonable. Your dh is being hugely unreasonable for thinking that it has anything to do with your step kids.

I have step kids, and to think of my parents giving me money for my ds, their grandson, and my dh thinking his kids have any entitlement to it is frankly laughable and I’d tell him where to fuck off to.

JackieTheFart · 18/05/2021 15:01

@araiwa

Surely he has a say on family money?
He does have a say. OP is equally allowed to say that her step children have their own grandparents to inherit from so the answer is no.

Also suspect husband had a say in how the vast bulk was spent.

Hoppinggreen · 18/05/2021 15:01

Will your child inherit from the DSCs mums mum?
I doubt it

ALevelhelp · 18/05/2021 15:10

My DH has brought DS up as his own, his parents/family treat DS as an equal with DS2 - We lost FIL a few months ago and DS1 has inherited from him. However I never expect it, it's DH and the extended families choice over what they do or give to DS. DS is unlikely to inherit much from any of his Dads side of the family though.

GreyEyedWitch · 18/05/2021 15:21

The money should go to your DC only. The DSC have their own grandparents and even if they don't any longer, it's not up to you to make things 'fair' if they didn't/aren't set to inherit.

PlanDeRaccordement · 18/05/2021 15:27

YANBU wanting to put the money in your DCs account, but on the other hand it you spent the vast majority of the money on family stuff and now are fighting over pennies. £1 isn’t going to do much for uni or house deposit.