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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Identifying a pedophile to his neighbours

637 replies

Bipitybopityboop · 17/05/2021 23:20

If you found out, through work, that a pedophile was going to live on a certain street near you.
Would you anonymously let the neighbourhood know?

Would you want to know?

This could not be traced back to one individual.

OP posts:
FortunesFave · 18/05/2021 07:22

To be honest I probably would. I know all the reasons I shouldn't. But I don't really care. I think these people should be housed on prison ships out on the ocean or at least in industrial estate type places where they're not near normal people.

Mrgrinch · 18/05/2021 07:23

Yes I would tell everyone and I would feel no shame about it.

I'd rather be labelled a gossip or nasty or anything in this world than see a child fall victim to one of these scumbags.

Quincie · 18/05/2021 07:28

Whilst you are avoiding this known paedophile another 2 could be sneaking up behind you.
Probably best to keep quiet if there are as many as the policeperson implied.

Sanchez79 · 18/05/2021 07:30

I would want to know if a pedo was living near me.

There is. HTH.

Seriously OP, tread carefully. My Nana lives on the same Street as a convicted sex offender and some bastard sprayed "[Joe Bloggs] is a paedo" in massive letters on the side of HER house. If I ever get my hands on the thick, vigilante scum who put her life at risk like that they'll wish they'd never been born..

Pixxie7 · 18/05/2021 07:39

Confidentiality is just that they have to live somewhere leave it be.

twilightermummy · 18/05/2021 07:39

I didn't alert our road to the fact that the guy directly opposite me was a paedophile. A lot of our kids were playing out but the police had asked me not to. In the end, he took it too far and put a camera up facing my drive. The police checked it out and said that it was a dud but I still left very quickly after that incident. Long story short, his catalogue of crimes came to light when he was sent down this year and I regret not telling the other mums now. I didn’t want neighbours with pitchforks (although he deserved it) but he didn’t deserve to spend his days stood out in his garden chatting to anybody who’d listen whilst our children ran around, sometimes topless in the summer.

Queenofbeebers · 18/05/2021 07:40

I found out recently there is one living near me.

I came on here to ask advice about it and a good point very well made was at least I know where he is. His poor neighbour has young kids and the last I saw she had put her house in the market. Hasn’t sold though. I wonder if she has to declare it?

Nannewnannew · 18/05/2021 07:40

@BlatantlyNameChanged That is just awful. Some years ago a hospital Doctor was targeted in his home because some Neanderthals mistook him being a paediatrician for a paedophile.

OP, please do not get involved, previous posters have explained why you should mind your own business, the truth will come out eventually.

StaffRepFeistyClub · 18/05/2021 07:40

If you are in a job with access to confidential information like this that you are willing to dish to all then you are in the wrong job!

Start of a slippery slope.

And what happens if this person drops under the radar and appears in your road without you knowing.

pinkearedcow · 18/05/2021 07:40

@Cattenberg

My colleague’s young daughter was groped by a man on her way home from school. My colleague reported this to the police. At some point, she asked an officer if there were any other paedophiles living in our town and if so, where were they? The reply was “if you knew how many there were, you wouldn’t step outside your front door”.

It’s a difficult one. If I were a neighbour, I’d want to know, but if vigilantes drive paedophiles out of their homes, it becomes difficult for the authorities to monitor them.

What a lot of rubbish. Why would a police officer say that to an adult? Why would an adult not step out of their front door for fear of paedophiles?
BagORats · 18/05/2021 07:41

@Mrgrinch

Yes I would tell everyone and I would feel no shame about it.

I'd rather be labelled a gossip or nasty or anything in this world than see a child fall victim to one of these scumbags.

What if your facts were wrong and it was the wrong person? Or their family were targeted for abuse? You wouldn't feel bad if his kids were being beaten up because of something you did?
pinkearedcow · 18/05/2021 07:44

No I wouldn't OP - you won't know all the facts and you won't know whether the person is still a danger to children. They may not be.

Lovemusic33 · 18/05/2021 07:45

So someone at work told you this man is a child sex offender? Do you actually know it’s true? Is there any proof? If not then you could potentially ruin someone’s life who is innocent 😬

Please think very carefully before saying anything to anyone.

Branleuse · 18/05/2021 07:46

Id need to know more before potentially making someone homeless and have to move somewhere more anonymous.

Chanjer · 18/05/2021 07:49

Whoever's job it is that told you about it is at risk if you put it about

And if it's 2nd or 3rd hand info at this point it may well be incorrect anyway

MyOctopusFeature · 18/05/2021 07:59

@SchadenfreudePersonified

I well remember the paediatrician being hounded by idiots.

Never occurred to any of them that paedophiles don't exactly advertise their status, and that having "Paediatrician" after a name wasn't quite the clue they thought it was.

There are some pretty thick people in this world.

And we let them onto juries.

paralysedbyinertia · 18/05/2021 08:04

@mpsssm and @TotallyFloored Flowers

Goldieloxx · 18/05/2021 08:04

Absolutely not. You know nothing about this person or their rehabilitation, surprised you even need to ask this and the person that told you shouldn't be trusted with that kind of information clearly

Original poster
Bipitybopityboop · 18/05/2021 08:11

Just think of a very large organisation with open plan offices.
The information was verbally heard by and also digitally available to A LOT of people.

It's a convicted pedophile.

OP posts:
sashh · 18/05/2021 08:14

Two questions

  1. What good could / would it do?

  2. What bad could/would it do?

userxx · 18/05/2021 08:18

@Lovemusic33

So someone at work told you this man is a child sex offender? Do you actually know it’s true? Is there any proof? If not then you could potentially ruin someone’s life who is innocent 😬

Please think very carefully before saying anything to anyone.

Exactly this. I can remember a man taking his life after being accused of being Robert Thompson by a vigilante mob. So sad.

AbsolutelyPatsy · 18/05/2021 08:18

no,
he has simply been caught.
it is far better to be aware that the could be unknown paedophiles

MrsBarnstable · 18/05/2021 08:21

@pinkearedcow the officer wasn't saying the adult was in danger. They were emphasising that they were everywhere

LadyCatStark · 18/05/2021 08:23

I’m not sure people are concerned about a paedophile getting beaten up, they deserve everything they get but you’d need to be 100% sure he’s the right person and that you would not be breaking confidentiality.

MoonCatcher · 18/05/2021 08:23

Do you really think he's the only paedophile living in the neighbourhood? If you want children to be safe from them then you need a better strategy than relying on happening to know about a random few.

And you're being disingenuous by suggesting that the way you came by the info puts you at liberty to disclose it. You were presumably in your workplace doing your own job when another team?(?) discussed this case. They need to tighten up their info security, but the fact you heard by accident does not give you the right to disclose it. And looking up the info on the office computers when you have no need to do so is potentially a disciplinary and legal breach.
But I think you know all this already don't you?