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AIBU?

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Original poster

Where the washing up goes

105 replies

ChristmasAlone · 16/05/2021 17:43

I know it may sound ridiculous but this is pretty much the only thing me and DP argue about.

One of us thinks that every thing should stay on the side piled neatly, pans soaking, cutlery in a bowl soaking. The other thinks majority should go in the sink waiting, pans soaking.

Who's right, who's wrong?

We do have a dishwasher, it gets used maybe twice a year. Disagreements haven't quite reached daily use levels yet.

OP posts:
LemonDrizzles · 17/05/2021 05:29

All on the side, nothing in the sink

MeanderingGently · 17/05/2021 06:28

When I had a dishwasher, I used it all the time. Used items rinsed off and stacked straight into the dishwasher....out of sight, and when full, could be put on to wash.

Now I have a small flat and no room for a dishwasher. Used items are always stacked in the washing up bowl, in the sink. Why would I clutter up the work surfaces with used pots and pans? However, items are rinsed off and then put ready for washing up without sitting in cold, greasy water....there's nothing worse then fishing out washing up from gungy water. By putting items in a bowl, they're neat and tidy. I just lift the bowl out of the sink when I'm ready to wash up and put it on the side, freeing the sink to wash up in.

Aghasta · 17/05/2021 06:56

OP, the dishwasher is a cupboard for dirty dishes. How have you not worked that out yet?

Aghasta · 17/05/2021 06:58

@Aghasta

OP, the dishwasher is a cupboard for dirty dishes. How have you not worked that out yet?
Oh, and dirty dishes piling up on the side is the signal to empty the dishwasher.
Cassilis · 17/05/2021 07:01

@Aghasta

OP, the dishwasher is a cupboard for dirty dishes. How have you not worked that out yet?
This patronising attitude to people who don’t like dishwashers is a bit annoying. We rented a new build flat with brand new appliances and rarely used the dishwasher.
speakout · 17/05/2021 07:01

the dishwasher is a cupboard for dirty dishes.

I agree.

NeverDropYourMoonCup · 17/05/2021 07:03

Don't be ridiculous. They go into the dishwasher so nobody has to deal with pans soaking or bowls of scuzzy water.

BarbaraofSeville · 17/05/2021 07:09

This patronising attitude to people who don’t like dishwashers is a bit annoying. We rented a new build flat with brand new appliances and rarely used the dishwasher

But people who have dishwashers but won't use them almost always have a list of bizarre and incorrect reasons for not using them.

They use more water - they really don't. A dishwasher uses about half a sinkful of water to wash around a dozen large plates, half a dozen small plates, half a dozen cereal bowls, a couple of pans, some mugs and glasses, stirring spoons and a load of cutlery. Simply not possible by hand.

It takes more time to stack and unstack, again, it really doesn't.

It doesn't get things as clean - quite the opposite, things are more clean as the water is hotter than hand washing.

We don't produce much washing up, so would have to wait a day or two to switch it on - so just do this, it's absolutely fine.

Fine if you don't want to use a dishwasher, but at least own your choice without making up stupid shit.

JustJoinedRightNow · 17/05/2021 07:13

On the side - the sink should remain clear for whenever it needs to be used

Cassilis · 17/05/2021 07:17

I don’t have a bizarre reason other than I just don’t like them. It doesn’t sound like OP has a bizarre reason either.

Northernsoullover · 17/05/2021 07:17

I don't live with my partner thankfully because he is a soaker. It means when I go to wash the dishes there is cold greasy water that I have to put my hand in to remove the plug. Often there is a cold greasy dishwashing sponge or brush floating in the fetid water.

Marble2302 · 17/05/2021 07:26

@BruceAndNosh

The dishwasher is a dual purpose appliance. 1) it washes and dries dishes 2)it hides dirty dishes until they are ready to be washed.

The Second function is equally important

The second point only applies if you're lazy. Surely you just wash up after each meal unless you're a slothen.
EastWestWhosBest · 17/05/2021 07:32

On the side. If the sink is full of breakfast dishes how do you drain pasta/scrub potatoes etc.

FOJN · 17/05/2021 07:48

www.screwfix.com/p/floplast-dual-sink-wash-trap-white-40mm/33137

OP you need one of these, some PTFE an appropriate wrench and 5 minutes of your time then you can you the dishwasher without inconvenience.

MrsClatterbuck · 17/05/2021 08:06

Would not be a case of not using the dishwasher at the same time as the washing machine. Though our dishwasher didn't leak in our old house we didn't use both at the same time as they both drained into the same system.
I hate dirty dishes being put into the sink especially when I am maybe soaking dishcloths. Dh does it all the time. Plus we have a dishwasher so why doesn't he put them in it. Or he asks if the dishwasher has clean or dirty dishes in it. Just look in it damm it and then either put them in it or stack them on the side. Gives me the rage. Can you tell?

SchrodingersImmigrant · 17/05/2021 08:41

@ShirleyPhallus

Everything is quickly run under a tap and straight in dishwasher.

What a waste of water! Dishwashers work more efficiently when the plates are dirty. Don’t rinse!

You should rinse bits off. Not the sauces. Fucking watermelon seeds are the worst (after rice) getting stuck in the spray holes. Aaaagr. Season is coming. I am getting my nerves ready😂
SchrodingersImmigrant · 17/05/2021 08:43

Oh my, yes @BarbaraofSeville is absolutely correct with the reasons

Waxonwaxoff0 · 17/05/2021 08:48

On the side for me. I wash up straight after eating.

I have a dishwasher and I've never used it. It came with the house I bought. We are a one adult one child family, breakfast dishes take 5 minutes to wash and dinner 10 minutes max so I don't find it a big effort.

romany4 · 17/05/2021 08:52

Always on the side neatly stacked. Never in sink.
I've also never had a kitchen big enough for a dishwasher

NoIDontWatchLoveIsland · 17/05/2021 09:04

Use the dishwasher
But no, never in the sink. On the side or in an ideal world, washed immediately, dried and put away. Grim to leave stuff for hours dirty

ThrowAwayName01 · 17/05/2021 09:08

This is the one thing you argue about and 15 minutes of re-plumbing would mean it's usable all the time. No more arguments about where things go, they go in the dishwasher and whoever puts the last item in it that fills it up sets it to run.

Original poster
ChristmasAlone · 17/05/2021 13:44

@FOJN

www.screwfix.com/p/floplast-dual-sink-wash-trap-white-40mm/33137

OP you need one of these, some PTFE an appropriate wrench and 5 minutes of your time then you can you the dishwasher without inconvenience.

Honestly we've tried a few different U bends. The dishwasher has been put in and the waste pipe is at an angle that genuinely makes it impossible for both to be connected at the same time. We've had an actual plumber come out and look, I was sceptical of DP diagnosis originally and thought he was trying to get out of it - he swore blue he wasn't making it up and offered me a if I'm wrong I'll pay, if I'm not you pay for the call out deal. A call out charge later I found out he wasn't lying 😅
OP posts:
LostThings · 17/05/2021 13:47

On the side.

GrolliffetheDragon · 17/05/2021 14:30

Submerged in soapy water in the bowl, in the sink. My kitchen is too small to stack them anywhere, and one of the cats likes licking plates and we tend to have a lot of spicy food - the result is not nice.

I tend to wash up every evening after DS has gone to bed so everything is clear in the morning. Unless I'm leaving something to soak.

FOJN · 17/05/2021 15:04

ChristmasAlone

Did the plumber have any suggestions on how to fix it? It seems bizarre that a couple of hoses, water trap and waste pipe can't be configured to accommodate 2 appliances without major building work. I admit I'm curious now.