Page 3 | AIBU to want to talk to my 10 year old daughter about hair removal?

ChloeCrocodile · 16/05/2021 19:14

for me this topic is part of higiene, in the future she will be happy that you to teached her this

Is it fuck part of hygiene. Washing daily keeps you perfectly hygienic; removal of body hair is aesthetic. I’m not judging that - I usually shave my armpits and legs if they’re going to be seen. But it is nothing to do with hygiene!

Merchymor · 16/05/2021 19:15

A few posters have mentioned hygiene.. personally I think it's important not to equate body hair with being unhygienic or any sense of shame.

It's just a choice. I'd personally prefer the world not to get hysterical at the sight of hair on a girl or woman's body. But the world is the way it is and I would help my daughter to do whatever made her most comfortable rather than take an ideological stance no matter how much I would like to...

lazyarse123 · 16/05/2021 19:18

@MrsGRamsay

My mother approached me with a disposable razor for my armpits muttering something about hygiene when I was circa 11 years old - it’s probably the same one rusting in the bathroom cabinet given how few times I’ve used it - but I’m remarkably fuzz free (eyebrows are crap too) everywhere apart from head.

However, I’ve judged (relatively well to do) mums with very hairy prepubescent girls - for f sake, pay for waxing now and they won’t have an issue by 18!

Why are you judging girls for having hair? It's society causing issues.

Original poster

MaryST7 · 16/05/2021 19:18

Even though you don't have girls, that's great advice - a really good way to bring it up. Thanks!

OP posts:

SunshiningBetty · 16/05/2021 19:21

To be honest I do find I’m a bit smellier at the end of the day in general if I don’t shave under my arms and I definitely get more sweat patches so it is partly a hygiene issue.

Nandocushion · 16/05/2021 19:23

I told my daughter when she was 11 and getting hair that some women remove their body hair and some don't, and if she wanted to remove hers to let me know and we could talk about ways to do it. She's 15 and doesn't bother.

Original poster

MaryST7 · 16/05/2021 19:24

Wow, thank you everyone. Some real food for thought. Have decided - mainly due to so many people having had negative experiences when they were younger as too embarrassed to ask - to go for the "Wow, just noticed you have underarm hair now, like me! You ok with it or want to remove it like I do? Either way is fine " All advice was gratefully received though and some interesting opinions, all valid.

OP posts:

Mankyfruitbowl · 16/05/2021 19:25

Does this mean that men and teen boys should shave armpits and legs, otherwise they're unhygienic?

I agree with PPs that although I do both, it's not for hygiene reasons and I wouldn't be telling my daughters this.

AFS1 · 16/05/2021 19:29

I bought my daughter an electric razor when she started getting armpit hair. Told her it was there if she wanted it and I was happy to show her how, but it was entirely her choice about whether to remove her hair or not.

It took at least another year before she came to me and said she wanted to give it a go.

AFS1 · 16/05/2021 19:30

Should say, she did it once a couple of months ago and hasn’t bothered since. Whatever works for her is fine by me.

IDontLikeMyselfToday · 16/05/2021 19:32

@MaryST7

I only noticed yesterday that my 10 year old has now got underarm hair - it's darkish, so quite noticeable. I am planning to chat to her and ask what she thinks. If she isn't bothered by it I will happily leave it at that for now, fingers crossed. But if she's not, then I don't want to get this wrong....so would really like to hear from anyone who has gone through this stage recently. If she's unsure, I should probably try and persuade her it's best to leave it be, at least for now. But if she does want to get rid, what do people recommend based on experience? TIA.

I would wait until she comes to you. She may be fine with it.

As long as you make sure she has plenty of deodorant and is washing properly.

TakeMe2Insanity · 16/05/2021 19:38

I’m a strong advocate of going to your daughter and saying if she doesn’t like it there are options. If she’s happy with the hair all good. I say this as I didn’t really realise I had to ask my mum for options so decided to find my own solutions - using a sharp craft blade which looking back was extremely unsafe and bloody dangerous.

MintyMabel · 16/05/2021 20:01

DD, just turned 12, asked me about the stubbly hair on her knees as she crawls due to her disability, and they are really itchy. I bought her a razor to use and showed her how to use it. We spoke about hair removal generally and said there is no reason to remove it unless it bothers her but the minute she starts it’s just one more thing she has to think about doing regularly so to think carefully about when or if she wants to do that. It bugs me this pressure is put on them so young, but most of her friends have hairy legs so it’s obviously not an issue among them yet.

It's not fair that the burden is on her to ask you for basic things like hygiene products.

Shaving underarm hair or leg hair has bugger all to do with hygiene.

EggyBread4me · 16/05/2021 20:52

I wouldn't wait for her to bring it up in case she is embarrassed. I really wanted my mum to say something, but she was waiting for me 🙁

Lolwhat · 16/05/2021 21:13

Please talk to her about it, I took chunks out of myself with a rusty old razor at the back of the cabinet

SkodaKodiaq · 16/05/2021 21:49

@MrsGRamsay You're suggesting that shaving somehow causes hair to stop growing after a few years?! Yeah, that doesn't happen. That's not how hair works.
If your hair has stopped growing then kudos to you, but it's not because of shaving/waxing...!

Daisychain789 · 16/05/2021 22:42

I would mention it. I have thick dark hair and was so embarrassed about body hair but didn’t feel I could discuss it with my mum.
So round a razor and removed part of the hair, cutting all my legs in the process

MrsGRamsay · 16/05/2021 22:43

@SkodaKodiaq . Nope. That’s not what I said. Waxing, not shaving.

Ravenspeckingearly · 16/05/2021 22:49

My dd took my razor and shaved her legs and arms herself aged 8. She is quite hairy. She had mentioned wanting to before, but I was trying to put it off til she was older. I said it was fine, but if she asked id be able to help her in the future.......which is exactly what happens. No doubt she’ll be asking for help with the first armpit hair. I’ve started saving for lazer treatment for as soon as she is older enough.

SparklyLeprechaun · 16/05/2021 22:54

Dd (almost 11) asked years ago because she saw me wax, so it was never a big deal. I took her through the options and she's decided by herself she will wait a bit, but when she's ready we'll try a few things and let her choose.

ThanksForAllTheFish · 16/05/2021 23:05

My 11 year old DD came to me about underarm hair a couple of months ago. I showed her how to shave it with a razor and shaving foam. (Demonstrated on my own pits). I’ve let her know where the spare razors are kept and to let me know if she needs anything or if she accidentally nics the skin. I will probably buy her an electric razor at some point later this year.

I would say that you could mention it to her and ask if she would want to remove it or leave it. Is a funny age as they can be really self conscious about their bodies. I think letting them know you are open to talk is the best thing to do. I remember my mum wouldn’t let me shave my legs when I was 12 (in my first year of high school) and it was mortifying in PE. I never want my DD to go through that.

SkodaKodiaq · 17/05/2021 01:04

[quote MrsGRamsay]@SkodaKodiaq . Nope. That’s not what I said. Waxing, not shaving.[/quote]
Waxing also does NOT stop hair growth, regardless of how many years you've been doing it! It just doesn't work like that!

Teacherontherun · 17/05/2021 01:48

As a fairly hairy child I was desperate to ensure my daughter knew she had options! She has seen me use my lumea and asked if I could use it on her arms.

M0rT · 17/05/2021 01:59

Whatever your daughter wants to do is fine but if she goes down the hair removal route consider getting her an electric shaver for safety.
And if she wants cream removal do a test patch first, the likes of VEET burn me.

Boredoutmymind · 17/05/2021 03:16

girls and women don't need to remove body hair.