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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Upsetting encounter with mentally ill man, he spat on me

144 replies

Ldnmum276 · 16/05/2021 15:29

I've just had an upsetting encounter with a local well known character in the town centre. He has mental ill health and substance abuse issues.

The reception you get when you pass him varies depending on how he is on any given day, he's either chirpy and saying hello to everybody / stopping traffic so women with prams can cross the road.. or behaving aggressively to passers by.

I've just been for my daily cycle and stopped at a shop for a drink. When I came out to unlock my bicycle he approached me shouting and got right into my personal space, because he was so close to me he actually spat directly into my eye.

I'm not sure that the spit was intentional (though he was being deliberately aggressive) but that would be no comfort to me if he gave me covid or god knows what else.

I'm a small woman with a very obvious pregnant bump and must have looked terrified but people (men!) just glanced and walked on by.

I managed to get on my bicycle and make a hasty exit when he turned his attention to another person walking past.

I'm home now and my eye feels a bit sore but that could be because I've rubbed it that much Sad

Not an AIBU as such but I'm feeling a bit shaken up and wanted to get it out somewhere.

Nothing can be done really can it?

I'm going to be on edge whenever I see him now which is fairly often. He's never targeted me before today, infact I've actually bought him food a few times as harmless as I thought he was.

OP posts:
Iamaperwinkle · 16/05/2021 16:31

You need to report this to 101. Not to 'get him into trouble' but so the police can help and support him to the right place. This must of been terrifying. I'm so sorry actually that others ignored you. I'm so so sorry that happened.
Maybe they didn't ignore but have reported it -you can only hope. But please report it.

Original poster
Ldnmum276 · 16/05/2021 16:32

@Bluntness100

I think your thread title has confused people op. He didn’t spit on you, which indicates a deliberate act, more as he was talking some spittle came out. Which is very different, people are thinking he spat at you on purpose.
Sorry if I wasn't clear.

Spitting on me was a byproduct of him shouting in my face as opposed to him approaching me with the intention to spit at me.

OP posts:
Original poster
Ldnmum276 · 16/05/2021 16:34

I have reported it to 101, I gave his name and where it happened / what time etc.

OP posts:
NewlyGranny · 16/05/2021 16:36

Have you irrigated the eye, OP? Set a high mixer tap to a blood-heat or cooler trickle and let it run over the surface of the eye gently while you blink.

How horrid! Never mind who or why, it's horrid for you.

Tooshytoshine · 16/05/2021 16:36

Nowhere near there, I'm afraid. It seems to be an issue all over though as lockdowns and reduced services have impacted most on vulnerable people... It doesn't make it less intimidating though.

starsparkle08 · 16/05/2021 16:40

I would also report to the police . He is at risk to self and others and needs taking in for assessment and treatment for his mental health .

What an awful thing for you to experience 😞 I hope that you are ok and it’s saddening nobody came to intervene or even ask are you ok . How sh*t people can be

starsparkle08 · 16/05/2021 16:42

Glad to see you have reported , hope that you get some follow up news later today

user1471538283 · 16/05/2021 16:46

I know he is sick but report him to the police. Spitting is assault. He also needs some support. But this does not trump what he did to you. How awful.

georgarina · 16/05/2021 16:47

Ah I'm sorry that happened to you - I'm also a small pregnant person and had a similar encounter the other week. Thankfully a man walking past told him to get away from me and he did.

Bluntness100 · 16/05/2021 16:48

@Iamaperwinkle

You need to report this to 101. Not to 'get him into trouble' but so the police can help and support him to the right place. This must of been terrifying. I'm so sorry actually that others ignored you. I'm so so sorry that happened. Maybe they didn't ignore but have reported it -you can only hope. But please report it.
Honestly I know you mean well but it’s very naive to believe help is just waiting for anyone who is reported to need it.
threeteenstaximum · 16/05/2021 16:49

OP, I don't know if you saw my post earlier. Do all the agencies who could help him, and this chap who is in mental health crisis, a favour, by ringing back the police to confirm you want to make a statement.

At the moment your information lies at the 'local police intelligence ' level rather than a reported potential criminal offence level, which they HAVE to act upon. Police don't progress with prosecutions if it is not in public best interest, but it will get a more active response and support for him to "divert him from custody" .

People PPs are saying the agencies do nothing but if members of the public don't report criminal offences, they would otherwise die to suspecting someone is inH crisis, it becomes a circular situation of no one having legal imperative to act.

threeteenstaximum · 16/05/2021 16:50

Due not die 🤐

eatsleepread · 16/05/2021 16:52

It's disgraceful that nobody helped you. Bloody cowards.
Hope you're ok.

threeteenstaximum · 16/05/2021 16:54

Honestly I know you mean well but it’s very naive to believe help is just waiting for anyone who is reported to need it.

You are mistaken and I have explained why. It is important OP makes a statement

The outcome of this one incident will be decided by police CPS and MH services / Adults Heath and care if she follows through with a statement, but it will add to a risk picture far better to have an official police statement of the offence than leaving it as local intelligence.

andweallsingalong · 16/05/2021 16:57

Unfortunately mental health services are so dire in many areas that being arrested would probably be the best thing.

Time in cells would start to detox him from substances and he would be seen by a mental health professional who could arrange section IF he meets the impossibly high standard.

andweallsingalong · 16/05/2021 16:59

Sorry, distracted by child and took ages to finish post - what @threeteenstaximum said is spot on

maskface212 · 16/05/2021 17:02

@Ldnmum276

There are videos of him on YouTube stemming back 11 years, doing much the same as today, ranting and raving at people / on the bus.

Teenagers seem to think he's hilarious but it's certainly not amusing to be on the receiving end of it.

There was a man who used to hang around on a road where I was walking one day. He said hello, I said hello back, he asked me for a light, I said I don't smoke and then he started following me and calling me names. When I got home, I contacted 101, told them exactly where he was and what he had been doing and said there was a danger the situation could escalate as he was being aggressive. He was also drunk, swigging from cans. The police did take it seriously and asked for his exact location.

I also reported some male teens, about five of them who were shouting at women and harassing them. One of them blocked my path as I tried to walk past. I had seen them several times before. I reported to the police, again dialed 101 and they sent someone out to tell them to move on.

It is worth reporting OP.

Maddox33 · 16/05/2021 17:03

You should be okay regarding his saliva going in your eye, eyes tend to self-cleanse BUT I would still see your GP or minor injuries (ring first to see if they have an ophthalmologist) because of the current situation and his medical history.

You poor thing, what a horrible day. I'm glad you've reported it to the police.

SingingWaffleDoggy · 16/05/2021 17:07

The risk of transmission is low but you definitely do need to call 111. Especially being pregnant, and due to his possible drug use. I had saliva in my eye and had to undergo needle stick protocol blood tests for 6 months as the individual was a high risk person

PurpleRainDancer · 16/05/2021 17:09

@Thisisworsethananticpated

You have to put it down to experience I remember when a man hit me once , just random walking by

However when PG is more upsetting

Bollocks to ‘putting it down to experience’ are you bloody serious?
InFiveMins · 16/05/2021 17:11

Report it OP. His illness could be escalating and he could end up doing something very serious.

As for your eye, I am not trying to diminish how you feel, but the chances of you contracting something are low - bathe it in warm water and try to rest. You're understandably worked up from it and that is more likely to make you poorly. Flowers

Original poster
Ldnmum276 · 16/05/2021 17:11

I'll consider phoning back and saying I'll make a statement if people think it'll make a difference to the intervention he gets, I'm just waiting for DH to get home first as he doesn't know about it yet.

The risk of transmission is low but you definitely do need to call 111. Especially being pregnant, and due to his possible drug use. I had saliva in my eye and had to undergo needle stick protocol blood tests for 6 months as the individual was a high risk person

Were they deemed high risk because of a known condition or was it purely due to being a drug user?

I'm panicking a bit now Sad

I've never been a particularly anxious person but this pregnancy has brought it out in me.

I've tried to rinse my eye as best I can at home but probably not sufficiently.

OP posts:
limpingparrot · 16/05/2021 17:12

Goodness @Ldnmum276 I was just thinking this sounds like Fritz in Catford. I had a problem with him a few years ago when he was agressive because I didn’t have a pound on me. Sorry this happened to you.

whataboutbob · 16/05/2021 17:13

Just sending sympathies, something similar happened to me about 20years ago, he came right up to my face and yelled “c..t” repeatedly , in the most venomous way. I had a student doing clinical training with me, I was beyond mortified. I cried and cried when I got home that evening. Saw him again in M&S a few weeks later and asked security to keep an eye on him while I was in there. Got the feeling they knew him already.

Original poster
Ldnmum276 · 16/05/2021 17:14

@limpingparrot

Goodness *@Ldnmum276* I was just thinking this sounds like Fritz in Catford. I had a problem with him a few years ago when he was agressive because I didn’t have a pound on me. Sorry this happened to you.
Yes that's who it was @limpingparrot

He's something of a celebrity around these ends isn't he, but I use that term loosely.

OP posts: