Upsetting encounter with mentally ill man, he spat on me

[Ldnmum276]

I've just had an upsetting encounter with a local well known character in the town centre. He has mental ill health and substance abuse issues.

The reception you get when you pass him varies depending on how he is on any given day, he's either chirpy and saying hello to everybody / stopping traffic so women with prams can cross the road.. or behaving aggressively to passers by.

I've just been for my daily cycle and stopped at a shop for a drink. When I came out to unlock my bicycle he approached me shouting and got right into my personal space, because he was so close to me he actually spat directly into my eye.

I'm not sure that the spit was intentional (though he was being deliberately aggressive) but that would be no comfort to me if he gave me covid or god knows what else.

I'm a small woman with a very obvious pregnant bump and must have looked terrified but people (men!) just glanced and walked on by.

I managed to get on my bicycle and make a hasty exit when he turned his attention to another person walking past.

I'm home now and my eye feels a bit sore but that could be because I've rubbed it that much

Not an AIBU as such but I'm feeling a bit shaken up and wanted to get it out somewhere.

Nothing can be done really can it?

I'm going to be on edge whenever I see him now which is fairly often. He's never targeted me before today, infact I've actually bought him food a few times as harmless as I thought he was.

There are videos of him on YouTube stemming back 11 years, doing much the same as today, ranting and raving at people / on the bus.

Teenagers seem to think he's hilarious but it's certainly not amusing to be on the receiving end of it.

The problem is with 'local characters' who have mental health issues, is that people rarely report to the police because they kind of grow used to the behaviour.

Then when the behaviour gets worse or more frequent, the authorities are unaware of it.

I'd definitely report to 101 OP. You made it clear in your opening post that he didn't spit at your unintentionally, so I'm sure it won't be seen as assault but they should be made aware of the incident.

@Thisisworsethananticpated

+What 'experience' should she have to put this down to?!*

Life experience
Shit happens
What do you suggest ?
Report ? Waste her time reporting a man for basically nothing to happen
Do enlighten me

Or report so he is more likely to get some mental health support to reduce the chance of this happening to someone else?

If more people report, it's more likely something will be done.

You're so flippant about something upsetting on a thread by a pregnant woman who has been verbally assaulted today while people walked past and did nothing.

Maybe you think they were right not to get involved and to just let her get the 'life experience' and accept 'shit happens' even if they could have helped her feel less vulnerable and scared.

Sorry, you made it clear in your OP that he did not spit at you intentionally is what I meant to say.

I'll call 101 now, I don't expect the police will be able to do much but hopefully they can liase with MH services who can assess the situation.

I've only lived round here for 4 years but my DH who grew up here said that the man has some sort of vendetta against the police, probably because he's regularly approached for behaviour like this.

I don’t know why everyone is so outraged

I’m totally sympathetic to what happened and I’m sorry if I didn’t articulate it OP, really

But the world is fully of mentally ill people and there is no solution or support

She can report , sure
But nothing will happen

So isn’t she better putting it down to a horrible experience and moving on

I would speak to your g.p about the spitting and report the incident to 101, the police can visit him, he may be in crisis and needs support somewhere safe. Kids posting him on YouTube is really unkind, but you need to look after yourself first.

@Thisisworsethananticpated how do you know nothing will happen? You don’t.

Maybe you think they were right not to get involved and to just let her get the 'life experience

That’s a major assumption
No , I would and do stop to help people

But there is no support , no MH intervention - nothing will change

Do people think that she reports and a MH team are going to swoop in

So your solution is to ignore it?

But the world is fully of mentally ill people and there is no solution or support

Many people reading this will have had issues with their mental illness that have been improved by intervention from medication, therapy etc. That's not to say there aren't far, far, far too many people who are let down by the system - which is overloaded and understaffed, but if we encourage everyone not to report things and to just say well shit happens, get on with it, then mental health provisions will be taken even less seriously.

Many issues in society such as sexism and racism are still far too prevalent and happen every day, but saying not to report them because shit happens and it's just the way it is would be a sort of complicity in silence and conceding to the system being permanently flawed.

Only action makes change happen, not inaction.

Do people think that she reports and a MH team are going to swoop in

Of course not, how patronising.

It's simply more likely that intervention occurs with reporting than without reporting.

It may still not be addressed adequately or dealt with, but reporting means it's more likely to be than not reporting.

If this man (who sounds very unwell and I feel for as well as feeling for OP) did this to 5 people a week and nobody reported it, it's less likely he will be supported than if he did this to 5 people a week and some or all reported it.

Let’s agree to disagree

I’m highly cynical and despondent about the MH support out there and that coloured my response

OP again , I’m sorry you had this happen and I’m sorry if my response landed as flippant
I was very upset and shaken when it happened to me

I’m sorry OP. That sounds like a really upsetting and intimidating encounter. I think you’re doing the right thing reporting it to the police - for his own sake and everyone else.

Do people think that she reports and a MH team are going to swoop in

Yes. MH/health professional here

That is exactly what she should do. Report to the police and let them take it from here, they have procedures to follow, which will involve MASH (multi agency safeguarding) viewing the report as he is a vulnerable perpetrator who has caused harm /threatening behaviour to a member of the public (a young woman who is pregnant) and was accosted by him erratically and unprovoked.

The outcome of what the agencies decide to do or mot, is not what is important here, it's that his behaviour and the incident is flagged up. Police will want to collect cctv and will want to identify him (even if they know who OP means)

Sorry this happened to you, it sounds frightening despite your understanding of his issues.

I had something similar recently where a mentally ill man known locally wantdd to say hello to my daughter. We said a polite hello. It was too much for her as he was insistent on trying to touch her so we crossed the road.

He shouted at me from the other side of the road that he wasn't an effing paedophile that I was a bitch, a c**t etc as we walked down the road for five mins until we could go into the large supermarket down the road (as they have security guards). Nobody on the busy high street even acknowledged that a woman and her toddler were being shouted at.

Mental Health services are failing and people are in crisis, there is no harm in calling 101 and just flagging this up.

@Thisisworsethananticpated

I think your advice is actually irresponsible.

This needs to be reported, it could be an escalation in behaviour that his team would need to know about , and it's a public order offence as well, he might even have capacity and should be prosecuted

I spoke with somebody from 101, she took all of the details and said she would pass it on to the police in my burrough (101 puts you through to the MET control room and they direct it accordingly)

When asked I said I didn't feel the need to speak to the police in person as I'm coming from an angle of trying to get intervention for him rather than have him arrested.

I have a log number though and if I see him and anything happens again then I can report it quoting today's incident.

OP think of reporting this as protecting him & giving him an opportunity to access support.

He committee a crime by shouting at you and spitting in you (that's an assault, you don't need to guess whether it was unintended or not he was shouting close & aggressively enough to you he spat in your eye, hard to do accidentally) and it is causing fear and alarm (harassment) in the street.

It absolutely will help him, because of everyone reported his behaviour when it is unsafe, it builds up a risk picture that gives him a prioroty to be picked up and given support. It's better he gets support before he causes himself harm or repeats this to an even more vulnerable person/ child,
due to being in a MH crisis . What he was saying sounds like a paranoid episode and the fact it was unprovoked tells the story to police and services that he is in crisis.

We have one of these ‘local characters’ where we live. Drug user with severe mental health issues. Most of the time he keeps himself to himself but he can have episodes where his behaviour is quite threatening. Local mental health services have been less than useless. The elderly and female residents are scared of him, as am I. I genuinely think it will end either with him hurting someone or someone hurting him. He has a team of local volunteers who look out for him and give him food and clothes, etc, but if anyone raises any concern or criticism about him, they’re shouted down for ‘hating’ and being awful to a poor homeless man.

I honestly don’t know what the answer is. I’m sorry that happened to you. You should report it to the police and see if that gets you anywhere.

You have my sympathies OP and from what you’ve described, I almost wonder whether we live in the same time as there is a homeless man in the town I live in with exactly the same challenges. Known mental health and drugs issues and can be pleasant kne day and highly aggressive the next. So many people in the town watch out for him and he’s had so many offers of help but won’t accept them. It’s heartbreaking to watch.

It much have been so frightening for you to experience and no wonder you’ll be wary of him now. Sadly if it’s anything like the homeless man where I live, 101 won’t be able to to help. The police will know him and he’s just on a cycle. The guy where I live ‘disappears’ occassionally (I’m guessing either sectioned or in prison for a while, but then returns and the cycle starts again. Some people just don’t seem to be able to be helped regardless of how much help if offered 😢

@Ldnmum276

I spoke with somebody from 101, she took all of the details and said she would pass it on to the police in my burrough (101 puts you through to the MET control room and they direct it accordingly)

When asked I said I didn't feel the need to speak to the police in person as I'm coming from an angle of trying to get intervention for him rather than have him arrested.

I have a log number though and if I see him and anything happens again then I can report it quoting today's incident.

Well done. But if I were you, I would speak to police officer. Having a crime with statement about how frightened you were and unprovoked it was, will help him more. It gives the agencies a responsibility to act.

@Tooshytoshine I don't suppose you live in catford do you? The man in my OP regularly approaches wanting to say hello to people's kids too, and insists on shaking their hand or giving them a high 5

I think your thread title has confused people op. He didn’t spit on you, which indicates a deliberate act, more as he was talking some spittle came out. Which is very different, people are thinking he spat at you on purpose.

So ring the police back and say you want to make a statement. A CPO will come out and take your statement.

Please believe me this will help them investigate it and act on it, requiring other agencies do something, far more robustly