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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not want husband to play pool due to variant

104 replies

LoadingChoc · 15/05/2021 21:06

My husband is 51 and is vaccinated fully but has heart disease. He is going to play pool without a few times a week due to easing of restrictions. Ther will probably be 15 in the venue. Aibu to be angry that he is going because the variant from india can infect those fully vaccinated?

OP posts:
DelBocaVista · 16/05/2021 14:16

Abso-bloody-lutely I believe things should remain in lockdown with non-essential business, mosques and museums etc shut for as long as the virus is a threat. It's not really that much of a hardship.

I take it you don't run a business or work in an industry which is impacted by lockdown then??

No hard ship??? Try saying that to someone who runs a pub.
Such a blinkered attitude

Lbnc2021 · 16/05/2021 14:17

Let’s be honest op, you just don’t want him going out the house and having any kind of life without your permission, come on now. Stop using covid as an excuse.

osbertthesyrianhamster · 16/05/2021 14:19

The virus, like all viruses, is going to be a threat to some people forever. It's going nowhere.

SmidgenofaPigeon · 16/05/2021 14:24

If some people want to retreat under a stone for the rest of their days and just not bother with life please crack on. Just try and do it without spouting bullshit at the rest of us that actually value getting out there and living again.

ilovesooty · 16/05/2021 14:30

let him go

How gracious.

The last time I played pool (and I used to play competitively) it wasn't an activity resulting in a lot of heavy breathing and emission.

Do ask him to sanitise his balls though Grin

AintPageantMaterial · 16/05/2021 14:32

@LoadingChoc

Ok I admit saying that a few more years is a bitt tongue in cheek. But surely we must all be very careful until everyone has been vaccinated and the vulnerable have been given booster shots in the autumn and the global state of covid is better. After all it's easier to be cautious now than to reverse measures later. However I will let my husband go but will still be worried.
You will LET your husband go. THAT, right there, is the problem. Your DH is an adult. It is not for you to “let” him do things and the fact that you think it is shows that you do not respect him. You can love someone and feel protective about their health but it is infantilising, disrespectful and entitled to believe that it is in your gift to decide whether they still do things. Your disproportionate worries are your own problem to deal with, not your DH’s.
TheKeatingFive · 16/05/2021 14:35

I believe things should remain in lockdown with non-essential business, mosques and museums etc shut for as long as the virus is a threat. It's not really that much of a hardship.

Christ, some people haven’t the faintest clue. 🙄

AintPageantMaterial · 16/05/2021 14:36

I believe things should remain in lockdown with non-essential business, mosques and museums etc shut for as long as the virus is a threat

Careful @skirk64, your racism is showing.

Returnoftheowl · 16/05/2021 14:38

A few more years?!

You'll let him go?!

I'm hoping this is all a wind up.

JassyRadlett · 16/05/2021 14:41

Abso-bloody-lutely I believe things should remain in lockdown with non-essential business, mosques and museums etc shut for as long as the virus is a threat. It's not really that much of a hardship.

Just this virus? Why not all infectious diseases?

AlternativePerspective · 16/05/2021 14:43

I just think that a few more years of being extra cautious is a small price to pay. price to pay for what? What’s the point of having a life if you’re not actually living it?

OP I am in heart failure and I have stuck to the rules to the letter. I have now been fully vaccinated, and while I of course will be cautious, frankly if I catch COVID now and die then so be it.

you just can’t live like that. COVID is here to stay. People will still catch it, and people will still die from it. Just as they die from the flu each year despite vaccination.

EmpressSuiko · 16/05/2021 14:49

YABU - the vaccine doesn’t protect us from any of the variants 100%. The main hope is it makes any reactions to Covid less severe and there’s been evidence that the vaccines still work against the Indian variant, it’s just not as effective.
People who get the flu jab every year still can catch flu and some may die but that doesn’t stop us from taking the risk and going out.
We can’t put our lives on hold forever.

TheKeatingFive · 16/05/2021 14:52

you just can’t live like that.

In fairness, people can if they want. It’s dictating to others that’s the problem.

iklboo · 16/05/2021 14:52

Abso-bloody-lutely I believe things should remain in lockdown with non-essential business, mosques and museums etc shut for as long as the virus is a threat. It's not really that much of a hardship.

We don't know how long the virus will be a threat. You want to stay in lockdown for ever, destroy all economies & send us back into the Dark Ages?

Respectivehomelands · 16/05/2021 14:53

Abso-bloody-lutely I believe things should remain in lockdown with non-essential business, mosques and museums etc shut for as long as the virus is a threat. It's not really that much of a hardship.

Jesus Christ I honestly just don't know where to start with this kind of unbelievably selfish myopic attitude.

ItWasLikeThatWhenIGotHere · 16/05/2021 14:55

Depends where you are. If you’re in Bolton or Lugwardine then maybe pretty risky to spend an evening in an enclosed probably poorly ventilated space having a laugh with fifteen unmasked blokes. In most of the country the chances of one of the other fifteen having it is fairly low. I guess if they’re all roughly his age then they’ll probably mostly be vaccinated as well, which does help, despite a couple people upthread still trotting out “the vaccine only stops you getting ill it doesn’t stop you catching and spreading it”.

But basically I agree with everyone else - he’s an adult, it’s his decision to make.

TheGumption · 16/05/2021 14:55

Good of you to let him go Hmm

StormzyinaTCup · 16/05/2021 15:03

My DH is same age as yours OP, has heart disease and fully vaccinated.

He has gone back to the gym three times a week as soon as they were reopened. If he waited years due to COVID before being able to resume his gym sessions then the detrimental effect on his health from not being able to do this would be huge. It also has a positive effect on his mental health as far as being able to socialise outside of four walls (he works from home).

None of us are going to be hiding away.

TakeYourFinalPosition · 16/05/2021 15:03

But surely we must all be very careful until everyone has been vaccinated and the vulnerable have been given booster shots in the autumn and the global state of covid is better.

That might not happen. I mean, it probably won’t happen. Not everyone can be vaccinated, and there will be a percentage of people who can who won’t ever chose to be. The vulnerable booster shots might not do much - FIL has been vaccinated fully for a month but is still showing as not having antibodies in the NHS random testing. He’s 74, high blood pressure and had cancer 7 years ago but no chemo. His immune system just doesn’t seem to be picking it up. His booster might not help. Some people won’t be “safe”, and there’s likely to be variants for a while, that’ll vary in severity.

There’s a time when you’ve done what you can, and you have to allow people to make personal risk assessments, both for quality of life purposes and because the economy cannot support lockdown. We’ll be paying back the lockdown from last year for a long time. That doesn’t mean it was wrong; but it means you have to weigh that up when it comes to continuing it.

Also, some people might not have a few years left. Not just old people...

Dollywilde · 16/05/2021 15:05

It’s almost like some people are in denial that humans are mortal. Let’s all stay at home until we’ve eliminated death, eh? Hmm

sweeneytoddsrazor · 16/05/2021 15:05

Of course its a bloody hardship. Lockdown for a few more years? So many people who would never see family members again as they would die of non covid related issues within that time scale, so many people who would lose their jobs, so many who would be driven to suicide. So many youngsters who would have to spend so much time catching up on not only proper education but also learning about the transition of childhood to adulthood even though they would by then be adults.

2bazookas · 16/05/2021 15:15

He's not a child, and presumably any children of his are adults or close to it; so he can decide for himself.

Indian variant covid is more infectious, not more deadly. Vaccinated people can still get covid but if they do it should be mild enough not to need hospital treatment. That's the benefit of full vaccination.

katy1213 · 16/05/2021 15:20

A few more years? For a man who already has heart disease that could be a big % of the years he has left. Why wouldn't he want to get out and enjoy himself while he can!

Hobnobswantshernameback · 16/05/2021 15:28

I swear some people are wanking themselves into a frenzy about lockdowns
The lack of understanding of risk assessment and common sense is actually scarier than covid

HalzTangz · 16/05/2021 15:30

@LoadingChoc

My husband is 51 and is vaccinated fully but has heart disease. He is going to play pool without a few times a week due to easing of restrictions. Ther will probably be 15 in the venue. Aibu to be angry that he is going because the variant from india can infect those fully vaccinated?
Yanu

Any vaccinated person can still catch any strain of covid, the vaccine reduces symptoms. At some point we are all going to need to start mixing, whether we are vaccinated or not.
These charades of lockdowns can't go on forever